


the end is where we begin

by nishiki



Series: when the world is burning [2]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BigBro Altair, BigBro Malik, M/M, at first, malik is an asshole, may contain fluff, puppy love crush, then he comes in and sweeps everyone off their feet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:04:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 76,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3240716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Malik stood even though his legs had the consistence of pudding and even though his knees were practically nonexistent anymore. He couldn’t manage to speak a word but in fact he wouldn’t know either what to say. He had no plan for a situation like this. He hadn’t been prepared for his parents dying in a stupid car accident and that his brother would need an operation just because they wanted to visit him (just because Malik rather lived in a town like Dorchester than close to his parents). He had wasted his life to prepare himself for more absurd scenarios or for the day his parents would peacefully fall asleep and never wake up again as soon as Kadar would be old enough to deal with it. Oh who was he trying to fool? Nobody was ever old enough to be able to deal with the death of his parents."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

Malik Al-Sayf was alone when the two coffins slowly descended into the ground. Well … no, he was not _exactly_ alone at the cemetery. In fact, there were quite a lot people around him, all dressed in depressing black clothes to stand by his side and mourn the loss of two great human beings, two of the best they all had probably known - if he was going to ask them, of course. Never in his entire life of twenty-five years had Malik ever felt so alone than in that very moment.

He always thought it would be raining when this time would come. It just seemed right and oddly fitting when a son had to bury his parents, but the sun was laughing down at him like it did not understand his misery. The weather clearly was not even giving a damn about what the humans thought the right weather for a funeral should be. By his side, there were his parents' friends all sniffling into their handkerchiefs, but Malik only stood and watched how the two mahogany coffins were slowly swallowed by the earth and vanished from the face of the world.

He did not want to remain a second longer at this place, but it seemed to be bad manners when the first born son and only family member here would simply vanish just like this whole ordeal would interest him even in the slightest. Nonetheless, his legs were trembling with energy. He wanted to run as fast and as far away as he could. Malik always had this talent of self-control, because his parents taught him that it was necessary to control oneself - and who would he be if he would lose control now, standing in front of their graves and trample what they had told him?

A large hand grabbed his right shoulder, but Malik did not even want to waste the energy of turning his head to see who it was this time because this very gesture was repeating itself now over and over again since the procession had finally found its end right here at the cemetery. Surely, it was some friend of his late father. Malik found it to be quite odd, that his parents had been so popular with all those people around him, while he himself had always had troubles to find and preserve any kind of friendship. Maybe it was because of his frowning face or his grumpy attire. Well … this was simply how his face looked; he could do nothing about it! Most people would simply shy away from him or they would become wary if he ever tried to smile, so he just didn't.

At some point, there finally was that moment, when the first crumbs of earth would be thrown at the coffins and it was his honor to be the first in line. He knew that, so he did it, even though he did not want to be here at all and he was simply grateful that the mourners slowly started to vanish and left him alone by the graves. Malik had not even bothered to listen to the farewells or those stupid reassuring phrases, that he would always be welcome if he ever needed help or someone to talk to.  Most of those people Malik did not even know.

And suddenly he regretted that he did not get back home more often when he still had the chance. The death of his parents had come too sudden for him to even process. He still thought about the way his mother had kissed him goodbye after she, his father and Kadar had come to visit him spontaneously just for his stupid birthday. He had thought about asking them if they would rather stay the night at his place. He would have slept on the couch together with Kadar just like in the old times because he had never liked it when his parents would have to drive so late in the night over the country roads. But he did not ask them. Wasn’t today the day he should've come home for dinner? His mother would've made his favorite meal and Kadar would have complained that she would never cook _his_ favorite meal and that she always would make such a fuss when her first born (her perfect son, as Kadar liked to refer him to) would come home. And then she would've made Malik stay the night because she did not like it when he would drive so late over the country roads.

The accident had happened in the middle of the city and not on any of his detested country roads in the rain like he would have expected it to play out. It was not clear until this day what had happened exactly that night. His father had tried to avoid to hit something on the street, the car had turned over - that was all he knew and that was all Malik had to live with because he knew it would never be cleared up. And Malik did not even know if he would want it to be cleared up. He had thought about the possibility that someone had run on the street and caused the accident or that some dog might have had run away, but then again Malik did not want to know and he did not want to name someone guilty. He did not want to risk that hate and anger would take the better of him and lead him to do something stupid. Revenge never helped anyone and it would be the last thing his parents would expect from him.

After the last mourners had left, Malik finally turned around and let his gaze trail over the cemetery. He never liked this place and now there was only just one more reason to avoid it. He thought about Kadar and was certain that they would visit this place often together as soon as the little guy would finally wake up again. He would do it for his little brother no matter how much he detested it.

Instinctively Malik's hand slipped into the pocket of his suit pants and pulled out his phone. No missed calls. The hospital would surely have tried to contact him if Kadar had woken up since he had left. They would, wouldn’t they? He was a little grateful that no one had called because Malik couldn’t stand it if he hadn't been there when his brother would wake up. He would be frightened and he wouldn’t know what was happening and he would search for his parents instantly. If something like that would happen, Malik had to be there to hold Kadar's hand and calm him.

In the moment, when he pushed back the phone into the pants of his black suit, he spotted a lean figure standing close to another grave. The person appeared to be a teenage boy. The boy had short nut-brown hair and wore an old, faded pair of jeans and a white hoodie. It wasn’t really the right clothing for a visit to the cemetery, but who was Malik to judge this guy? For just a moment he watched the young man who just stood there and looked down on the grave to his feet. Malik had often wondered what other people would do when they visited their loved ones. Would they talk to the tombstones or would they simply stand there like that boy did now? Did they all appear to be so utterly lost and helpless as this guy?

The boy pulled his hood up over his head even though it wasn’t raining and even though a hoodie like that was much too warm of a clothing article for this season of the year. Suddenly the boy turned his head and looked at Malik; the upper half of his face was hidden in the shadow of his hood. He had noticed him it seemed, but he had to, after how Malik had been staring at him. He saw how his lips moved, but then the teen turned and made his leave.

Malik did not even know why, but while he walked slowly towards the exit, he stopped at the grave the boy had visited. _Umar Ibn-La'Ahad_ was carved into the Stone.


	2. a perfect day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I don't understand why but the Pictures in this chapter won't be showed sometimes. please inform me if it happens again!

Altaїr's kisses were sloppy, uncoordinated, inexperienced and wet, but Malik did not mind while he pushed the teenager against the door of his apartment and roamed his large hands greedily over his sides. There was nothing romantic and nothing lovingly between the two of them or in the way they were touching. They nearly did not make it out of the elevator and into the hallway - although Malik did not like to ride the elevator - and it was a mere wonder that they managed to get through the door of his apartment without losing all of their clothes immediately. He never felt more alive in a long, long time like in that very moment with Altaїr. As soon as he had managed to close the door, Altaїr was in his face again and demanded his full and undivided attention. The boy might be inexperienced (the way he kissed and how nervous he had been the whole evening had revealed that very clearly), but that did not mean that he did not knew what he wanted or that he wouldn’t be greedy for affection and touching. Malik moaned against full lips when the half Syrian boy brought his knee between his legs and rubbed impatiently against the bulge in Malik's trousers.

Malik did not waste any second to think about anything at all, while he shoved his greedy hands under Altaїr's ass and picked the boy up in a swift motion like he wouldn’t weigh more than a feather. He felt Altaїr's long legs immediately wrapping around his hips. It wasn’t even a question to ever break the kiss and he knew Altaїr wouldn’t let him anyway. The boy could really be demanding when he wanted something. They did not even free themselves from each other when Altaїr's head nearly hit the doorframe to Malik's bedroom. Never had a body felt more perfect in Malik's hands and all of him only yearned for throwing the boy on his mattress and to take what he so desired since the start of this date. His brains had already shut down because otherwise Malik would've stopped and asked himself what he was doing with that kid right then and there. He was ten years older than that boy which he threw finally with a wide grin on his bed. It wasn’t right what he was doing, but then his eyes fell again on the teenager on his bed and suddenly Altaїr was exactly what he craved more than anything else in the world.

Jesus Christ … how could that happen?

 

* * *

 

 

Malik Al-Sayf was fucking furious. The day had welcomed him with chilliness and the first snow of that fucking year. The twenty seven year old man could've resigned the snow. Malik hated snow and he never understood what _people_ liked about the frozen water, not to mention that they would find snow _romantic_ or _beautiful._ There was nothing romantic or beautiful at all about snow. Snow arranged that idiots would have car crashes or that people would slip on frozen stairs and would break their necks. Snow was just a fucking murderer.

Just after he opened his eyes on that particular morning - a Monday, the fucking worst day of the whole week - his mood was already bad, as soon as he saw the little snowflakes dancing innocently and happily down from the sky in front of his window. Some of those stupid kids of his stupid neighbors would start building a fucking snowman at last by noon or they would begin a snowball fight and hit Malik on the head, who would certainly walk past them right in that moment.

He hated that god damn winter and from his point of view nothing good ever happened in this season of the year. With a deep and absolutely passionless growl Malik threw himself on the belly and pulled his blanket over his head. He wanted nothing more than just so stay right where he was now and to engage himself in winter sleep. Normally that wouldn’t be Malik's usual approach. He was no sluggard who would lay for hours and hours in his bed and Malik hated nothing with such a passion like those people, who couldn't get their stupid fat asses up from the sofa or the bed to make something with their lives. He loved his work and he loved his routine, but today was the first day (surely not the first day in the entirety of his life, but at least for a very long time) the thought crossed his mind, that he simply could take a sickie if he really wanted to stay in bed all day long. He was rarely ill, so no one would even dare to say something. He would've loved to say nobody would even notice if he wouldn’t be there, but Malik knew that this was simply not true. He was no faceless office worker who would sit in his cubicle all day long to do his stupid monotonous work. He wasn’t a muckety-muck either in the company he was working for, but at least he was important enough that he had to participate in that stupid meeting today so he couldn’t turn around in his bed one more time. He simply couldn’t.

Life was hard and it certainly did not look like it would get better soon.

His visit at the hospital yesterday evening hadn't made his winterly mood any better either. His growl became a low whine - a long absolutely agonized whine - when he finally managed to rid himself from the blanket (even if he would've loved to take his trusted blanket with him) and made his way towards the bathroom. His flat was a fucking freezer just because of his stupid habit to sleep with an open window all the time. He maybe should reconsider that habit now that winter was finally here and would torture him otherwise every morning.

His morning routine was nothing different from other people's and Kadar, his charming little brother, had said even two years ago - when Malik was still crispy twenty five years - that he had become an old fart already since he had graduated from college and lived alone in that apartment. Malik on the other hand loved this morning routine of his and the peace it gave him to collect his thoughts for the upcoming day. But he did not find his peace and calm on that particular morning after he had grabbed his newspaper - and yes, Kadar had laughed his ass of, because he thought only retirees would still read those in this current decade. It would've been the best if he would've thrown the newspaper immediately in the trash without even bothering to read it.

A brutal murder on a young man demanded the attention of the front page. >>The gruesome murder on Malik S., 24 years, occurred on the evening of Sunday the 30th November in front of his parent's house. Witnesses have stated that the man was first chased out of the house by his father, after he confessed being gay at a family gathering and became soon after the victim of his brothers vicious attacks. The young man later succumbed to his injuries on the way to the hospital…<<

Malik scrunched the paper up and threw it across the room into the bin next to his fridge. Reports like that weren't exactly a new thing, in fact this was an ongoing thing for decades and always would  be, because people were intolerant bastards and journalists would pick on stories like that, but this knowledge did not prevent his mood from getting worse. The article followed him on his way to work. He blamed it on the name of the victim, but still he caught himself - while he waited patiently behind the steering wheel of his car for the traffic light to switch back to green again - how he was trying to imagine in which way his parents would have reacted if he had told them. It weren't only Muslim families which reacted in such a way like the newspaper often stated (and certainly not all Muslim families would react like that if their kids would confess that they were gay) and he was very well aware that there were many examples from other religions and persuasions, but Malik knew that the people in the office would ask him about that article again.

It hadn't really been a secret in his family that he was gay, but he never told them either. There were strict rules in his parent's home, like the one that no girls were allowed to visit a pubescent and potentially dangerous teenage boy at home while the parents wouldn’t be there. So Malik did never felt the pressure of introducing a girlfriend to them at some point during his high school years. Other boys his age would've been devastated, but he felt relieved and when he left for college he hadn't have the need to hide anymore. In college it was simply normal when people were gay and they would accept it no matter what (although of course there were plenty exceptions which consisted mostly in dumb guys or rejected girls). Malik never felt freer then after he got into university, so it wasn’t really a surprise that he nearly would spent every summer close to the campus to work under some flimsy excuses, while in reality he stayed there so he could fool around with some guys so far away from home.

Today he felt sorry that he hadn't spent more time with his parents when he still had the chance. The car behind him honked at him and just then Malik realized that the traffic light had switched to green a few seconds ago. He held up his right hand in an apologetic gesture so the driver behind him could see it and drove one. But his train of thoughts never left him.

In the past he had spent days with thinking about every possible scenario how he could confess to his parents, after his little brother bugged him again and again about that matter. Kadar was the only member of his family who Malik entrusted with his secret and to his big surprise his annoying bratty little brother never held it against him or took advantage of his knowledge no matter how many good reasons he would've had to send Malik to his doom. The truth was that Malik simply had been afraid to tell them. His parents were very intelligent and highly educated people but as much as they were scientists just as much they loved and lived their chosen religion. They were strict people when it came to that topic although they never forced it upon their children. Malik knew what would happen to people like him in Syria or some other Islamic countries.

Would his parents just cast him out, when he would've confessed? Would they maybe threw rocks on him or pushed him down a high building? Kadar had been certain they would love him no matter what and that they probably had known his entire life, but he never found the strength to overcome his fears and tell them, although he knew Kadar was right. His parents had loved him dearly and they had loved Kadar just as much. They had spent every waking hour with their boys and invested time and money and all their love in them so they would flourish and be happy. But still … Nobody could live easily with fear in the back of his head and now Malik felt sorry for never telling them. Maybe this fear had been the reason why he never moved back into his hometown after he graduated from college. First he moved to Boston, but since he thought the city was too loud for him and because he found a job in Dorchester, he moved again. He was close enough to his hometown that his parents could reach him within an hour but far away enough so that they would know nothing about his _lifestyle_.

And yes, Malik had enjoyed his freedom. He had declined many of his parent's invitations for dinner just because he had thought it to be more important to find himself some hot guy in a shady bar. Today he wished for nothing more than for another invitation for some stupid family dinner back home so he could fight with Kadar and kick him under the table and so his mother could whine about how thin he was looking and that he wasn’t eating right and that his hair would need a cut again. And now he had nothing left, other than the visits in that dingy hospital room and to pour out his little stupid heart to a boy who probably couldn’t even hear him.

Malik blamed the winter for that kind of thoughts that wouldn’t let him escape anymore. Maybe he simply shouldn’t read any newspaper in this time of the year or maybe he should really consider a winter sleep. When he arrived at work the next bad news already awaited him. The coffee machine was broken and the meeting - the reason why he had left his snuggly warm bed in the first place - had been cancelled. It was already 11 AM when Malik couldn’t take it anymore, put on his coat and left the building. He was desperate for coffee and he would smoke right now, if he would be indeed a smoker, but his mother's strict parenting had been very much to impressive to even think about smoking or drinking - well at least in that moment now.

Against all the limitations and bans of a Muslim household Malik had used his time in college just like all the other teens there and there had been many mornings when he had woke up next to a guy which name he did not knew or how he had ended up there or if there had been anything he should be ashamed of. Well speaking of a guy…

Malik fished for his phone in the pocket of his coat and looked down at the display. One new message. A small grin lifted the corners of his mouth while he slowly began to walk. There was a small coffee shop at the end of the street which he had avoided until now because he detested those franchise companies and also because the shop did not seemed to be much frequented anyway. But today he was desperate and he needed this black gold if he wanted to survive the next hours of his workday. Malik would go straight to a meeting with some customer from there, so he already had his briefcase with him, but he wasn’t in a hurry while he strolled down the street and opened the message on his phone.

**> >Hey sorry Malik. Something has cropped up. My grandma**

**is in the hospital. She has something with her stomach I think, Mom**

**wouldn’t tell me what it is … Well anyway we can't see each other**

**tonight. I promise I will make up for this -.^ <<**

_Yeah sure you're grandma is ill. It seems you've forgotten that your sweet grandma died already 3 times within the last three months, right Alex?_ Malik thought bitter when he looked down at the message and tried to figure out if he should reply to that or if it would be better to just spare them both the embarrassment and go on with his life. He knew Alex from the internet, more precisely from some single side (www.romeoxromeo.com). Hard to believe, but yes, Malik Al-Sayf was registered to a website for desperate faggots. In fact he was for two years now and had nearly forgotten about it after he did for a while what every guy on those sites would do (searching opportunities for fast and uncomplicated sex) and then dropped it until Alex messaged him five months ago.

He had been the first guy in ages who had grabbed Malik's honest interest after the death of his parents. After the night of their deaths Malik did not felt the need for interpersonal relationships or sex and then, after a few months had passed he had gone out and slept with everything that came into his way just to numb the loss and mute the thoughts about his parents and his beloved little brother. Sooner or later he decided that even fast casual sex could do nothing to help him to getting over that and he decided to make his leave from the stage.

He and Alex chatted now since that very first message five months ago. First they only reduced their contact to the website, but then they decided to left the page behind and began skyping and messaging each other and even if Malik had met the younger man a dozen times already via video chat, they never really met in person. Every time when Malik had asked him for a date, Alex had first been exited like a little child and every time he had chickened out on him with some flimsy excuse. At first he had told him he was to shy, and then it was the work because of which he couldn’t see Malik and the next time it had been his grandma who died. Malik had believed every little excuse and spent hours in soothing Alex after the death of his beloved grandma Hattie. But after grandma Hattie died again the next month and another time the month after that, Malik had to admit that the boy was lying to him. Malik did not even bother anymore to ask for his reasons and no matter how angry he was that Alex ran out on him again this evening, he shoved his phone back into his pocket with a low growl.

He had enough of this bullshit.

He was twenty seven fucking years old and he had enough of fooling around or playing games with some stupid kid on the internet. Chances were good that Alex wasn’t even the age he had told Malik and so it would be probably for the better if Malik would simply break the contact to the guy at all. He did not even want to think about the possibility of having contact to a minor all that time and that he could go to jail because of it should anyone ever find their chat protocols.

The coffee shop - his targeted goal at the moment - was already in reaching distance when his Handy made a little _pling_ again and brought Malik to a stop. He cursed over his own stupidity but he simply couldn’t stop himself from getting his phone again to read Alex' next message.

**> >Look I'm really sorry Mal. I feel really bad about running**

**out on you again. Surely you think that I don’t even wanna**

**meet you, but I do! I really do! I can't wait to see you for real**

**already and make up for all this. But my mom will have my ass**

**when I'm not visiting Grandma Hattie in the hospital! Who knows**

**how long the old lady will be with us anymore! <<**

_> >Yeah well, you're right Alex. You should cherish your_

_family and spent as much time as you possibly could_

_with them. Especially if you would consider how many_

_times poor grandma Hattie already has left the_

_face of the world, just to rise again from the dead_

_in the last couple of month. An old lady like her_

_surely can't take such stress_

_as good as we youngsters. <<_

 

Malik did not even bother to wait for an answer of the younger man, because he surely did not expect one within the next few seconds, so he turned his phone mute - _Fuck_ it was already ten past eleven and his appointment was at 11:20 AM! - and shoved it back down into his pocket. There was this tender feeling of satisfaction creeping up inside of him for answering Alex like that, but it couldn’t lessen his anger towards the guy. Malik was no idiot and he did not like playing one or getting lied to, but he had allowed Alex all those past months to do exactly that.

A little more rough then necessary he pushed open the door of the coffee shop by the end of the street and the small ringing of the bell over his head told him that this would be the first and the last time he set foot into that shop. There simply was no more annoying sound in the world then a bell ringing over a door.

At least he had the full and undivided attention of the girl behind the counter after the bells had announced his presence. _Amy_ said the small nametag on her green apron and her hair was dyed in a bright pink. She looked too old to be a teenager and was too far away from campus to be a student who would work between classes.

"Welcome in _Creed's Café_ how can I help you?" Her voice was just friendly enough to cover up her boredom and her chronicle aversion towards this job. Malik couldn’t hold it against her, because if it would be he who would be stuck in a place like that he sure as hell would also have his problems to appear friendly and cheerfully. There were at least three other employees standing around. One appeared to be cleaning the tables to deflect himself from his boredom and another just leant at the counter and was browsing his phone, the third stood behind the coffee machine eager to work.

With a small frown on his face he ordered his coffee and paid the girl after she asked him the obligatory and very annoying questions if he liked a _shot_ of some sort in his coffee or if he would like to have something to eat with the coffee. After that Malik could finally flee towards the end of the counter were he would get his coffee. While he waited he had more than enough time to watch the young man behind the coffee machine who made his order. He was pale and looked like he hadn't slept in weeks so dark were the rings under his eyes. He was tall, but not taller than the average or even taller than Malik, but his lanky figure let him appear to be taller than he actually was.

While he watched how the guy pulled some levers on that machine and how the machine itself blew steam into his face, Malik noticed the slight trembling of his long fingers. He couldn’t tell the reason for this tremor but it did not interest him all that much either because his thoughts had already wandered back to Alex. His phone might be mute in his pocket, but it vibrated therefore in that moment when he got the first new message. And another. And another. A small part of Malik wanted nothing more than to look what he was writing now, but he controlled himself and tried to ignore the vibrating phone when the young man tried to give the coffee to him.

Malik did not know if it had been the fault of the barista and his obviously trouble to focus and concentrate or if it was the fault of his again vibrating phone which let him flinch, but no matter whose fault it was the cup tilted and the boiling hot liquid spilled over his outstretched hand and sleeve. "What the fuck is wrong with you stupid idiot?!" Malik barked and noticed immediately the look _Amy_ and the other employees flashed him, while the barista thrust a bunch paper towels at him and seemed ready to towel Malik himself while he rambled apology after apology and tried to calm Malik down with the promise of a new coffee.

"No need thanks." Malik spat angry. Not by any stretch of the imagination Malik could say why the whole world tried to drive him mad on that particular day. All that was left was that a bird would crap on his head to make the day perfect.

"Don't worry, Sir. It's on the house. I am really sorry, Sir." The young barista assured him again and while Malik had been busy toweling his hand and sleeve he hadn't even noticed that the boy ignored his words and already made a new cup for him. Fuck, this guy was fast as a lightning bolt! The cup he got this time was extra-large and was given to him extremely carefully and already closed with a plastic cap. Malik was certain everyone else would be happy to get more than he actually paid for just because some stupid kid couldn’t do his job right, but Malik was not like that. One of the rules in his parent's home - other than the _no girls_ rule - had been that he (and later Kadar as well) had to work for his pocket money. Malik knew what it meant standing on the other side of that fucking counter and that this new coffee would be divided from the boy's loan. There was a small part in Malik which felt sorry for the guy, but he did not let his face show any kind of emotion.

For just a little moment their eyes met when Malik took the cup without thanking him or any other kind word. His eyes remained maybe a little bit too long on those of the boy in front of him. They had the color of amber - some would say gold, but Malik was certain amber was more correct. Very unusual. It was impossible to tell how old the boy in front of him really was. He could be just sixteen but he could as well be already twenty-one, his juvenile face did not tell. He looked thin and Malik was sure that the boy wouldn’t be able to save himself from the attention of women and men if he would gain a little more weight. On the other hand … Teenagers today all had that really weird extreme skinny idea of beauty and that boy was possibly exactly as thin as the magazines told him he had to be.

Normally Malik wasn’t really interested in strangers in some coffee shop at the corner of a street, while he should do more important stuff then wondering about those strangers, but nonetheless Malik was captivated by staring at that face in front of him and wasn’t even able to say why. His eyes shifted to the silly band-aid with the dragon pattern that cover the right corner of the boy's mouth and then he looked at another of those band-aids on the bridge of his nose until he shifted his gaze towards the big bruise on his sharply cut cheekbone and noticed then the ugly scrape on his right temple. The guy looked like someone had dragged him with his face over the asphalt and the pattern of the band-aid told Malik that he either had a little brother who had fun in treating his brother's wounds or that he himself was still a child who just liked dragons and colorful band-aids for children.

Malik felt like he stood and watched the guy for hours like the boy was the eighth wonder of the world, until he finally remembered his appointment and grabbed the coffee a little more rough than necessary from the kids hand and left the shop as fast as he possibly could. He was not more than a few feet away from the shop, his steaming hot coffee (although the cap held the steam back) in one hand and in the other his briefcase, when he heard above him the curr of a dove and felt just a split second later the splash of something white on his right shoulder. The cup slid from his fingers in shock, fell to the ground and the black gold spilled all over the pavement. All in him - really all that was still human in him - refused to turn his head and to look at the splotch on his shoulder, but Malik did it anyway. He really shouldn’t have left the bed today.

 

* * *

 

 

With a mug of freshly brewed and scalding hot coffee Malik sat on a uncomfortable plastic chair in the hospital room his brother stayed in and had no other choice than to notice again that it either was extreme beneficial to be the only guest of a comatose patient or that the head nurse liked him a little bit too much. When he thought about that nurse and remembered that she was already sixty two years old (which she told him some time ago) he really hoped that his benefits came from being the only guest that was visiting his baby brother Kadar - the boy with the angel's face like the nurses said. But oh well, even if that old woman would fancy him, he still got his freshly brewed and delicious free coffee - not the coffee from the machine in the waiting area but the good stuff from the nursed office.

His gaze rested on his brother's sleeping face just for a moment and he did not even know what he was doing right now right here. Well, that was indeed a lie. He knew exactly what he was doing here right now. In fact he shouldn't even be here on that particular evening, because right about - he looked at the golden watch on his left wrist, a present from his late dad for graduating college a few years ago – now he should be sitting in some overly expensive Italian restaurant to flirt shamelessly with his date and act like neither of them would already knew that this date would end in (hopefully wild and dirty) sex. Instead he now sat here in the hospital just like he did the evening before and starred at his brother's face like he still thought he could wake him up like that.

When they were children Malik did exactly that. He had been already sixteen years old, when Kadar was born but he still stood in front of his little cradle and stared so long at his baby brother that Kadar would eventually wake up and cry. Because he was a good big brother it had been Malik's noble duty to soothe his beloved sweet brother when he would cry and so every time he picked him up from his cradle and hold him in his arms until the little one finally would stop crying and would went back to sleep. At one point his mother had given up on Malik, after he told her one excuse for cradling Kadar after another and eventually she did not even cared much about Malik's protests that he hadn't tried to wake him up or even bothered commenting on that. Later Kadar had grown used to Malik's starring and developed a really deep sleep. One day his mother would ran panicked through the house because Kadar had slept nearly twenty four hours straight which lead her to believe that he was dead.

In the beginning, shortly after the accident, Malik thought that Kadar simply slept really deeply again and that he would eventually wake up in a few days. But he hadn't woken up and now it was nearly two years. It made him sick to sit here and could do nothing. Not even starring at his little brother helped anymore to wake him from his slumber and he knew the doctors thought that it would be very unlikely that he would wake up ever again. Well … even if he would wake up again, how much would've been left from his baby brother anymore? He did not even want to fathom what awaited him, if Kadar would finally open his big blue eyes again.

He would lie if he would say there hadn't been moments when he sat here and asked himself if it wouldn’t be for the better when Kadar hadn't survived the accident at all. It was horrible to even think about something like that, but he did not even want to imagine what was in store for Kadar when he would wake up someday. Maybe it would've been better if he had died in that car crash, maybe he only would suffer when he would come back to life and maybe he was already suffering right now and couldn’t tell anyone.

What a horrible, horrible idea to be trapped inside your own body and could do nothing about it. Maybe he could hear everything Malik and the doctors said; maybe he felt everything that was happening to and around him. Malik often tried to imagine that he was maybe floating over his own body and could even see everything but wasn’t able to find a way back inside this machine that was his body. The next time Malik took a sip of his coffee the liquid was already cold and next to him on the small bedside table his phone was vibrating again. With a heavy sigh Malik took a look on the many, many messaged of his … well, he did not even know what Alex was for him. Was he his boyfriend? Well it definitely felt this way within the last few months, even though they never met in

person. It was way too early to even think about _love_ , but god damn it! He had fallen for that guy and he couldn’t deny it. And now he sat here and felt like a stupid sixteen year old teenager just because some kid tried to fuck with him.

**> >Okay look you caught me. I'm really sorry that **

**I've lied to you, Malik, you didn’t deserve that.**

**I didn’t want to chicken out again but there really**

**was something important that I had to do and I didn’t**

**know how to say it. <<**

**> >Well okay I get that I shouldn’t have lied to you and**

**that I should've simply been more honest with you. I can**

**understand that you are angry with me right now. And**

**you are right to be angry! I mean you have all the right**

**reasons for being angry, but I swear I didn’t try to hurt you**

**in any way, Malik! I will make up for it when you just would**

**give me another chance to proof it. <<**

**> >I can understand if you are done with me.<<**

**> >Fuck okay! Look I am really really reeeeeeaaaaaaaly **

**sorry! I've fucked up! Let me make up for it, Malik. I really want**

**to meet you! I am just a little bit shy you know … and I'm**

**afraid that you won't like me when you would meet me in person. <<**

**> >Malik for Christ's sake! I am begging you like a sissy! **

**The least you could do is answering me you asshole! <<**

**> >Sorry.<<**

**> >Malik.<<**

**> >Hey.<<**

**> >Forgive me?<<**

Malik couldn’t help but stare down at those stupid little messages like he could change something about them just by looking at them but they did not change and he still couldn’t bring himself to answer them in any way at all. He was fed up with all that crap. He was fed up with writing stupid messages to a boy he never really met or knew. He was tired of hiding behind a computer screen. They were adults, for fuck's sake - well at least **he** was an adult. He did not think much about it when he finally hit call and leant back in his chair. It rang one-two-three times until Alex finally accepted the call, but Malik did not even give him the chance to say anything at all.

"Yeah you're right, Alex, I'm extremely pissed at you right now. And you are also right that I have enough of that childish bullshit of yours or your fucking excuses for not meeting me. You get exactly five minutes to tell me why you think it's okay to lie to me like you did, you should use them well, but I don’t guarantee you that I will forgive you." Malik grumbled into his phone and crossed his arms in front of his chest (well he crossed _one_ arm, because he held the phone with his left hand although he knew he shouldn’t use the phone inside the hospital).

Kadar's presence gave him the calmness he needed for that conversation with Alex. Malik wasn’t a guy who lets himself get fucked or who would fall for some stupid kid on the internet, but a small part of him just yearned for someone that would stay by his side, so he knew the chances were high he would gave in again, if Kadar wouldn’t be by his side right now. He tried to remember how his annoying little brother would always scrutinize whatever Malik did. That was exactly what Malik needed right now right here. Kadar would've asked him a long time ago why Malik was putting up with that shit of that guy from the internet for so long. And he was right. He couldn’t even recognize himself anymore! That was nothing like him at all.

There was silence on the other end of the phone, then a deep defeated sigh.

"Okay look, I am not really twenty two like I said in the beginning. I just thought when I would write in my profile that I am already twenty two it would be much easier to find a decent and experienced guy and not just some stupid idiot that don’t know what they are doing." Alex finally began and Malik could only lift his brows on that.

"How old are you really?" He then growled. So he was right at least. The boy had lied about his age.

"You said you would give me five minutes, so let me talk, okay?" Alex wasn’t a shy guy and that was what Malik liked about him in the first place. He said what he was thinking and what he wanted - at least that he did when they would chat. Malik could imagine himself already in cuffs for all that dirty talk via SMS and for those one or two occasions when they had phone sex. Fuck. Next time he would demand seeing a fucking ID! No he wouldn’t, because there would be no next time. He would delete his account on that fucking page immediately. "So … you now … My parents are extremely conservative and really reaaaaaally strict Catholic's, I told you that before. But I did not tell you that I am still living at home with them, so it isn't exactly easy for me to meet some guy that I met online! My parents would kill me immediately if they would find out that I am gay. That is the worst possible thing that could happen in my family, Malik! I once had that Uncle Bob. After it came out that he was gay and liked wearing women's stockings sometimes I've never seen him again!"

"Alex, just get to the point already." He couldn’t stand his rambling anymore, although he had found it cute in the past when Alex would ramble on for hours and hours about nothing at all. He was bubbly and energetic and nothing like Malik at all.

"Okay, okay, got it! Sorry. So to tell you the truth, I am just sixteen years old and also I already have a boyfriend for a couple of months now. I just went on that website to meet someone that is older and more experienced than he is, because it isn't going all too well with my boyfriend and-"

Malik hung up without bothering himself any second longer to hear that bullshit. _Sixteen_. Fucking sixteen! His blood ran cold when he thought about all those things he had written in the past. Fuck. Again his phone was vibrating. Incoming call from Alex, but Malik declined the call and deleted Alex contacts and blocked him on every platform they used together. All that just within a few seconds.

It seemed that his day finally was perfect.


	3. call me maybe

His mother's scent still lingered in the air just like his brother's laugh, when he had caught Malik with his reading glassed on his nose, just after he invaded his flat like he owned that place. Malik stared outside his window down at the street and did not even know why. His family had left a while ago already – well at least it felt that way – but this sick feeling in his stomach was now worse than ever before. He did not like it when they would drive in the middle of the night just because they visited him, although it wasn’t even that late. It was ten past ten and the night held Dorchester dark and gloomy in its tight grip and Malik felt comfortably tired and exhausted after his visitors left. Actually he had planned on going out for drinks in some shady bar after work so that no one would bother him with celebrating his birthday because no one would care enough for him, but then his parents and his brother had arrived unannounced at his doorstep not soon after he had come back home from his workday.

His mother knew him all too well so she did bake his favorite cake because she knew her first born child wouldn’t celebrate by himself. She even cooked his favorite meal and brought everything that a good birthday dinner would include (Christ she even made Baklava! Enough that he could take it with him to work on Monday, like it was tradition). The leftovers were already in his fridge and ready to be devoured by him within the next couple of days. He liked to cook and he was a good cook too, but there was nothing in the world as good as his mother's cooking. Kadar war a little bit jealous every time she would make such a fuss about her oldest son when Malik would visit them or when they would visit him, but Malik knew his brother wasn’t really serious in his jealousy and that he did not hold a grudge against Malik, because Kadar missed his big brother at least just as much as his parents did.

Even if there were sixteen years laying between them and even if Malik left for college a year after his baby brother was born, they were really close with each other and Malik always tried everything that lied in his powers so that he wouldn’t miss anything of Kadar's growth (although he spent most summers close to his college). Every time he would come home from college his brother would nearly explode with joy to see him again and Malik never had much time to spend with his parents because his little bratty brother had demanded so much attention from his big brother. Now they would skype on a regular basis (although Malik did not like the idea of a nine year old child sitting behind a computer screen skyping with anyone at all. Kadar was naïve enough to chat with random strangers and to get himself in any kind of dangerous situation). Sometimes Malik regretted not living closer to his parent's home and sometimes he would catch himself searching for job advertisements near his hometown, but then again he remembered why he was living in Dorchester and stopped those searches again.

Nonetheless he would like to spent more time with his little brother, but Kadar had this talent to annoy him with messages via phone or internet whenever he needed his big brothers advise (and he needed that a lot, for example every time a girl in class would smile at him or every time he would get a bad mark in school or when something was wrong with his computer or when their mother would cook something he did not like…). Kadar knew no shame at all and it was good like that. He could be annoying at times but Malik would rather have an annoying little brother who felt like he _had the right to_ annoy his big brother like that instead of a little guy who wouldn’t dare to get close to him or would be shy away from him. Malik never told his parents, but he had wished for a little brother to care for and to protect his whole life, but his parent's had other plans and he just had to accept it. You can imagine how big first his shock and then his joy were when his mother announced her pregnancy.

He had been a little bit angry, when his family surprised him that afternoon with that spontaneous visit just after his mother had pressed the promise from him that he would visit them tomorrow to celebrate his birthday yesterday evening. He did not like surprises at all and he didn’t like it all the more when someone would surprise him like that without even caring about the possibility that he could've made plans for that evening already. But then again he had been glad, that they came just because of his stupid birthday. It was way better having his family around then hitting on guys in some shady bar, other than that he was now too old for something like that, wasn’t he? Now he was twenty fucking five years of age and he should know better than fooling around with other men.

But why was fooling around with other men than so much more tempting than settling down?

His mother wouldn’t be proud of him, when she would knew what he did all the time and how he behaved towards those men, but on the other hand men were much more easy going with casual sex than women were. If he wouldn’t be gay he would surely feel guilty if he would treat women just like he treated men (although he simply wouldn’t treat them the same way and surely would’ve settled down already). But the guys that would roam those bars Malik liked to visit knew exactly what they were dealing with, so why should he be rueful in anyway?

Someday he would tell his parents that he was gay, Malik knew that for sure, because nothing was worse than living with a lie like that. His parents trusted him that he would make them proud after all they had given him and after all the time, money, love and effort they invested in raising him to be a good man (and someday a good husband and father). They did not deserve that Malik would lie to them any longer and would hide from them who he really was. But how do you confess something like that to your parents? He couldn’t just blurt it out when they would sit down for family dinner next week between main course and dessert like he just got promoted! Right? How did other people do that? Well maybe he should just say it like it was.

"Mum, Dad, I'm gay." Malik mumbled against his window and watched how his hot and moist breath fogged the glass, before he finally turned around again to walk towards his bedroom. It was about time for him to sleep, although other people his age would now go out for party and maybe that was what he should be doing, but he did not.

He couldn’t rid himself from those thoughts, even when he already lied in his comfortable, soft bed in his cuddly cocoon of warm blankets. He knew he couldn’t go on like that and that his parents simply deserved the truth and that Kadar did not deserve to have to act like he did not know anything about all that any longer, just because his big brother was just a sissy with no guts to tell his parents straight that he liked to fuck other guys. What was the worst thing that could happen? Oh yeah … well … Malik knew the Qur'an and the general opinion towards homosexuality in Islam, but he also knew his parents. They were much too rational to stone him to death or to push him down a skyscraper – at least that was what Malik liked to think. Normally his parents would never harm their boys in anyway (although Malik got himself slapped one or two times in the past because something stupid he did) but that wasn’t a normal situation and certainly nothing his parents would expect from their precious oldest son. Their _perfect_ oldest son.

What if his parents would show him a whole new side of their personalities after he would confront them with his homosexuality and what if he wouldn’t like that new side of their personalities? He just wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk that. Maybe it was for the better living in his personal little bubble forever in which his parents would still love him, in which his mother would still cook and bake for him and in which Malik wouldn’t introduce any woman to them because that _poor boy_ was working way too hard to have time meeting women.

After he had felt exhausted and tired a few minutes ago he now was fully awake and his brain fully lit with the blinking lights like a carnival at night, so he could do nothing more than rolling on his stomach and tried to blend out all those thoughts in his head. It was thoughts like that which would rob him off the sleep he needed so desperately and that would change his beautiful birthday into a living nightmare in his head.

He would confess to them for sure, when he would see them next time.

 

* * *

 

 

Malik Al-Sayf was a man without many secrets whatsoever. He was gay and the most people he knew and which would care enough about him to find interest in his personal life knew that about him. He had money – that was also a thing most people knew although he did not like to speak about it or would throw all his money out the window – his parents were dead and his brother was comatose for nearly two years after the accident that killed his parents. All that were things people simply knew about him, that was just how things were. What people did not know about him was that this grumpy man of Syrian heritage that goes by the name of Malik Al-Sayf was in fact lonely and had the same needs like every other human being.

Maybe that longing was the real reason why he put up with all that crap Alex let him gone through over the past few months even if he had known all the time that this guy was fooling him. He was long tired of loose contacts and casual sex. He was lonely (although it took some time for Malik to admit it) and he was ready to settle down with someone. He wanted nothing more than someone to lean on when he was overwhelmed by his mourning over the loss of his parents and Kadar and he wanted someone where he could find a safe haven. Someone he could rely on no matter what and who would go every path with him no matter how hard the road ahead may be. He wanted someone who he could fight and bicker with and with whom he could make up afterwards and who was worth the effort and sleepless nights. He did not want some stupid boy for a boyfriend who just wanted to have fun and his money and who would take to his heels if Kadar should wake up again someday and when Malik needed to work with him or care for his little brother. He did not want anyone who wasn’t ready to share him if necessary and who would feel neglected as soon as Malik would spend a little more time with his brother than him. He did not want someone who would make him face the choice of _him or me?_

But it seemed that there was no one like that for him in the whole wide world. On the other hand, you couldn’t attest Malik that he would actively search for someone like that. He was lonely and yearning for love and attention, but he did not do anything to get exactly that, instead he just followed blindly his daily routine, declined politely the attempts of flirting from the new colleague at his office and did what he would do every day.

Well that wasn’t exactly true either. Malik didn’t know why, but that Monday morning he found himself again in front of the coffee shop by the end of the road just like he did every day for the past week, after he first set foot into the store last Monday and vowed to never come back again. Normally that wasn’t like him at all. Malik was someone who thought absolutely everything through and wouldn’t do anything he wasn’t one hundred percent sure of. He did not like risks or thrill and he liked to know exactly what awaited him. But now Malik had no fucking clue what he was doing when he finally entered the shop. The coffee machine at the office was working again but he was here nonetheless to get his coffee like he did during that last week punctually on that same time again and again, just like he was drawn magnetically towards that place.

He came back to this place every fucking day and would complain about the horrible coffee – which in reality tasted absolutely delicious (but not that one time when Amy made his coffee after Malik had told her the young man behind the machine should rather take care of the cash register, which had been a huge mistake considering the quality of that mixture Amy made). Malik did not really know anyway why he was complaining – mostly about that barista with those amber eyes - every time he would enter _Creed's Café_ , he simply did. Sometimes he would only come to the coffee shop to annoy that poor bastard with something like _"I'm surprised business is still going with you around."_. This was simply part of his new daily routine and it wasn’t to be changed again!

The young man from the first day he had set foot into that establishment was alone in the shop and scrolled through the pages of a book. Malik had caught him before reading during his work and the titles of those books the boy read sure were nothing that normal teenagers would even bother reading. He was a little bit impressed when he spotted the guy one day reading _a brief history of time_ and was certain afterwards that he must be a student. Then again, just like Amy, he was way too far away from Boston University to be working between classes. This guy was an enigma to him.

"Salam aleikum." Malik mumbled after he was sure that they were indeed alone in the shop. During his last visits he had managed to get a look on that nametag on the green apron of the boy. _Altaїr_. An interesting name, but the boy lifted his gaze from the book (it seemed he hadn’t heard the bell ringing over the door when Malik entered because he was so engrossed in his reading) just to look a little bit irritated at Malik just like he didn’t know what to do with that greeting, before he finally cleared his throat and shoved the book to the side, H. G. Wells _The War of the Worlds_.

"Aleikum salam…?" the boy finally replied uncertain and the big question mark hung between them in the air of the room. Malik was certain by now (after he spend more time thinking about that guy within that last days then he even cared to admit) that he had to have some kind of Arabic roots. His face and his sun kissed skin – although he was a little bit paler from the winter and the lack of sunlight now than he most certainly would be in summer – the form of his eyes and the form of his cheekbones and of course his name revealed his heritage. Tough it seemed he did not know what to do with that language. Probably he was born in America and probably just one of his parents wasn’t American. Yeah well … Malik thought way too much about that boy which was a huge warning signal for loneliness or the threat of insanity.

This time it was Malik who cleared his throat to disrupt the awkward silence that lingered between them like an illness, while he kept staring at those damned eyes. What was it about that guy that Malik felt the need to come to that place every fucking day and to harass him?! At least he had gone rid of that silly Band-Aid which he wore over the right corner of his mouth during the last week. His full lips were disfigured from a nasty and impressively deep cut which gone through upper and bottom lip. It surely would leave a scar.

"The usual." Malik finally remembered why he had come here in the first place (yes for the coffee and not for that smug faced idiot behind the counter dear god!). He saw how the boy in front of him lifted just slightly the corners of his mouth to a small smirk. Altaїr grabbed the cup to his left and a black felt-tip and looked at him challenging.

"What name may I write on that cup?" Altaїr grinned and if Malik wouldn't knew better he would say the guy was flirting with him because of the way he asked that question – again. Malik's gaze shifted again to that stupid grin on the man's face and then to his eyes that sparkled with mischief. _Oh you little fucker! You really are flirting with me!_ Or was he getting insane? He started to behave weirdly … he should probably consider going out again. Maybe he could even bring Rauf with him. The guy wasn’t gay but he was a good wingman and he wasn’t afraid of going into gay bars with him.

"Make me my god damn coffee, Novice." Malik rumbled finally and crossed his arms in front of his chest after he had put down his money onto the counter between them. Altaїr pouted, but then he laid the felt-tip to the side again and turned to make Malik's order, while he kept standing where he was. "Malik." He then added and noticed how – over the coffee machine - Altaїr flashed him a little curious look.

Malik had been right with his very first guess, that Altaїr must've had a little brother because of those childish Band-Aids he was wearing when he was wounded. He really had a little brother and every time Malik saw him – so every fucking day in that coffee shop – the boy had another wound that let Malik's blood boil. He really did not know much about that boy other than his name and that he had a big mouth and that he made him the wrong coffee on purpose sometimes (was Altaїr trying to lure him back into the shop with those little _mistakes_ or was he trying to get more money out of him, after Malik declined to let that boy pay for his own mistakes?) and now he knew in addition to all this that he had a little brother.

It had been just a coincidence, that Malik had spotted the barista that noon. He had gone off from work sooner than normally because the heating was broken and the weekend already knocked at the door of the office. Now he was in that part of Dorchester which he normally avoided (like everyone who did not need to be here). Rauf had called and begged him to visit him so Malik did and because he wouldn’t find a parking spot close to his friends flat he would park like every time on the parking lot of a nearby supermarket to walk the rest of the way.

It seemed his efforts should be rewarded – even though Malik did not know exactly why he thought of spotting Altaїr in the wild as a reward. He stood for a moment at the corner of the supermarket when he spotted the young man. First he wasn’t sure that it was indeed Altaїr, but then he could see the wound on his mouth and that particular smirk. The boy which walked by Altaїr's right hand, while the older boy hold the little backpack with his other hand was even from afar the spitting image of Altaїr himself. The kid was too old to be Altaїr's child and Altaїr definitely was too young to be a father already. The boy was just a little bit smaller then Kadar, it was most likely that he was in elementary school right now. But on the other hand, he still couldn’t figure out how old Altaїr was, so it was possible that he was one of those teen-dads. But something about that image still did not fit with his image of Altaїr. It was the first time he saw Altaїr laughing and not only grinning when the little boy said something to him with the most serious expression a small child could muster.

Malik liked the sound and the sight that laughter provided him with. For fuck's sake. It really was about time that he should go for a night in the town again. He looked after the assumed brothers and watched how they stopped at the corner of the street, when Altaїr pushed the hat on this boy's head deeper and over his little ears in a caring way. The boy pouted at his big brother, but Altaїr only pinched his nose before he gave him a tissue for his probably running nose. Then he grabbed again the hand of the child and continued his way. They made an interesting impression and the longer Malik starred at them (he would never admit that he indeed was starring), the more he thought that the little boy looked more like a shrunken version of Altaїr and the more he felt how his curiosity was growing.

But there was something else about those two. Now that he only could see them from behind he couldn’t help but think about Kadar and himself. Every time he would have the chance of picking him up from school or kindergarten when he was visiting his family they would’ve walked home just like that, hand in hand. Kadar had been always furious and embarrassed when he would grab his hand and he always whined that he couldn’t be seen holding his brother's hand, but he never fought him and he never tried getting rid of Malik's big hand, no, quite the contrary. Kadar would often grab his hand tighter, when Malik would tease him with letting go of his small fingers. Malik had loved that moments and he was envious for Altaїr. Malik had loved being a big brother and there was nothing in this world he wanted to be more again.

"Christ Malik since when are you so shy?" Rauf sighed heavily when he let himself slump back on his sofa a bottle of beer in his hand, while Malik still looked through those documents he was here for. A little choked he looked up from the papers in his hands and pushed with one finger his glasses up his nose before he could even furrow his brows. "That doesn’t sound at all like you! If we were still in college you would've already fucked that guy and would go on with your life."

"What?" He murmured and Rauf just made some motion with his hand, some gesture that didn’t say anything at all.

"Oh don’t act like you don’t know what I mean, Malik! For two weeks now you just ramble on and on about that guy from the coffee shop! Why don’t you just ask him out or something?"

Slowly, very slowly Malik laid the documents back on the table before he folded his arms in front of him. "I don’t ramble about _that guy from the coffee shop_ and even if I would I would do it just because I should’ve already complaint about him to his manager." With a low growl Malik slumped down next to his old college buddy and crossed his arms behind his head to make himself more comfortable. Malik did not have many friends but Rauf was definitely one he could count on every time and who Malik kept relatively up-to-date with about his personal life - well obviously a little too much. Had he really spoken that much about Altaїr in that recent time? Well on the other hand it wasn’t like Malik would update Rauf every single day so it must've been impressive when he in fact did speak about the stupid barista.

"Why should you? Because he makes you _the best fucking coffee in the world -_ to quote you - and because he flirts a little with you when he does?" Rauf grinned at him and Malik was tempted to punch his teeth in but the poor guy did not even had his hair anymore and looked much older than he really was, it would be unfair to punch his teeth out also. Rauf was one of those eternal bachelors who would live in a bad neighborhood like this but whose flat was a multimedia-dream, because he had more money he could possibly spent ever.

"He doesn’t flirt."

"You said he flirts with you."

"I said I _think_ he flirts with me."

Rauf moaned exasperated and sipped again on his beer. For that kind of conversation he surely had to be much more drunk than he was now. "Listen, Malik, we could go on like this and keep talking in circles, but I know for a fact that you find that guy pretty hot-"

"I don’t think he's _hot_ , Rauf, he interests me."

"Well then he just _interests_ you for all I care, but why don’t you ask him than for date? You wouldn’t waste any second back in college and just do it! Don’t be such a pussy!"

Malik was silent again. He couldn’t deny that Altaїr interests him more then he cared to admit but he still couldn’t grasp _why_ or _what_ it was about that guy and that would clearly drive him mad! After he had seen him just a few minutes ago on the street it was even harder _not_ thinking about him. A little voice inside his head was really glad that this _thing_ he had going on with Alex solved itself a little while ago, after the lies of that teenager had come out. Today Malik did not even know anymore what he had thought when he started talking to the guy. He had known right from the start that story with Alex wouldn’t have a happy ending. Alex was way to bubbly and they simply had nothing in common. Malik always thought him to be a little naïve for a twenty two year old guy and he found that very charming, but now that he knew that the boy was still a child it wasn’t charming at all.

And what if it would be the same with Altaїr? After all he knew Altaїr could be a dropout who worked with sixteen in some stupid coffee shop for any reason or he could be in fact the father of that kid from before and maybe he had a girlfriend waiting for him at home for whom he had to care for. "What if he says no?" He talked more to himself than to Rauf but that Question was so out of character for Malik Al-Sayf that he felt just a split second later Rauf's hand on his forehead feeling his temperature.

Malik knew that this was nothing like him but the truth was, he hadn't felt like that in a very long time. Sure he had been in love before (unlike everything people would say about him, he had no heart of stone) and he had have boyfriends before, but it never felt like it did now and Malik still couldn’t figure out what it was that he felt. He wasn’t _in love_ with Altaїr, he knew that but he hadn't been nearly as interested in Alex as he was now with that idiot with that stupid grin. Altaїr was just some dude in a coffee shop who would annoy him with saying something stupid or cheekily when they would be alone at the shop or who would fall every fucking day over the same cable that lied behind the counter on the floor and who just looked freaking hot (as a gay man he simply couldn’t deny that fact). And every time when Malik would notice a new injury on that face, like that black eye this morning, there was a monster in Malik's chest which would wake up again and growl like a beast. He wanted to know what was happening to the guy that he was always hurt or tired in some way. He wanted to know _who_ Altaїr was and what his story was. For fuck's sake he wanted to know the name of that kid from before and Altaїr's favorite color, he wanted to know what his favorite ice-cream flavor was and where he went to school and what name his favorite plush as a child had have! Yeah … it seemed it had hit Malik like a truck on the highway. He was doomed. But Malik blamed his current state of sexual frustration for his interest in that idiot and he knew that he would go out today and that he would find himself some guy to sleep with.

"Well if he says no you still can avoid going there if you are too embarrassed."

 

* * *

 

The following Monday morning brought one distinct hope that clung to Malik Al-fucking-Sayf's mind. He hoped desperately that he would be alone in the coffee shop with Altaїr because his coworkers would all take a sickie again, when he got there to order _the usual_. For just a short moment Malik stopped by the door, after he opened it and just saw Amy behind the counter. He made a face - not very subtle it seemed because Amy lifted one of her brows and the twin seemed eager to follow, but then she seemed to blame her new hair color (neon green) for his grimace. Malik surely had no problem whatsoever to turn and leave the coffee shop again, but then again he simply did not want to risk that this stupid girl would gossip about him to Altaїr. He did not want to be the _weird guy_ which he probably already was.

"Hey Amy, we don’t have enough cups and syrup-bottles anymore in the storage room, can you order some more? Oh … we also need cleanser … and this stuff for the dishwasher! And napkins! We _need_ napkins!"

Malik just opened his mouth to confront Amy with his order (because he was sure that Amy couldn’t remember that really distinct and complicated wish he always had for his very black coffee after two weeks), when that voice sounded from the staffroom. "Can't you do that yourself, Altaїr?" Amy yelled back without even acting like she would spare Malik any kind of attention. Customer service wasn’t exactly her main profession; Malik had noticed that already within the last two weeks. But it was the pronunciation of the name that let Malik cringe. He knew he couldn’t hold it against that girl and he was certain Altaїr had already heard enough of weird and horribly mispronunciations of his name, but it irritated Malik nonetheless. It wasn’t like he was going to stitch that name into his pillow, but he liked it. Nothing wrong with liking a name.

"You know that it will be delivered faster if a woman calls!" Altaїr then explained with a sigh when he finally came out of the staffroom, a black towel over his left shoulder. He stopped in his motion of binding his apron behind his back, when he spotted Malik standing in front of the counter. He noticed how Altaїr's gaze shifted towards the clock over the door in Malik's back and how he made a face that told _Oh, it's so late already!_. After that there was that smug smirk again on his face. That black eye he had on Friday was nearly healed; there was just a yellowish blotch under his eye now.

"Well what can I do for you, Sir?" Amy finally remembered her customer, but Altaїr stepped closer and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm going to take it from here and you go and call the warehouse, right?" Amy rolled her eyes, made a face and left the scene through the staffroom door. Just for that ugly grimace Malik would've raised hell on her normally but Altaїr remained friendly and calm (and a small part of Malik imagined that he was the reason therefore). "The usual?" The young man smirked at him even when his fingers where already on that machine to make the correct adjustments just before he scribbled Malik's name on the cup he were going to use. That boy had a terrible handwriting; Malik noticed that the very first time. The letters were messy and impatient and full with pent-up energy. His handwriting alone could tell Malik many things about that guy and even if the name _Malik_ wasn’t really readable he liked seeing how happy Altaїr seemed to be when he got the opportunity to scribble his name.

Altaїr was so fast in making his order that Malik couldn't pay him before the boy put the coffee down in front of him and that was exactly what Malik had hoped for. When he had stood outside the shop he had thought about how he would do this because there was nothing Malik hated more than not having planned what he was going to do. He planned his words carefully before he would speak every time and he planned every time how he would manage a situation before he would be in it so he would be prepared as good as someone possibly could be prepared for anything at all. He simply wasn’t good in being spontaneous especially not when his stomach decided to dance rumba inside his body when he was looking at another human being while he asked himself if that particular person felt the same way as him. But still, he wasn’t in love and he did not fall for Altaїr! He just liked it better having all planned out neatly, he felt more at ease when he was prepared.

He had been prepared all his life. His parents made it possible for him to plan out his entire life and until now his life had gone according to plan – well with the exception of that horrible accident of course. He had been the best of his year in school after hard work during his high school time, he had gone to his favorite college a few states away from his hometown and now he was working exactly like he had planned to.

Malik had decided that he wouldn’t say anything to Altaїr and that he wouldn’t just ask that boy for a date like Rauf had told him to and like he would have done in the past when someone had been interesting enough to not just fuck and leave. But in all honesty, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to date the guy. When it came to Altaїr, he wasn’t sure about anything at all. With Altaїr he liked to test the water he was wading into, when he gave him the money and with it a small piece of paper with his number, then he grabbed his cup, turned and left the coffee shop, his face just the grumpy poker face he always wore. It wasn’t like Malik was shy or _afraid_ of Altaїr's reaction, he would’ve liked to stay and see his face when he would understand that Malik had handed him his phone number (the universal sign for _call me baby_ ), but instead he left the café in an attempt to appear in no haste whatsoever.


	4. second chances

The world around him was a maelstrom of colors, smells and sounds. Malik couldn’t do much else than to sit on that ridiculously uncomfortable plastic chair surrounded by perfect strangers sipping at their stupid cups of coffee or browsing through their newspapers or typing on their stupid phones. He felt sick and he was sure that he had to throw up should any doctor come near him or his field of vision again. It must be the smell of the disinfectant which caused his current condition - he was certain - but maybe it was the tuna sandwich of the guy on the chair next to him. He never liked that smell or tuna at all but now he would hate it forever.

The waiting area of this small town's hospital was not even much larger than Malik's own living room and he felt captivated by the closeness of all those other people waiting for their loved ones. For Malik it felt like there were dozens and dozens of people with him, but in fact it was but a handful and most of them were engaged in distracting themselves from the worrying over their friends and relatives. A few seemed angry – perhaps because their relatives did something stupid to bring them here. The white plastic chairs stood side by side in four rows. In front of Malik with the back to the wall was the first row of ten chairs. A bulky man sat there with his newspaper from the morning prior. Then there was the row Malik sat in with the guy next to him eating this fucking tuna sandwich and chewing with the mouth hung open (He had the freaking choice to sit wherever he liked, but he chose to sit right next to Malik and his angry scowl). Behind his back there was the third row where nobody sat and facing that on the other wall was the fourth and last one inhabitant by a bunch of people seemingly belonging together.

From his position he could see the nurse's desk a few feet away and that obnoxious big plant in front if it which should deliver the atmosphere of a friendly and healthy environment in that place of death and suffering. An old coffee automat rested its back by the wall next to the nurse's desk, but Malik knew that those women and men would rather amputate a limb than drinking coffee from that machine. Currently there were two nurses working the front desk and in consideration of the time it was quiet and the nurses seemed calm and a little tired.

It cost him a great deal of effort to not rock his leg or to be more correct to stop his left leg from rocking up and down, when he rested his elbows on his knees and leant his face into his hands to curl his fingers in his black hair. His entire life Malik had thought he would cry when the day his parents died came. He never was one of those people who thought their parents immortal or invincible. It was the natural course of the world that they would take their leavings from the stage of life before him (if Allah liked it that way, because nothing was worse than the day when a father or a mother had to bury their child). Death was a part of life and nothing to be afraid of. Nothing that should be better kept secret so the reaper couldn’t find you. It was good to talk about that and when you are prepared for that inevitable day it could even free your mind and soul.

His parents were people who would plan everything in their life exactly through and Malik was the very same way. He knew already how he would get access to that bank account his mother created in all of her wisdom for exactly this very day. He knew how his parents would like to be buried and where he could find a list with names of people that should be invited to the funeral. He even knew how his parents wanted to have their coffins and how the gravestones should look like and which funeral home to call and that they wanted to be buried close to him so they could rest in peace, assured to be close to their boy. It was all planned out neatly and all already arranged. Planning prevents emotional breakdowns. Planning prevented Malik from breaking down in tears in the middle of that fucking waiting area of that hospital.

Malik's eyes felt terribly dry when he looked down at the white-greyish linoleum floor and silently asked himself how many people had already thrown up on that exact spot between his feed while waiting for news from their beloved ones. No matter how much you will plan your life and no matter how well you would deal with the topic of death, it doesn't prevent you from the shock of reality when it finally happens. In the very moment his phone rang in his apartment, over an hour ago, Malik had already known that something had happened. He would like to say, that the phone had startled him from his slumber - just like it would happen in some cheesy movie, but it did not. He had lain awake the whole time and wasted his precious time with imagining how he would come clean with his parents about his _sexual preferences_.

Malik had been calm and collected during that whole phone conversation and that must've irritated the person on the other end of the line more then he'd noticed. You would expect that the other person would be hysteric or in shock when someone calls in the middle of the night to inform them that there had been an accident. _An accident, yes_. Malik hadn’t even been surprised by that information and after he heard those words that sick feeling in his stomach finally vanished. He had been certain he would drive to the hospital of Dorchester where someone would tell him his family would be in the operation room or that they already where in the anesthetic recovery room or that they were getting stitched right now or treated in any way at all. He hadn’t expected to be told that his parents hadn’t survived the accident. They had been dead _immediately_ , the physician told him and Malik couldn’t help but ask himself from where that guy had gotten that information. Had he been there when it happened? He never understood that phrase and what it meant to say. He knew that most people were probably relieved to hear that their relatives hadn’t suffered before they died, but it did not soothe Malik at all.

He knew his parents would’ve fought their way back to life when they had had the chance and when they hadn’t been _immediately_ dead. He would rather have them suffer in that car wreck and so they could still be with him and able to fight instead having them dying without a chance to fight and suffering. He knew he was being egoistic, but Malik wasn’t ready to do without his parents and a small part of him refused to understand that they were gone. If he would let the truth sink in and process it, he would need to recognize their deaths and when he would do that they would really be dead.

This was the thought process of a child that wasn’t ready to live his life without the support of his parents and Malik already knew how ridiculous that really was. His gaze shifted towards the clock in the waiting area right above the head of the bulky man with the newspaper. His twenty-fifth birthday was officially over for a few minutes now. His parents raised him so he would be a man that could stand on his own two legs with twenty five years. He was living alone for a while now in this city, worked like any normal adult would and he already proven in college that he could take care of himself, but suddenly he felt like he wouldn’t be able to do anything in his life without his parents' support and love. Suddenly he felt like a five year old searching for _mommy and daddy_ after a nightmare had woken him from his sleep.

He had no other choice than trying to make it on his own now, for his parents wouldn’t come back from the death and he needed to try for his little brother who was still in the operation room. There was that horrible numbing feeling of panic again deep inside him, when he thought about the mere possibility of losing Kadar also and that he then would be really all alone. They did not have any family in the US and their last remaining family members were still living in Syria (although Malik did not know any of them and he heard one of his aunts fled to Europe some time ago). They were alone in the world and Malik needed his little brother desperately so he could lean on him when all the pressure would be too much to bear. When in reality it should be Kadar who should be able to lean on him when things got hard.

Kadar was still a child, he was just eight years old and he never came in contact with death until now. He hadn’t even had a pet which died on him (With the exception of that stupid goldfish that _ran away_ after two weeks of not getting fed to start a new life in the ocean. When you are a four year old boy you believe crap like that if your big brother told you such a story). Malik was certain the boy would break when he heard the truth as soon as he would be awake again and when Malik would tell him what happened. _Christ how long do they need?!_ It seemed like an eternity that his brother was operated on when it was in fact just one and a half hour and Malik knew very well that it could be hours since he would hear the next time from the physician. He did not even know how badly Kadar was injured and that made him sick. He hated not knowing what was going on especially now when he bore the responsibility for his little brother. He never had expected that he would found himself in such a situation at some point in his life. He loved Kadar dearly, but he never expected that he would need to raise his little brother all by himself. He had no plan for that! How do you even raise a child?

"For god's sake Ezio would you hold still already?!"

He did not even know why but the voice of a young man grabbed his attention and brought him to turn his head in the direction the voice came from. He did not even know if he should be annoyed because the boy had interrupted his thought process and mourning or if he should be curious what was happening. He could only see the back of that boy who seemed to be in the middle of scolding another one. A white hood was pulled over the head of the bickering teenager (at least it seemed like he was one judging by his stature and height). He was lanky in stature and tall, but not taller than the average teen would be. His grey jeans already faded to a dull white-greyish color that resembled the linoleum floor and his sneakers were probably years old judging by their state and the little holes in the fabric. The other boy, that was standing half in front and half next to the white-hooded-one, was a little shorter, had chin-long chocolate-brown hair and his shirt was covered in blood stains as well as his (also) washed out jeans that would certainly go straight into the garbage bin later just like his ruined shirt. No way to wash out stains like this. His mother would be furious. Malik's mother would’ve been furious. A faded black eye decorated the young face and there was a small cut over his eyebrow, probably he got himself into some stupid fight in school or somewhere else. The first boy held the second (Ezio?) by the wrist and it was just now that Malik spotted the long and deep cut on the palm of the boy's hand from which blood was still dripping down on the floor and on the clothing of the two boys.

"I don’t need stitches, I swear! That wound will heal by itself! Look it doesn’t even bleed anymore!" A lie couldn’t be more implausible in consideration of the fact that there was already a very little puddle of blood between them boys on the ground. "We just stick a Band-Aid on and it's alright! Desmond can do it!"

"Yeah great idea. We just do that and when you bled to death I will just bury you in the backyard." The taller, hooded boy (it was summer for god's sake! Why would you even wear a hoodie in summer?!) growled but he had not further chance of mocking the probably younger boy, when two other children entered the scene clumsily like two puppies. The taller of those two could be ten years old at the most because he was just a little bit taller than Kadar, had wild black hair (which needed cutting really badly) and held the hand of the second child while he held the remains of an half eaten chocolate popsicle in his other hand. His mouth was stained with ice cream, but he did not seem to care. His clothing looked exactly as old as the clothing of the other three. He looked like a little brother who had to wear the old clothing of his brothers no matter how out of fashion it may be. The tiniest member of the bundle looked like he was between five and six with good will, his movements were clumsy and lazy (like a puppy) and he looked ready to fall asleep right then and there. His pants were stained with dirt and something that looked suspiciously like chocolate ice and his hair was covered by the hood of a little more light weight dark blue hoodie with … were that really little bear-ears on the hood? He looked tiny. A child his age shouldn’t be in a hospital after midnight.

 _Malik_ shouldn’t be in a hospital after midnight.

The four of them made an interesting picture, interesting enough to distract Malik at least for the moment from his heavy thoughts. "I'm tired Alty…"  The littlest one whined and managed to free the bleeding boy with just that comment from the oldest and Malik came to the conclusion they were most likely brothers. _Alty_ – the boy in the white hoodie – crouched down in front of the littlest and picked the child up on his arms, while the other child (the one with the Popsicle) wiped his now free hand on his jeans in that particular way only children could muster when they tried to look like it was disgusting to touch someone while they wanted and needed that desperately at the same time. Kadar did that often. The oldest boy still stood with his back towards Malik so he could only see how the little one hooked his legs and feet behind his brother's back (leaving dark blotches on the white fabric with his dirty shoes) and wrapped his small arms tightly around his brother's neck. Even from afar Malik could see how disgustingly sticky his little hands looked; probably he had had also a Popsicle before and already wolfed it down with the hunger of a little boy. His little head rested relaxed on his brother's shoulder ready to fall asleep on the spot.

If the situation would be another Malik would find that imagine in front of him extremely cute. It reminded him of little Kadar falling asleep in his arms. He would often carry his little brother the exact same way when they had been playing outside the whole day and Kadar was too tired to walk alone. Suddenly he missed holding Kadar like this on his arms or carrying him on his shoulders deeply.

"Will Ezio die now?" The boy with the Popsicle asked now and looked with big eyes up to the cut on the hand of the hurt boy. Only now Malik noticed that one of the nurses behind the desk had vanished, she was probably already on the hunt for a free attending physician who could take care of this nasty cut while her colleague just shoved a box of tissues annoyed at the boys over the counter. Her look at the four alone told Malik that she already knew them.

"No I don't die, Connor!" Ezio spat angrily at his little brother while he pressed a bunch of tissues against his wound.

"Can I have your bed when you're dead? Desmond snores."

" _I don’t snore…"_ The boy mumbled already half asleep on the arms of the oldest and the still bleeding and very pale Ezio seemed ready to strangle the boy named Connor.

"I don’t die and you can't have my bed! Learn to live with it and just kick him when he starts snoring! And even if I should die – I swear to god – I will take my bed with me to the grave just so _you_ can't have it!"

"Oh you are such an asshole…"

Malik would’ve liked to listen longer to the conversation of those brothers (rather than going back to his own unpleasant thoughts and worries), when someone cleared his throat very close to him. "Mr. Al-Sayf?"

The face of the physician was already burned into Malik's brain for he saw the man shortly after his arrival at the hospital when the man told him about his parents' deaths and about the impending operation of his brother. His face wore a serious expression, drawn in thick worry lines on his forehead and Malik felt how the knot that was his intestines got tighter and tighter. Malik avoided right from the start to getting his hopes high just because the nurses and physicians tried to soothe him for the time he was sitting here. He was no friend of false hopes just so they could be trampled on again. It was for the better to just not expect anything at all because then you would not be disappointed again. What a sickening pessimistic thought.

Malik stood even though his legs had the consistence of pudding and even though his knees were practically nonexistent anymore. He couldn’t manage to speak a word but in fact he wouldn’t know either what to say. He had no plan for a situation like this. He hadn’t been prepared for his parents dying in a stupid car accident and that his brother would need an operation just because they wanted to visit him (just because Malik rather lived in a town like Dorchester than close to his parents). He had wasted his life to prepare himself for more absurd scenarios or for the day his parents would peacefully fall asleep and never wake up again as soon as Kadar would be old enough to deal with it. Oh who was he trying to fool? Nobody was ever old enough to be able to deal with the death of his parents.

"Your brother had endured his operation very well you can visit him now, but it will take a little while longer until he will wake up again."

 

* * *

 

 

Altaїr was late – _again_ – and Malik looked down on the display of his phone in annoyance – _again_ – while he leant with his back against the wall of the little Italian restaurant _La Volpe_ that was vibrating with life and joy. Well at least he now had the chance to reviewing the last night again, something he simply avoided until now. Malik was here for a reason and he had asked Altaїr for a second date so shortly after their first one because of that one reason, when he had seen the young man this morning in the coffee shop again – just hours after the boy had left his bed. He was here to end this _thing_ that they had going on before it could even really start. Now that the first euphoria of the past evening had vanished and now that his mind was back on duty, Malik knew that they had no future whatsoever.

Altaїr was way too young and Malik had wanted to end their date immediately after Altaїr answered his question about his age ("I am seventeen, but I'll turn eighteen next month, so no big deal."). But, oh, it really was a big deal. He couldn’t dumb Alex because of his age (and because he was a lying asshole) just to start something with a seventeen year old boy no matter if it wasn’t technically illegal. It felt _illegal_. It felt wrong. It wasn’t the number that was bothering him, not the age itself, but it was the gap that was implied by that number that would always lie between them. Malik wanted to settle, he wanted a serious relationship with someone equal and no child to fool around with. But then Altaїr had grabbed him by his forearm to hold him back, when they left the small diner and had forced Malik to look him into his furious eyes. He had hurt Altaїr the prior evening with his strict refusal just because of his age, but Altaїr had kissed him nonetheless, no matter how hurt he had been and Malik's brain simply went blank after that.

He blamed the lack of sex in his recent life which caused that error in his brain. There was something with Altaїr that made him forget everything he wanted to do originally and Malik did not liked that at all. He liked the feeling of being fully in control, of being the one in charge and he did not feel like that at all when he was with that stupid teen. It was about time to wipe the slate clean and to avoid the coffee shop from now on so that he would never need to see Altaїr ever again. But nonetheless Malik couldn’t avoid thinking back to the last night. Altaїr had been uncharacteristically shy when they sat together at that diner but he was nearly unstoppable when they had arrived at Malik's flat. It was crazy, like Jekyll and Hyde crazy. When Altaїr had lain naked under him on the bed and when Malik had seen all those fainted and fresh bruises on the thin body of the seventeen year old, Malik had already been too deeply engaged in his lust and longing for that boy, so he hadn’t asked and Altaїr hadn’t seemed to want to talk about it either.

They did not talk about it after they had lain side by side in Malik's bed either, exhausted and satisfied as they had been, because Malik again hadn’t wanted to ask and Altaїr hadn’t wanted to answer. Now that he thought about it, it seemed wrong to him that he hadn’t asked at any point between the sex and Altaїr's leaving in the early morning hours. Basically they hadn’t talked much on that past night at all. They had been too engrossed in their bickering and fighting after they were done with flirting as soon as the topic shifted towards Altaїr's age. Altaїr had grinned at him nonetheless with full teeth when Malik entered the coffee shop again today.

A small voice in Malik's head told him anyway that he did not even wanted to know exactly where all those bruises came from, even though yesterday it had been different. Yesterday morning he hadn’t known that Altaїr was just a child, yesterday morning the whole situation was a different one than it was now. Now Malik knew the boy wasn’t even old enough to drink alcohol or to vote and suddenly he wasn’t even nearly interested in those bruises or his life than he was before. He knew it was unfair, but Malik simply had no interest in listening to a probably sad life story and to deal with Altaїr's problems and worries, because when he did he wouldn’t know how to end this without having an even worse conscience about it than he had already.

It wasn’t right to sleep with a kid and letting it down afterwards, although it was exactly what he did before in the past. But the men whom he treated like that were exactly that: _men_ no _boys_. They had known what they were dealing with when it came to one-night-stands, but Altaїr expected more and he did not even need to say it for Malik to know it. It was only natural for a seventeen year old boy to expect more after having sex with someone, he was still in that tender state of naivety and so it was wrong for Malik to exploit him like that.

Again Malik looked down on the display. Altaїr war already thirty minutes late, yesterday it had been only a few minutes. Malik hated tardiness. And then finally, he heard the sound of steps, which hurried towards him and the heavy breathing of a young man who had run the last meters.

"Sorry! I really tried to hurry!" Altaїr's voice came in a gasp and finally Malik could force himself to turn his head so he could examine the guy with a serious face and furrowed brows. Altaїr seemed to shrink immediately under his angry scowl and while Malik was dressed for the occasion (Malik didn’t know it back then, but Altaїr would mock him for this in the future greatly) underneath his black coat with the high collar, Altaїr wore what he wore most times when Malik saw the guy. The light grey hoodie which Altaїr had worn this morning in the coffee shop was still covering his upper body and his hood was pulled out underneath his black jacket. Just like yesterday the boy wasn’t wearing a scarf or a hat or even gloves against the cold but he wore his beloved sneakers which were much too thin for that weather, although it hadn't snowed in days. And his washed out jeans which he also wore this morning were now broken. There was a big hole on his right knee and blood on the fabric and his hands were also hurt and scraped. At least this had been different this morning. He couldn’t take the boy like that into a restaurant. When Altaїr noticed Malik's gaze he hid his hands swiftly inside the pockets of his jacket. It wasn’t even worth mentioning that his jacket was way too thin for that season of the year.

Malik growled. "What did you do this time, you idiot?" He asked and gestured roughly towards his hurt knee before he finally stepped closer and grabbed Altaїr's left hand to pull it free from his jacket again, so he could look at the damage the idiot had caused. His grip was rough, but Altaїr did not even flinch and did not seem to take his scolding seriously.

"Oh … that. No big deal, really." Altaїr grinned while he freed his hand again from Malik's grip. "I stumbled while I was running up the escalator, because I got stuck on my own shoelace."

"And why exactly did you run up an escalator? These things are meant so you _won't_ have to walk by yourself."

"Well I didn’t want to be any later than I already was of course! I didn’t want to let you wait." Altaїr mumbled and in his own little world it surely made sense and was completely understandable. Malik just shook his head in disbelieve. The boy was a child but it was _cute_ though. He had fallen because of him.

"You're such a child." Malik sighed and it seemed he had pushed a button inside Altaїr's head which he hadn’t meant to push at all right now, because Altaїr took a step back and shoved his hurt hand again in his warm pocket. His face turned into an annoyed scowl.

"Oh not again with that topic!" He moaned. "You didn’t complain last night that I am just seventeen years old. Are you starting now again with that baloney? Listen, when it bothers you _that much_ why asking me out a second time?" He was angry and maybe he had all the right reasons to be angry at him and Malik was angry because it seemed they would have to discuss that topic out here in the middle of the street right in front of that restaurant instead of talking inside like … _adults_.

"Well here's the thing: You don’t have sex with anyone and then simply vanish like nothing had happened." Malik replied dryly when he crossed his arms leisurely in front of his chest, but Altaїr did not buy this show at all and just snorted.

"Yeah sure. Come on now Malik, I am no idiot." He then spat. And he was right, unlike everything Malik said to the boy, Altaїr made it very hard for him to actual believe that he was an idiot, he just behaved sometimes like one.

"Okay, you want the truth? You'll get it. I wanted to meet you again because I thought – in consideration of your young age – it would be my obligation as an adult to explain to you that something like that what happened last night can't and will not happen again. You are right, normally I wouldn’t have any problem whatsoever with forgetting last night and moving on with my life, but you are still a _child_ , Altaїr. Actually I did not want to discuss that with you in the middle of the street but since you're not giving me any other choice I-"

"You _like_ me."

For just a moment Malik did not even know what to say to that or if he simply misheard his words. "Pardon?"

"I said you _like_ me; turn on your hearing device old man! If you wouldn’t like me, you wouldn’t even put the effort in meeting me a second time and would just ignore me from now on. So just admit that you like me and we can go on from there or continue where we left yesterday."

He did not grin, but Malik wished he would because Altaїr's grin was simply contagious (although it sometimes looked more like he was trying to bear his teeth at Malik like an angry dog). "Listen _boy_ , don’t make the mistake of imagining you're the love of my life just because we had sex, alright? I mean it exactly like I said it: what happened yesterday won't happen again. You are a child and I am ten years older than you no matter if you will turn eighteen next month or not. I thought it would be the right thing to do when I decided telling you politely in a restaurant and with all that fancy stuff that adults do, so your first experience with a guy wouldn’t stick all to negatively with you."

"And you don’t think that this now won't stick negatively in my head as my _first experience_? Why do you even think that this was the first time for me?" Altaїr growled and his eyes had again that angry and threatening shimmer to them, but Malik only frowned. He certainly wouldn’t tell Altaїr, but he was gay long enough and had been often enough with other man to notice when he had a virgin in front … or rather _under_ him. Unlike Altaїr's behavior in the diner he hadn't been shy at all when they arrived at Malik's apartment, but his slight nervousness when Malik had slid between his long legs was evidence enough.

Malik held up his hand in exasperation and took a few steps back. This discussion wouldn’t lead to anywhere and he was done talking in circles. "Well that's it, Altaїr. Just get over it, alright? I tried to be nice here and I really did not want for it to turn out ugly like that, but you don’t leave me any other choice. Delete my number and just forget what happened last night."

Malik felt like he was the biggest asshole wandering on the face of the world, when he turned around and departed from that ugly scene just to dive into a small alleyway to his left (The truth was Malik wanted to have an impressive leaving, when his flat in fact was in the same direction as Altaїr had to walk. So he simply decided to hide in that alley until Altaїr would’ve been out of sight. This wasn’t like him.). He paused for a moment; his back pressed against the wall behind him and listened. He had expected Altaїr to yell after him or that the boy would even follow him, but he did not. This time Malik had tried to hurt the boy on purpose so Altaїr would realize that Malik was serious about this and that there wouldn’t be a second chance, but this time Malik felt even worse than he had last night when they left the diner. He wasn’t like that. He wasn’t running around breaking hearts or hurting people on purpose.

His mother would've been disappointed with him and a small part of him wished he never had met Altaїr in the first place so he wouldn’t have needed to hurt that poor boy like that. Why hadn’t he been able to control himself last night for god's sake?! Malik was a guy who was able to hold his head up high no matter what he did, but now he felt ashamed for his actions. He had stolen that boy's virginity like a thief and dumped him like a piece of trash.

After a moment Malik dared to look back to where they'd stand. Altaїr was still there in front of the restaurant were Malik had left him and was staring at the spot where Malik had stood, but then he made an ugly grimace, pulled his grey hood over his head like he wanted to just hide from the entire world, turned around and walked towards the station. If he would hurry he could catch the last train back home while Malik only had to walk a few feet. Maybe it hadn’t been a great idea to let the boy travel through Dorchester for this _date_ just to _break-up_ with him (could you even say that when there wasn’t even a relationship in the first place?). Anyway, the poor guy now not only had a broken heart he needed to travel home again in the middle of the night. And no matter what Altaїr would say, Malik knew that boy _liked_ him – to quote Altaїr.

He waited another moment just to make sure that Altaїr would be out of eyesight and so he could sort out his thoughts before he finally left the alley again and began his way towards his apartment. His bad conscience was already eating away at him. He liked the boy and he couldn’t deny it. He did not liked him like Altaїr meant it, but he liked him nonetheless. Altaїr had fallen up an escalator just for him and Malik treated him like a doormat. That wasn’t nice … no, not at all. Why couldn’t Altaїr be just a few years older? It would be perfect if he would be at least twenty-one! Altaїr was funny and sometimes cute; he had a big mouth, was witty and intelligent and did not seem like a teen at all. He seemed so much older at times but then again he was an idiot … and he was very much too young to even consider him as a partner.

 _You are such an asshole, Malik. A real jerk. Why didn’t you just ask him about his age at the coffee shop before asking him out, instead of just fucking the boy and then acting like he had a contagious and deadly disease! Fuck, what if you traumatized that kid? What if he will never ever trust another man because of you?_ Yeah … he fucked up big time. Altaїr didn’t deserve to be treated like that – really no one deserved to be treated like that – and he certainly did not deserved to get bullied by Malik on the middle of the street after he had fun with the boy last night knowingly that it was wrong.

But all that self-flagellation did not change anything. The harm was done; the wound was inflicted and would leave a scar.

Malik's way let him pass a bus stop to his right and again he paused for a moment, when he spotted Altaїr's shivering form right there sitting on that stupid metal-bench all alone, the hood still pulled up over his head. He looked lost and much smaller then he really was and Malik was sure he wouldn’t look like this if he knew that Malik could see him. He did not know much about him, but he knew that he was full of pride. A small glance towards his watch revealed that Altaїr not only missed his last train but also the bus. Malik clenched his jaw while he stood there before he forced himself to walk on just to stop again when he heard a small sniff behind him.

 _Is he crying? Fuck! You made him cry you asshole!_ Malik's heart suddenly felt heavy even though he normally wouldn’t give a damn about other people's feelings. It wasn’t that he was a heartless bastard, but he simply wasn’t interested in other people that much aside from his family and he certainly wasn’t that type of guy who would melt to a puddle on the floor just by the sight of tears (his ex-boyfriend had been a real crybaby so the relationship didn’t last that long). When he turned his head towards the bus stop he could see how Altaїr was wiping his nose with the back of his hand. It was impossible to say if he was in fact crying from afar and Malik did not think that Altaїr was the type of guy who would cry in the middle of the night sitting at a bus stop just because of a broken heart. In fact Altaїr had made more the impression of a guy who could deal with a great amount of hurt or rejection. His strength had been appealing to Malik right from the start. But then again, how good did Malik know the boy? Just because they had sex it didn’t mean he would know anything at all about the boy.

Altaїr sat there bent forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his head hung low. He looked exactly like someone who had made a really big mistake and was already ripping himself apart because of it. He was ashamed because he had been naïve enough to trust Malik. Malik knew he should walk on and simply forget that all of this had ever happened, but then his feet began walking towards the bus station and paused just when he stood right in front of the boy. Altaїr did not move at all when he could see Malik's black polished leather shoes in front of his own feet. Not until Malik's hand reached for the hood to pull it back, Altaїr came back to life and grabbed Malik's wrist with an iron grip and a lot more strength than Malik would’ve expected from that lean boy.

"Piss off, Malik." Altaїr hissed and finally he could see those (beautiful) amber eyes again, when Altaїr looked up to him without lifting his head in the slightest. Malik did not like the expression in his eyes at all. They were full of rage and disgust and he looked somewhat like he was ready to just push Malik in front of the next bus or car that would pass by or simply strangle him to death.

"Next bus will be here in an hour." Malik just noticed flatly and not very helpful but he did not make any move to free his hand from Altaїr's stony grip which just got tighter. He did not even know what he was doing here, Altaїr's eyes simply had that effect on him and he hated it.

"That's not your problem." Finally the teenager lifted his head. He couldn’t deny that he was relieved that he couldn’t see any traced of tears on his red cheeks.

"Well it is. You're freezing and my apartment is just around the corner. You can stay and wait there." What the hell was wrong with him?! Why did not he just walk on?! He had asked him out to end this and he had ended this and now he asked him to follow him back to his apartment!

"Oh for fuck's sake could you please decide what you want?!" Altaїr spat on the verge of really jumping up and killing Malik – he probably deserved his fury after what he did. "What the fuck do you want from me, Malik?!" Well at least his question was legitimate and Malik couldn’t even answer him, but Malik tried to conceal it by simply lifting one brow.

"I want that you stop behaving like a shitty brat and come with me so I can treat your fucking wounds and to hinder that you die because of pneumonia for staying out here in the cold with summer clothing!" Altaїr would manage something like that, he was certain he would.

"Please correct me if I'm wrong but wasn’t it you who demanded I should delete your number and forget everything that happened? Who is chasing after whom now?"

"I don’t chase you; I just try to behave decent like an _adult_."

"If you would try to behave decently you wouldn’t blame my age for your panic to let someone into your crappy, boring life, you fucking asshole! If you would try to behave decently you wouldn’t have first fucked me – although you knew how old I am – just to throw me away afterwards like a used tissue! You simply should’ve acted like nothing had happened at all - that would’ve been better and more decent than that! Because of you I have to stay out here in the cold to wait for the freaking bus and can't be home with my brothers, not that you would care."

"Why should I be afraid to let someone into my _boring crappy_ life?" Malik hissed even though he tried to avoid just that, but Altaїr drove him crazy when the boy simply shook his head and let go of his hand to shove his cold fingers back into his pockets but staying where he sat. He did not seem willingly to answer that at all and Malik was boiling again. Altaїr seemed much older when he was angry, but then he sighed again. The truth was Malik did not want to think about the truth that maybe lied in this boy's words. No matter how much Malik yearend for someone he could settle with, every time he met someone some tiny voice in his head would find a small mistake in the other person to break the illusion of love and trust. "Come now, Altaїr. I take care of your wounds and then I will drive you home."

Altaїr lifted one of his elegant brows and the twin seemed eager to follow.

"Okay … listen, I admit that I behaved like a piece of shit and that you have all the right reasons to be mad at me but let me at least do that for you, you stupid stubborn mule, after all you got hurt because of me." - In more than just one way – "Other than that who makes me my coffee when you freeze to death out here?" He had no fucking clue where that came from and he was tired of trying to understand his own thought process anymore, but at least Altaїr managed a small grin even if it was lacking the humor.

"You are banned from the coffee shop forever." And with that the teen finally stood up from the bench that let Malik shiver in cold just by looking at it (Malik would be grateful in the future that Altaїr wasn’t that vengeful). The boy was still angry and there was no way at all they would have another chance – which Malik certainly did not want at all – but he seemed tired of waiting In the cold when there was the prospect of being driven home in a warm car much faster than the bus would. "And just to make it clear: You keep your hands where I can see them and you keep your dick inside your pants because otherwise I will rip it off."

Malik did not even care to deny that he liked that side of Altaїr very much.

 

* * *

 

 

"Did you not want to take care of my wounds?" Altaїr mumbled tiredly while his thin, long fingers slowly drew little circles on Malik's broad chest. He seemed lost in thought while he did and Malik simply closed his Arm tighter around his back that was still damp from sweat to enjoy the sensation of the caress of tender fingertips.

"Did you not want to rip off my dick if I didn’t keep in inside my pants?"

Altaїr chuckled and Malik had no clue how they – _again_ – landed together in his bed very much naked. A small pinch to his side brought Malik back to reality. He felt comfortably tired now and just enjoyed the feeling of having someone in his bed like that after an eternity of loneliness – even having someone lying in his arms so well fittingly. When he hooked up with some guy in the past he vanished afterwards immediately, but Altaїr liked cuddling. Of course he liked it, he was just seventeen! Oh Malik would’ve loved to scream when his brain finally decided it was about time to come back from its vacation and remembered him again at the age gap.

But instead of screaming he just grinned and grabbed Altaїr's assaulting fingers to softly bite into the soft skin in a matter of revenge and maybe just because so he wouldn’t kiss the guy. Suddenly the thought of kissing Altaїr was frightening – just like he hadn't had his dick in that boy just moments ago. But kisses seemed suddenly to be much more intimate then sticking his cock in someone else's body and Malik had no clue what would happen if he would really let this boy into his life. Altaїr squeaked but he did not seem hurt at all and Malik finally freed himself from the boy to crawl out of the bed. He did not get far because first there was a low thump when Altaїr let himself lazily fall down on the warm spot Malik had inhabited seconds before and then his fingers fished after Malik's wrist again.

"I'll be back in a second." Malik chuckled and this time it did not even feel that hard to do it at all. With a low hum Altaїr let him free to go and made himself comfortable on Malik's spot like a fat cat on a sunny place. He really was cute, how could Malik deny that fact when he saw him lying like that? It was a very different kind of finding someone cute than it had been with Alex and Malik couldn’t help but curse about himself. He had gone soft again because of that stupid kid and this time he couldn’t and wouldn’t blame sexual frustration for it. _You wanted to dump that boy instead you fucked him again_ , his inner voice scolded him but Malik just put his shorts back on before he left the bedroom on his way to the bathroom. It did not even take him a minute before he finally came back to Altaїr who had made himself obscenely comfortable on his large bed just like he never had one only for himself.

"You're kidding me!" Altaїr laughed when he saw the first-aid-kit in Malik's hand and managed to sit up straight again so the blanket slumped down into his lap. Altaїr did not seem to be bothered by his nakedness in the slightest. Again Malik's eyes traveled over that far too thin body, over the rips he could see very clearly under the winterly pale skin and over all those fainted bruises and scratches. Malik wasn’t quite sure, but he was almost certain he had seen the imprint of a boot on Altaїr's flank earlier. He felt sick when he thought about it, but he just grinned and crawled in bed again with him still not knowing what he was doing here and why Altaїr let him do it.

"Not at all. I don’t want you to have scars because you fell up or down an escalator because of me." At least Malik could treat the visible wounds he had left on that boy. Although Altaїr did not seem to be angry anymore with him, Malik was quite certain that he still was hurt. When he would put himself in Altaїr's position, he would be hurt no matter that they again had sex after their fight on the street. Even now while just looking at Altaїr it was quite hard for Malik to hold back his longing to touch him again. It was ridiculous.

"Oh, that wasn’t the first time I did that, just don’t flatter yourself!" The younger one smirked.

"Actually I don't have any trouble believing you in consideration of your general clumsiness. Now come on Cinderella show me your leg."  Malik murmured then when he opened the kit and shoved his other hand beneath the blanket. It did not cost him more than two seconds until he found the hurt leg and let his fingers first brush over Altaїr's calf before he grabbed his leg and pulled it out from under the blanket which was now tangled around his right leg.

"Wasn’t it the food in Cinderella?" Altaїr purred but Malik only pinched his foot for that and got another little squeak from the teen.

"Shut your mouth smartass." He grinned before getting on with his work feeling light headed and stupid like a teen himself, but Altaїr wasn’t finished yet.

 _"Rook di goo, rook di goo! There's blood in the shoe. The shoe is too tight. This bride is not right!"_ The teen **curred**.

It wasn’t the first time Malik had to treat wounds like that and should Altaїr remain in his life – Malik was certain – it wouldn’t be clearly the last time. Skilled he cleaned the wound on his knee (there already was an ugly scar on the side of his knee which looked like he had been operated – or if he did something really, really stupid) from the dirt and the dried blood even though Altaїr flinched because of the sharp stinging pain of the disinfectant. "Come on now, don’t be such a sissy. My brother can take more than this without flinching!" He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw the grimace Altaїr made before his eyes went huge. Malik didn’t even know why he had given this information so freely but now it was too late to take it back and it wasn’t avoidable that Altaїr would dig deeper.

" **You** have a brother?" He seemed really stunned.

"What do you mean **you**? Of course I have a brother, he is ten." Malik answered matter-of-factly like it was written on his forehead (and it really was in all those worry lines he already got) before he stick a Band-Aid to the wound and grabbed for Altaїr's right hand to move on with his work.

"Well you didn’t seem like a big brother." Altaїr grinned. "But I think it's cool, maybe your brother could play sometimes with Connor or Des. Well … probably more with Des." Malik was a little bit puzzled and that showed clearly on his face this time. He knew Altaїr had a little brother – at least he crossed _son_ from his list of possibilities – but Altaїr didn’t know that he knew. "They're my brothers." Altaїr then explained.

"You didn’t seem like a big brother also." It was really hard not to grin. This boy would drive him crazy that was for sure. Malik shouldn’t be here with him. He should be alone and Altaїr should be on his merry way home and they clearly shouldn’t talk about their families. It was hard _not_ to like this guy.

"You think so?" Altaїr lifted one brow. "Although I have three of them." And now Malik stopped in his tracks right now when he was about to bring that dangerously cotton ball back to Altaїr's skin. _Three_? Altaїr laughed when he noticed Malik's wide eyes. "Oh don’t look at me like that! But do not worry, they won't go after you or something like that. They couldn’t hit a fly."

Malik cleared his throat. "And … your brothers … are they younger or older than you?"

"I'm the oldest." There was pride in his eyes.

"Dear god the blind leading the blind." Malik smirked but then he couldn’t help but to point at one darker bruise on Altaїr's flat stomach (flat was an understatement because the boy looked like he hadn't eaten in weeks). "Did you get into a fight with one of them?"

Altaїr's eyes followed the direction of his pointing finger and made a face, but then he waved dismissively. "Oh that's nothing and I said already the three of them never could hit a fly. Well Ezio could, but I am stronger than him and he knows that. He wouldn’t dare hitting me."

That wasn’t the answer Malik had hoped for but on the other hand Malik had no clue what he had hoped for after he hadn’t even wanted to ask that question. It would’ve been easier when Altaїr would’ve said that this was the doing of one of his brothers but this seemed to be a topic Altaїr did not like talking about so Malik wouldn’t dig deeper. "So tell me … how old exactly are your brothers?" He could see it in Altaїr's eyes that he liked talking about them and this little sparkling in his eyes let Malik's heart skip a beat every time. Ridiculous.

"Well! Ezio is sixteen and he hits on every girl he sees because hormones are dripping from his ears and stuff. Connor is twelve and he is the calmest of them and Desmond is eight. He is a real spoiled brat but he does what I say and that makes everything more easily." His eyes were still sparkling with pride but there was also something different in them – something Malik did not like to see at all and suddenly Malik remembered what Altaїr had accused him of just two hours ago. Because of him Altaїr was now here and not home with his brothers. Malik wasn’t exactly stupid and he could do the math. No big brother in a situation like that earlier would say something like that when everything would be okay at home.

"Well your mother must've a lot of work then." Malik tested the water and again there was this voice in his head which told him not to. He shouldn’t ballast himself with the problems of that child, not when he needed to end all of this. He shouldn’t sit here with him at all! Just because they had sex again it did not change anything. Malik still thought they wouldn’t have a future together and that it really would be for the better if he would simply forget Altaїr. Altaїr's face was a blank mask.

"We don’t have a mother." He answered then with a voice lacking any kind of emotion, something that he seemed to have trained over the years. Malik knew that kind of voice because it was the same like the voice he used when he needed to talk about his family.

"Is she dead?" A small nod. Malik tried again to concentrate on his work and cleaned the wound on his right hand before he stick another Band-Aid to the tender skin. "And what about your dad?"

"Same."

"Are you living all by yourself?" Well at least it would explain why the boy was working in that coffee shop and wasn’t attending college and why he always seemed a little tired. Altaїr just shrugged his shoulders like he did not even know what to say about that.

"Well we are living with Bill. He is the father of Desmond, but he isn’t home much so yeah … I guess we are basically living by ourselves and then again no."

Malik grabbed the other hand to have a look at the wound but it wasn’t as bad as the other so he could put the first-aid-kit to the side of the bed. "You don’t get along with Bill, am I right?"

Suddenly Malik knew where those bruises came from and that he really seen the mark of a heavy work boot on Altaїr's flank, but the boy only shrugged again with his shoulders before he suddenly jumped at Malik and threw him without warning on his back just to steal a chaste kiss from his lips, while his idle hands were already wandering over Malik's chest. Then Malik finally noticed that Altaїr's eyes already shifted towards the window and he made a grimace.

"Look Malik it's snowing!"

Of course it was…


	5. leap of faith

Malik paused just for a moment by the door of his bedroom, lost in the view of his newly acquired boyfriend. It still felt weird to call Altaїr his boyfriend after that rough and clumsy start they had and neither of them used that term openly for now. It seemed either of them waited for the other to say it first, just like two stupid teens would – and well at least one of them was exactly that - but this kind of behavior was foreign to Malik. He couldn’t even remember if he had behaved like this when he had been Altaїr's age and neither of them was shy in any way.

Through the window of his bedroom, which led to the street outside, shone the faint light of the streetlamps. The sun would certainly keep them waiting a few more hours in consideration of the season, but the light of the lanterns was reflected from the snow that covered the pavement and streets already and illuminated Altaїr's sleeping form. It had been snowing all night and the whole town was sugared with fresh powder snow. It was the very first time in a long while that Malik wasn’t immediately disgusted with the sight of the freshly fallen snow (But this would probably change as soon as Malik needed to leave the house). Thanks to the reflecting snow it was much brighter in his room and the faint light allowed Malik a good view at his boyfriend so the warm feeling in his stomach could light up again – a feeling he hadn't even dared dreaming about last week. The boy was still thin but his current sleep position allowed Malik to examine his barely covered body.

Normally Altaїr would sleep in the weirdest positions but now he was curled up on his side on the spot where Malik had lain a few minutes before, just like he used to every time Malik would leave him alone in the bed. He held Malik's pillow hostage in his arms in substitution of his boyfriend. He might be thin, but he could see how the muscle of his biceps was a little more prominent on his left arm in that light. He could hardly see anything of his face for Altaїr pressed his face to tightly into the pillow just like he was hungry for Malik's scent or the remaining warmth of his body but his still deep breathing told Malik that he was still dead asleep. Since he met Altaїr the boy actually slept two or three times in his bed already. The other nights they spent mostly talking or enjoying themselves otherwise. He often said he wouldn’t need much sleep, he wouldn’t sleep much at home either, but Malik simply knew that this was a lie. He saw it in the way he slept _if_ he slept. His body was greedy and yearning for a good night's rest every time the boy drifted off to sleep. Malik was relieved, that Altaїr was able to find rest like this in Malik's home and in his presence, but they only had a few hours together before Altaїr would have to sneak back into his home, so his stepdad wouldn’t notice anything.

At first Malik thought it was ridiculous, but he arranged himself with this after the first few days and even drove the boy home so he wouldn’t have to travel with public transports in the middle of the night or the eerie early hours of morning. Malik would love it if he had just one chance to let himself been woken up by the light of the slowly rising sun to find Altaїr still sound asleep in his arms and to see how the warm light would flicker on his face to just enjoy that moment of peace, to hold him close and to wake him with gentle caresses and loving kisses.

They were _dating_ for a little more than a week now and since the start there hadn't been a single night without Altaїr. It was crazy, especially when he thought about his rejection of the boy at first. Altaїr still was ten years younger than him, this fact hadn't changed in some magical way over night, but Altaїr managed to change his opinion in proving Malik that he wasn’t a child at all. The boy had a lot to say even if he wasn’t as good with words as Malik was, but Malik hadn't had such rich discussions since the deaths of his parents. It was unbelievable for Malik to see what things and thoughts lay in a young brain like Altaїr's. At last when Altaїr had come to him with a bloody nose one night, Malik had understood that Altaїr's maturity wasn’t the product of all the reading he did and because he loved to learn so much, but more because of the ballast he bore. Altaїr still did not like talking about his situation at home but it really wasn’t necessary for Malik either. He was neither blind nor dumb. He had eyes to see and ears to hear and Altaїr's wounds were nearly screaming at him.

It drove him crazy that he couldn’t do anything about it.

Well of course it wasn’t quite right that he couldn’t do anything about it. He could call the cops and tell them that Altaїr got beaten by his stepdad who neglected and seemingly mistreated not only Altaїr but also the three minors in the home, but if he did it would make things only worse for Altaїr. He planned on taking his brothers with him, as soon as he would turn eighteen next month and he wouldn’t be able to do just that, if the police would be involved. Malik also had the possibility of driving to Altaїr's house and to beat that bastard to a bloody pulp just like he would with Altaїr all the time. Malik still tried to figure out how this guy had managed to steal himself into his heart in such a short time and how he managed to bury himself so deeply in Malik's brain that he simply would feel heavy and uneasy when he thought about just one night without that dork. He did not even want to think about the prospect of Bill losing all control one day and beating Altaїr so heavily that he wouldn’t be able to get up anymore. He hated nothing more than seeing his boyfriend suffering like that. It was unfair and Malik hated nothing more than unfair.

It seemed he simply had no other choice than enduring this because Altaїr was at least just as stubborn as Malik himself. With a small sigh he finally stepped into the room and shuffled towards the bed. He wore nothing more than his shorts and the T-Shirt he liked wearing for sleeping (because it definitely was no shirt he could wear when _people_ where around – other than Altaїr). Malik forced himself to be as quiet as a mouse when he stepped closer to the bed although he could as well be accompanied with a band. His gaze shifted towards this alarm clock on the small bedside table on his side of the bed (although there was no _his side_ anymore thanks to Altaїr who simply annexed this side of the bed). It was already four in the morning and in not later than an hour Altaїr needed to be home, so he wouldn’t get caught by Bill when the guy would leave for work.

There was this distinct yearning in Malik that wanted nothing more than to lie down again, to wrap his arms around the lean, naked body of his boyfriend and to pull him tightly against his chest so he could act like he simply overslept. But he did not want to endanger Altaїr no matter how this danger could look like, so he sat down on the bed and gently stroked Altaїr's left arm that rested on the mattress. Altaїr did not move a muscle. Of course not. It hurt Malik nearly physically that he needed to wake him, of course he would never say it out loud, but he loved seeing the boy so at peace. Every waking hour Altaїr seemed burdened and stressed and worn out, even though he would smile or laugh, there simply was that underlying pressure all the time. He was restless and had a hard time coming down because he constantly worried about his little brothers and if they were alright in his absence.

"Babe … wake up." Malik's voice was a mere whisper, after he leaned over his sleeping body so deep that he could plant a soft kiss to his ear to earn a low moan from the throat of the sleeping boy. He knew how sensitive Altaїr's ears were. "Don't force me to resort to violence…"

" _mwhmmm … fivmr minits…_ " He wasn’t even awake but he had the strength to mumble the magic spell every teenager learned when hitting puberty. Malik knew no mercy but today he did not want to torture the guy, instead he let his fingertips wander softly over his exposed, naked left side to lull him into a state of a false security. He enjoyed the small purr that escaped the lips of his lover with that slow caress while he tried to stroke the sleep out of his body. But Malik wouldn’t be Malik if he would be gentle like this with the boy. They made this deal because Altaїr would simply overhear the alarm anyway and because they made this deal he needed to wake him up, not matter what. Altaїr trusted his skills. Gently, oh so very gently he grabbed his left shoulder and flung him around onto his back in a swift motion so Altaїr had no other choice than to let go off the pillow in his arms, but his face was still that of a sleeping child. It was ridiculous. Maybe this facial expression he wore now was a designated protective mechanism designed by Mother Nature so children wouldn’t get eaten by bears when sleeping and later to find mercy within their strict mothers.

"Come on, you have to wake up, Altaїr." He tried again softly but his voice a little louder and more firm, while his fingers trailed up and down the chest of the boy so they could dip in every valley and climb up every mountain that build Altaїr's chest on the way down towards his stomach. Well at least Malik hadn’t noticed another injury and he did not need to be careful where to touch Altaїr without hurting him in anyway. "If you don’t open your eyes immediately, I am forced to tickle you awake." An empty thread, but it worked.

"No… No, no tickling…"

"No tickling? Well … I surely could grab a bucket of water…"

And _pling_ , just like that Altaїr's eyes flung open and the young man looked in horror and disbelieve up into his face. "You wouldn’t do that to me!" Suddenly Altaїr seemed wide awake and he did not even slur his words anymore. When Malik only raised an eyebrow at this, he chimed in: "You wouldn’t do that to your bed." Because they both knew Malik wouldn’t have a problem _whatsoever_ pouring a bucket filled with cold water over his head.

"Well obviously I would first drag you into the bathtub. Believe me you wouldn’t even notice."

"Why are you so mean, you big ol' meanie?"

"It seems to be my noble duty. Other than that I have to tell you that we already have four in the morning, time to wake up sleeping beauty."

Altaїr's gaze shifted to the side so he could look at the alarm clock himself as he wouldn’t believe Malik's words, but when the time laughed him bluntly in the face he just moaned a very long and pained moan, stretched his arms high above his head and made a hollow back in a miserable attempt to stretch his whole body while laying down, but then he just slumped back to the mattress like dead, his eyes tightly shut.

"And what's that gonna be?" Malik laughed his voice still hoarse from sleep. He wasn’t a morning person (well at least not when he did not need to be. He had no problem getting up every morning for work, but when it was a weekend or if he had a free period he wouldn’t move his ass out of the bed until noon even if his life would depend on it). Silence was thrown back to him, shameless silence. Very gently he stroked with only his index finger down the small line starting under his chest and leading towards his belly button. The man under him did not stir and Malik's gaze shifted from his face to his stomach. The blanket slipped down so deep he could see the trail of dark hair leading from his belly towards his crotch. Someday Altaїr would manage to get his head clear enough for the real life and if Malik would managed till then to feed the guy properly so he would gain a few more extra pounds Altaїr wouldn’t be able to save himself from lecherous admirers anymore and Malik had no other choice than to protect him like a bloodhound. When Malik Al-Sayf came to the point to call something or someone _his_ , there was no way he led it slip from his greedy fingers again. It was crazy: Last week he hadn’t even wanted Altaїr by his side and now he couldn’t imagine his bed without him. "Altaїr?"

Still no answer. Not until Malik pinched his stomach there was no answer, but then the boy flinched while his eyes remained shut. There was a small and faint smirk lifting up the corners of his mouth. "Sleeping Beauty." Altaїr corrected and tried to move his lips as little as possible. Well he would never be a good ventriloquist that was for sure, he was lacking talent greatly. It took a moment until Malik understood what he really meant and what he wanted but then he chuckled softly and leaned again over the boy to lock Altaїr's lips with his own. If all Altaїr wanted from him was a kiss, then he would get a kiss. It was a small price to pay.

He held the kiss just a few seconds and he would love to hold him longer or even deepen it a little, but he soon felt how Altaїr's lips curled dangerously under his own, like every time he was close to giggling or laughing. Malik sat up straight again and only lifted one brow inquisitorial. "Your beard tickles." Altaїr explained grinning and answered a question Malik did not even need to ask. His second brow shot up too.

"It tickled never before."

"It's too early. I am sensitive so early in the day." Malik did not even knew (and he did not want to bother himself anymore with asking himself or wasting hours to think about it) what it was about Altaїr that he simply had to pinch or touch the guy in any way constantly. So he pinched his nose this time and stood from the bed. "Come now princess on the pea, it's time to get up so I can dump you at the side of the road."

And finally Allah had mercy with him when Altaїr crawled lazily from the bed to search for his shorts. "On top of the lamp." Malik commented dryly and just got a little _"Ah!"_ for an answer. "Are you nervous yet?" Malik then mumbled when he pulled on his pants. There was no need changing his shirt for he would go straight back to sleep when he came back.

"Nope." Oh what a stupid little lie. "Are _you_ nervous yet?"

"I survived Ezio.  Don’t think there is any reason to be afraid of two little puppies."

"Well you don’t know the puppies."

"How much worse than Ezio could they possibly be?"

"Hey~" Altaїr pouted when he finally found his shirt (it was under the bed) and pulled it over his head. "He isn’t that bad. I raised him, he is a good boy. But don’t forget Connor is-"

"Shy, I know. No jerky movements, no touching, no loud noises." Malik grinned. Altaїr already told him all he needed to know about his brothers and instructed him in detail. Alone from his memory he could assemble huge files of the children with all those information he got from Altaїr by now. Malik knew what they liked, what they disliked and how he should approach them and what he should be avoiding and so on. But it wasn’t just Altaїr who lied about his nervousness. He really was a little nervous. He wasn’t that much worried that the children won't like him when he would meet them today, he anticipated it more. Even that sounded strange in his head. Altaїr and he weren’t even dating for more than one and a half week by now (He wasn’t even sure if they were yet a couple) and he anticipated meeting his brothers, after he had already met Ezio last Friday. Altaїr and he were in that state of their _relationship_ where they shouldn't be able to keep their hands off each other and where they should spent as much time alone together as possible, instead Malik jumped right into the unknown.

"They will like you for sure." Altaїr mumbled, even though it seemed more that he was trying to calm himself, for Altaїr and he knew (even though neither of them would say it) there wouldn’t be a future for them if the boys would dislike him. Malik wasn’t sure how he should be thinking about this. Was it alright for Altaїr to break-up with him just because his little brothers wouldn’t like Malik, while Malik was doing his best to forget their vast age difference? Well, maybe it was, after all Altaїr was no normal big brother at least that was something Malik understood by now. He had fallen head over heels in love with a father of three children and that couldn’t be changed by now.

"I am good with children, they will love me." Malik grinned, after he pulled Altaїr again in his arms, as soon as the boy was in reaching distance again. Malik couldn’t help it, he had fallen for that moron and the more he thought about the reason why Altaїr had this effect on him the lesser he could find an answer and the more he simply wanted to touch him. It was frustrating. It was ridiculous. Since the very first day when he spotted Altaїr in that coffee shop the boy was eating away at his brain like a parasite and there was no way getting rid of him ever again. No matter how rational they would behave in public, no matter how many times they would talk about how they wouldn’t have a future together and that they weren’t good for each other and that it wouldn’t work between them, as soon as they would be alone again they would rip each other's clothes of and would break all the promises. Malik was powerless and he couldn't do much else than to hope Altaїr would feel the very same way especially when it came to the reality of his brothers not liking Malik. He did not like to admit it, but Malik never felt like that in his life.

He had let Altaїr into his life and into his heart and now he was afraid of losing him again after he had lost so much already.

Altaїr dictated his thoughts when he was at work or sitting in his car and as soon as he would be home cooking for the two of them while he was waiting for an announced visitor just so he could miss him again the next morning when Altaїr would leave like a thief in the night and forced Malik to remain alone in his way too big bed. His bed never felt emptier and lonelier than in the minutes after Altaїr would leave to go home.

"That's not true." Altaїr purred when he let himself be wrapped up in Malik's arms and rested his forehead against Malik's shoulder. He felt Altaїr's hands almost immediately at the small of his back. For now he was still taller than Altaїr – not much really, but still – but Altaїr wasn’t done growing until now and it was possible that the boy would overtop him someday. Malik would rather keep it like this. "You are a bugbear."

Maybe Altaїr was right. It was no secret that Malik wasn’t good with children and that he did not found them cute for no other reason than for them being kids. He wasn’t that kind of person who would make faces or wave at them in restaurants or cafés, but at least he knew how to approach a child and how to talk to them, thanks to his own little brother. After he dropped Altaїr off at the cross road near his home – not without demanding a kiss for his troubles – Malik had all the time in the world to think about the stuff that would be imminent this day. It was Wednesday and school was already closed because of the weather and for the holidays, Malik had took a day off and he would meet his boyfriend's brothers after he had the privilege of meeting Ezio last Friday (he still wasn’t sure if it was indeed a privilege or mere punishment). They would spent the whole day with the children, that was what Malik promised him because the younger one had found it unfair that Ezio already met him and the children not. He would never forget that morning when Altaїr called him – just minutes after he had dropped him off and came back to his apartment – just to tell him about Ezio's wish to meet the guy that was fucking his brother. Malik couldn’t and wouldn't deny that he had been nervous that day, even though he wasn’t as nervous as Altaїr had been while he had watched them over the coffee machine in the shop were they had met.

Malik knew how important it was for Altaїr that his siblings would accept Malik and he was impressed by Ezio's performance. Ezio was still a child and he had the word _idiot_ permanently tattooed on his forehead. He looked like this special kind of teenager who would get in trouble every day, but he was charming and that was the most dangerous about him. It wasn’t really Ezio's gloomy look at him or the rejection in his dark brown eyes which impressed Malik. Ezio's eyes reminded him of his brother's but then again they were extremely different from Altaїr's. Ezio's eyes were much warmer and softer then Altaїr's so he made the impression of someone who was in tune with his emotions and probably more so than most adults Malik knew. He was a boy who stood to his mistakes and for the things he said or did. Altaїr wasn’t good with words, but Ezio was. He knew exactly what he was saying and he was precise in the way he talked and he was no one who would beat about the bush, there was no room for speculating over the meaning behind his words.

When he told Malik he wouldn’t like him Malik knew that his words weren't that much influenced by rejection and more influenced by the need of protecting his big brother because no one else would. Maybe Ezio and he would never get along if his relationship with Altaїr would survive this day, but he knew Ezio was loyal. He would have a loyal ally in that boy when the chips were down, even though he was already certain Ezio would stay on his brother's side most of the time. He couldn’t hold it against him after all the kids only had each other.

Malik fisted his hands tightly around the steering wheel when he drove down the gateway that leads to the underground parking lot lying underneath the apartment complex. What had he gotten himself into? He had met this stupid boy just a few weeks ago and he already knew for sure they wouldn’t have a future together and Altaїr wasn’t even anything like what Malik wished for. Of course he was good looking, he was intelligent and he was much less a child than Malik expected, but Malik certainly hadn't searched for someone with so much ballast. He had already his own ballast to carry with Kadar and his mourning over the loss of his parents and now he found himself a man who only knew violence and who had three children to look after. Malik knew when he would decide to stay by Altaїr's side then his siblings would be a part of this arrangement.

There was no possible scenario in which he would get Altaїr without his brothers and he indeed admired the boy for this decision.

Altaїr really could behave like a child, he could be petulant like a goat and he could be playful and he could rage, but he was much more an adult as some adults Malik knew. Maybe it was exactly that which caused Malik to fall for him so fast. In his whole life there was never an experience as intensive as that last week with Altaїr. They had gone after each other's throats, had fought like an old married couple over nothing at all and when they made up afterwards it left Malik breathless and in no condition to move whatsoever. Altaїr was full of energy, but there also was that side of him that Malik did not liked to see at all and he wasn’t sure if the boy would get rid of it at any point in his life, even though he would manage to start anew.

There had been already many occasions when he had found Altaїr by himself in the living room, sitting on his very cold windowsill and just staring outside to watch the snow, but Malik did not knew if it was his right to ask him what was wrong when he would find him like that. There was nothing peaceful about the way he would look outside. He seemed much older when he would sit like that and just fixated his eyes on a point miles away, lost in thought. Malik wasn't a guy who much cared about other people's problems or worries, but when he saw those deep worry lines in that youthful face he did not want anything more than to stroke them away with gentle caresses and whisper to him that it would be alright.

But he never did. Altaїr was no guy who needed that.

He wouldn’t talk about the things going on at home still, but Altaїr knew surely as well as Malik did, that his boyfriend already understood. A small part of him was in fact disappointed that Altaїr wouldn't trust him enough to pour out his heart on him and on the other hand he did not even knew if he wanted him to. Maybe he couldn’t hold back his anger if Altaїr would confess to him. Someday the weight on Altaїr's shoulders would get too much and would bring him to his knees, but as long as Altaїr did not want to talk about it Malik endured his fits of rage and tried to tame him if Altaїr tried to attack him just because he needed to leash out his frustration and anger. He needed to attack Malik because he couldn’t attack the person that caused all his pain and Malik would simply wrap his arms as tight as possible around his waist, pinning his arms against his side to press him firmly against his chest so he couldn’t lash about and he would stay like that until Altaїr was tired of fighting back and until he was calm enough to think clear again.

Malik had no experience with something like that, but all things concerning Altaїr would cause reactions that would come absolutely natural and logical to him. Suddenly he knew how to handle him, even though he never experienced it before and it did not even felt weird or strange at all but more like he knew Altaїr his entire life.

They were in that stadium of their relationship when all should be happy and beautiful, but they simply skipped that phase to jump right into the ugly reality. Malik had shown Altaїr his egoistic nature when he first took his virginity to dump him afterwards like _a used tissue_ – to quote Altaїr – and Altaїr had showed him how much pain he bore and how heavy his responsibilities weigh on his lean shoulders and it was exactly that which seemed to get them closer and closer together. Altaїr did not put an act on for Malik and he showed him exactly who and how he was and there was no bigger proof of love than that. They were naked for each other even when fully dressed and it was the first time in Malik's life that he experienced this. All his other boyfriends had put a mask on for the first few months until their ugly nature revealed itself and left him second guessing (and Malik did so too, he couldn’t deny that). Malik was certain that Altaїr would come to him when he was ready.

Until then there was nothing left for Malik to do other than to hold him in his arms when he was stricken with nightmares and to comfort him when he would cry. Malik hated crybabies, but he knew Altaїr's tears weren't that of a child and that it weren't really his. He wasn’t crying because he did not get what he wanted, he wasn’t crying for himself.

Malik never met a person who was more selfless although he would never say it out loud, but Altaїr was a treasure worth keeping and protecting. He did not like glorifying someone, but he did so with Altaїr. There were just a few people wandering around on this planet like him. That was the thoughts that stuck in Malik's head when he made his way from the parking lot up towards his flat which suddenly felt extremely lonely and silent without the presence of his annoying boyfriend. With a small sigh Malik closed and locked the door behind him, until he pulled of his shoes, hung his coat on the coatrack and made his way towards the bedroom. He still could sleep a few hours at least before the big moment would come and he would enjoy those hours by pressing his nose in Altaїr's pillow.

 

* * *

 

 

When the evening of the third day came, Malik was startled by the ringing of the doorbell. His gaze shifted towards his watch which told him it was already half past nine. Not that late, but late enough so no one would bother him in the middle of the week when he would need to get up for work the next morning (especially after he couldn’t get much sleep the last two nights). It was thoughts like this which distracted Malik enough from the book he read so he did not even knew what it was about. He had begun reading two hours ago and was just at page three with no hope to get any further today especially now when his concentration was again disrupted.

He wasn’t himself anymore just because his thoughts always drifted without mercy towards Altaїr and what happened last night. Even his colleagues had noticed and that left Malik more embarrassed than he was ready to admit.

With a sigh he threw his book at the other end of the couch before he got up. Maybe it would be better for him to go straight to bed after he got rid of that unannounced and unwelcomed visitor because it was sleep what Malik needed desperately. Malik had visited the coffee shop today again – of course he had – and Altaїr had flashed him a small grin again because they hadn’t part ways in argument this time. When his colleague hadn't listened he had leant over the counter to whisper with a voice as sweet and soft as honey: _"Didn’t I ban you from the coffee shop?"_ But Malik only snorted at that, grabbed his coffee and left. Their encounter had accompanied Malik the whole day and carried him through that boring meeting in the afternoon like he was floating on clouds.

He was past remedy at this point and he had to admit it to himself. The truth was, no matter how much he had thought about Altaїr and their situation this day; he hadn’t come to an answer. He was hopeless and maybe it was for the better that he wouldn’t see Altaїr tonight so he could sort out his thoughts.

Malik really wasn’t in a hurry when he shuffled towards the door even though the bell rang a second time. There was someone very impatient. Malik left his living room behind to enter the generous hallway. There were five doors – six when counting the apartment door itself – which led from the hallway to other rooms. Opposite of the living room was the door to the bathroom and next to that his office and the door right next to the entrance lead to his big kitchen (his favorite place in the flat). The door at the end of the hallway led to his inner sanctum, his bedroom which only a few people were allowed to enter at all (and two of them were already dead). His apartment was obnoxiously big for one person alone and the rooms ridiculously large but on the other hand it was what he expected after the money he had invested in this place. In comparison to his parent's house, this was a mere hole in the ground like his mother always said, but Malik wasn’t one for luxury. He made good money and to his regret he had inherit a good fortune, but that did not meant he needed to show it to the world. Most of his parent's money he already invested on Kadar's behalf.

His naked feet enjoyed the warmth of his floor heating underneath the dark parquet which was lying in the entire apartment (with exception of kitchen and bath of course), while he leisurely strolled towards the door. He had ditched his work clothes hours ago already for his sleepwear and had his reading glasses still attached to his nose – he simply forgot to take them off again – when he finally reached the door, unlocked the chain and opened it without even looking through the peephole.

Malik expected to see one of his neighbors who needed to borrow something or who liked to inform Malik about some party or anything at all. He did not have that much contact with them. He had been welcomed when he moved in and he had introduced himself but that was about it. He would greet his neighbors when seeing them on the hallway because he had been raised that way and Malik even knew one or two names and could assign a few kids to their apartments. He simply wasn’t the type of guy who was _good friend_ with everyone. What he did not expect was to see Altaїr standing in the dark hallway in front of his door.

Just for a moment Malik stood there the door still in his hand in his very pink T-Shirt and his checkered blue pants and kept starring at the face of the teenager which was red from the cold and the snow. There he stood now, his hands hid in the pockets of his washed out jeans, his jacket wet from the snow that was pouring down the heavens since last night and had still a few small flakes in his short, short hair which was otherwise wet. Oh he needed to buy this guy a scarf, a hat and a pair of gloves! But on the other hand they weren't even a couple nor were they friends.

Malik furrowed his brows because Altaїr was staring down at his feet and only lifted his gaze very slowly from his shoes without tilting his chin up a bit. His wet shoes already left small puddles on the floor but before Malik could say anything at all, Altaїr opened his mouth.

"Sorry … I really did not want to harass you like that…" The boy stammered. He sounded a lot like he would've liked to say _Oh you know I was just around_ , but they both knew that this would be a lie, because Altaїr's home was nearly on the other side of town and he was just working till noon. Finally Altaїr stroked one hand through his wet hair. He was freezing but he did not seem to care at all. "You must think I'm a limpet now…" He then continued a little anxious.

Malik only sighed again, but reached for the boy on front of him to grab him by his jacket and drag him into his flat. "Come on in you moron. How did you even get in here?" What else could he do? He couldn’t abandon that freezing teen in front of his door and to see him stammer like that wasn’t at all like Altaїr. Normally he would have thrown his door in his face, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to do it, not when Altaїr looked at him like that. He seemed so utterly lost standing there soaked wet and searching for the right words.

"Well … You know … I slipped in when I saw another person go in."

Altaїr stumbled after him into the flat and Malik closed and locked the door afterwards just to point at Altaїr's wet shoes. It would be better if he wouldn’t ask the boy how long he had waited outside to get the chance to _slip_ in. "Go on; take them off and your socks too." He examined him again, this time with the help of his ceiling light and sighed again. He often sighed when he was near Altaїr. That needed to stop. "It would be best if you would undress completely and take a bath." Altaїr was no stranger anymore, they already had sex two – well to be correct three – times and spent half of last night talking over all the world and his wife. They talked about Altaїr's job and his brothers about Malik's job and his apartment. And now that Altaїr was no stranger anymore he could as well climb into Malik's tub to warm up again.

But Altaїr, who was working on getting out of his shoes made a dismissive gesture. "I'm alright, I promise. I don’t want to bother you and I won't stay long. I just wanted to-"

"Go take a bath. That’s all you need to do. I can't take the responsibilities of you getting a cold just because you are dumb enough to stroll around in the middle of the night during a fucking blizzard. Whatever you want to say can wait until you're finished bathing. I won't let you go out here again like this." Malik's face was stern and so was his voice. If Altaїr wouldn’t take off that fucking second shoe immediately Malik would do it himself. The boy only made a pitiful face and then separated from his shoe which fell down with a wet _thud_ , right before he get rid of his indeed soaking wet socks too.

"Isn't it enough when I just towel myself dry?"

"No it isn’t. Are you trying to seduce me into joining you in the tub? If it is so you need to work on your flirt-technique, young man." It was meant as a joke and he was quite certain Altaїr understood it that way, but the eyes of the younger boy shot up again to his face and then he nodded. He looked very much like a lost puppy.

"Yes, please join me."

They both knew Altaїr hadn’t come here so they could bathe together and Malik was a little bit irritated, but then again he couldn’t come up with any good reason to deny the boy's wish and when it would help to get the boy in the hot water he would do it. Other than this Malik really hadn’t used his tub in a very long time. He moaned – for good measure – and pointed in the general direction of the bathroom. "Come on then…"

It was a little bit ridiculous how Altaїr stood a few minutes later in his bathroom, very much naked (his clothes hung above the heater so they could dry) and looked down at Malik and the bathtub like he was standing at the edge of a cliff. Suddenly Malik had this distinct feeling, that Altaїr would rather jump down a tower into a haystack than to put only his little toe inside the water. Malik's bathtub was relatively large even though he hadn’t cared for this when he moved in. He often hadn’t time to take a bath and he certainly wasn’t the type who would soak for hours and hours in the hot water to _enjoy_ himself. He rather took a quick shower and go on with his work – whatever that would be.

"Come on." Malik demanded, after he got comfortable in the water. Altaїr couldn’t even try anymore to pretend that he wasn’t cold even in Malik's warm apartment. His skin was pale and covered in goose bumps and his lean shoulders shivered. Not until Malik reached for him the boy followed the order and again Malik felt like he tried to force a cat to take a bubble bath. On the other hand a cat wouldn’t make such a fuss about it.

Malik only watched him, when Altaїr took his hand and carefully stick his right food into the water before he brought himself to finally climb into the tub to sit down opposite of Malik. While Malik preferred to lean back to sink as deep as possibly into the water, Altaїr sat there a little tight, his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. They sure made an interesting picture. "You can sprawl yourself, you know? The tub is big enough." Malik smirked, even though his own feet rested already by Altaїr's hips. The tub might be big for one person alone but it wasn’t designed for to grown men to lay sprawled out together in there without they getting in each other's way. Altaїr only wrinkled his nose as if Malik had said something really offensive.

"I don’t like water much." – What wasn’t an explanation for why the boy walked through the snow than and let himself get soaked to the core. For a moment he simply watched him how he looked down onto the surface as if he would expect a shark-attack at any moment now. When Malik pulled his hand out of the water he flinched a little because of the sound of the dripping water.

"You are afraid." Malik commented dryly and did not even know if it was allowed to make fun of it. It did not seem right, after all Altaїr was seventeen years old and no little child anymore, so there probably was something deeper behind his fear of water and as long as Altaїr wouldn’t name some ridiculous reason for it, Malik wouldn’t dare laughing. Altaїr's look was a little judging, when he looked at Malik the next time, but he did not even bother denying. His posture betrayed him already and Malik sat up straight again so he could reach Altaїr's right knee to lay his hand on his skin with its back. "Come on you moron, get yourself comfortable, we will be here for a while."

The coldness of Altaїr's knee told him that and so did the ice-cold hand that slowly grabbed his. Without giving the boy another chance to disobey, now that he had his hand in his, he pulled him towards himself. It would be strange if they would’ve kept sitting like that, like they were total strangers to each other. Malik was no guy who was in big need of cuddling all the time, but he enjoyed the feeling of having Altaїr close and to know he was save, no matter how irrational und weird this was. To his surprise Altaїr let him close his arms around him so the boy could rest with his back pressed against his chest. After a small while he even leant his head back and let it rest against his collarbone, but he seemed tight nonetheless and even Malik's hands on his stomach couldn’t get him to relax. After Altaїr did not make an attempt to speak, Malik was the one to speak first.

"So what happened?"

Altaїr wouldn’t most certainly be here if nothing had happened. He did not thought of the boy like someone who simply would visit someone else unannounced for no reason at all in the middle of the night, but what he heard then from the scarred mouth surprised Malik a little.

"I just wanted to see you." Altaїr mumbled and he sounded a lot like he was surprised and a little startled because of his own words. "I shouldn’t have come here."

"It's alright." It wasn’t alright, was it? It wasn’t okay to visit someone without reason in the middle of the night unannounced and Malik couldn’t grasp the possible reason for Altaїr's behavior. He behaved like a smitten teenager … well he was. If it was for someone else Malik would be furious to be bothered like this at such an hour, but he couldn’t force himself to be mad at Altaїr after he only thought about the boy all day long and after he wished secretly to see him again (outside of the coffee shop). On the other hand he was certain that Altaїr wasn’t that kind of person who would visit someone just like that when it meant to let his little brothers alone with a (potentially) violent stepdad. Maybe this was the reason why he was so nervous in Malik's arms.

Without even thinking about it Malik stroked softly with just his fingertips up and down his stomach, but did not let his fingers slip deeper. If it was sex Altaїr wanted, he would’ve already jumped Malik right at the door and Malik enjoyed sitting like this in the tub and feeling how Altaїr's body became warmer again and how the tight muscles of his back slowly - very slowly - relaxed a bit.

"There is something else, isn’t it?" He dug deeper. Altaїr was silent for a moment, before he sighed, his hands somewhere in his lap. "Altaїr…"

"Don’t _Altaїr_ me…" He did not even know why, but Malik couldn’t help but chuckle and finally for the first time this evening he managed to get a small lopsided smirk from Altaїr. He hated it seeing him so nervous and tight. "I just thought…" He began again and stopped himself. No, that was indeed not the Altaїr he got to know, that was again the shy Altaїr that he met by the start of their very first date, the boy that hadn't even dared to order something to eat. "I just wanted to come over because I thought we needed to talk." He then blurted out with a deep breath. "I thought about this the whole fucking day! You can't even imagine how much coffee I spilled today and how many mugs I broke - not the paper ones, the _good_ ones, Malik! - just because of you!"

"Why is it my fault that you are clumsy like that?" Malik grinned because he could very well imagine how Altaїr's workday had looked like - probably very much like his own.

"Well because it's your fault!" Altaїr replied matter-of-factly. "I just thought about this thing between us and what it is exactly! I hate it when I don't know what's going on and I have neither the time nor the mind for fooling around like this." He took another deep breath and began rambling again, before Malik could even try to chime in. "God, that's why I did not want to get into that stupid tub in the first place!" - So he could flee the apartment as fast as possible if necessary - "Listen, Malik, when it's just sex that you want, just tell me okay?"

Actually it shouldn’t surprise him, after all Altaїr was still a child, but it did surprise him nonetheless and it left him a little more astonished that he cared to admit when he heard that Altaїr wasn’t just in it for the fun like teenagers his age normally would. "You're really such a kid." Malik commented with a small sigh. He felt almost immediately how Altaїr's muscles tensed again and how he wanted to jump up - probably to flee or to throw his hairdryer into the tub (a present from his mom for whatever inane reason) - but Malik hindered him when he flung his arms around Altaїr's stomach to hold him back in place and pressed a small kiss to his temple.

"When you're having such a hard time to-"

"Don’t start again, Altaїr." Malik finally murmured. He did not know what all this was or where it would take them. The teenager had managed to steal his heart in a matter of hours really and Malik had a hard time admitting this - and he sure as hell wouldn’t say it. For a long moment there was a pause before he finally could bring himself to form words again, while there was just a buzzing sound in his head and while his throat felt like he tried swallowing a whole apple. So he swallowed thickly before he finally began talking feeling Altaїr's anticipation for his words in every twitch and tensing of his back muscles. "Okay listen: You're right. It is a problem for me that you are so fucking young. We are at very different points in our lives, Altaїr. You are just seventeen, maybe you want to go to college at some point - perhaps even in another state - and maybe after that you want to travel through Europe. You're standing at the very beginning of your life and I did all those things. I'm standing with both my feet on the ground and I'm not ready for fooling around anymore. That's no game for me, Altaїr."

"And what do you think this is for me?"

Well … If only he knew this. "Say it."

"I'm tired of getting reduced to my age by you." Altaїr growled and he knew the boy was serious. "I am no child anymore Malik and I don’t like being treated like one."

"And what _do_ you want?" Now it was Altaїr's turn to be silent. "Altaїr look, I don’t know where this is leading us. I don’t know if there is any chance of a future for us, but I am much too old to jump into the unknown. I'm searching for someone to settle down with. I've had my fun and my time of fooling around with other men and now it is about time for me to calm down and I want someone by whom I can be certain that he wants the same things like I."

"You're sounding like an old man." Altaїr sighed. "There is nothing _certain_ in life, Malik and you can't plan all of this. Do you think I planned at eleven to raise my little brothers because no one else would do it? For fuck's sake of course not! I did not also plan to sit here with you now. But that’s how life is and when you're never ready to take a risk there is no chance of happiness in your life - _that_ is certain."

"And what about you? Are you ready to take a risk?" He did not even know why he was smiling, but maybe it was just because Altaїr wasn’t all too wrong. The boy was good in reading Malik or maybe Malik wasn’t so good in hiding his thoughts like he always thought. Altaїr only shrugged his shoulders. Fuck, he shouldn’t even been sitting here with him, he shouldn’t even holding him in his arms like this. He should've closed the door in his face and end this right away.

"Dunno. Actually I just want to enjoy the moment and see where it's leading us."

With a small sigh Malik searched for Altaїr's hands between the boy's legs and pulled them out of the water. For only a few minutes of silence he found joy in hooking their fingers and examine Altaїr's hands not knowing what he should make of Altaїr's words or this whole situation. He could end it right here, right now. Altaїr really had beautiful hands, with long fingers, but they weren't soft at all. It was hands prone to hard work. He noticed some scars on their backs and on their palms and then he observed that he couldn’t bend his left index-finger much due to an old burn that left a big scar over his middle joint. The scar was much softer and smoother than the many other ones.

"You know we don’t have a future together, don’t you?" Malik finally murmured, after Altaїr had dropped his head again back at his collar bone and he felt his little nod. Altaїr was relaxed in his arms no matter his words and Malik felt that the boy enjoyed being so close to him. It wasn’t right what they were doing and they both knew already. It was sad to say it out loud and doom their relationship right from its start, but they were both realistic and Altaїr seemed to handle reality well.

"We'll probably end up killing each other." Altaїr murmured softly, a tender smirk on his full lips while he watched their entwined fingers. "I give us a month…"

Malik chuckled again. "I give us no more than two weeks…"


	6. do you wanna build a snowman?

Malik was starring in a pair of curious eyes looking up to him and examining him like he was some kind of alien species he had to investigate. Probably he was exactly that in the eyes of that kid that was standing in front of him. Suddenly he was an event in the life of that young Sir: He was the guy who fucked his brother - although he hoped that this wasn’t what was happening in this little man's head. Suddenly Malik whished in that very moment that he had been there when Altaїr explained to his brothers that he was gay. It wasn’t that much because he liked to know how the boys had reacted (and because their reactions sure had to be hilarious), but to learn how you do it, even though he himself would never have the chance to confess to his parents anymore.

"Des … Don’t stare…"

Malik did not even need to see his boyfriend's face to know how uncomfortable he felt because his little brother was staring like that at Malik, while the second child - Connor - hid behind his brother's back like he was an oversized shield just to put his little head every now and then through the gap between his brother's arm and his side to have a better look at Malik and on the same instant be able to hide himself again. Altaїr hadn't lied when he said Connor was shy.

Ezio rather leant nearby at a lantern to just watch the scene that was unfolding in front of him after he just greeted Malik with a court nod.

They stood near the entry of Dorchester's now-covered city park, children were playing all around them in the snow, couples enjoyed their time together and that beautiful day with a stroll through the park and every now and then there was a hard-boiled jogger running in circles.  The sky was clear blue, no clouds in sight above their heads and the air was cold as ice. While the three children were dressed for the weather their oldest brother was not, but Malik would have every time in the world to scold him for that afterwards because for now there was only Desmond who mattered. Now the moment had come in which Malik Al-Sayf could exercise everything he learnt from dealing with Kadar. With a small, tender smile he crouched in front of the eight year old boy, so they would be on eye-level before he outstretched his right hand in front of the child (dressed in his favorite black gloves to shield them from the cold).

Malik still remembered the day when he had visited Rauf and saw Desmond already from afar with his big brother, although that event now appeared to be from another life or another time at least. The truth was he now tended to split his life in the term of _before-Altaїr_ (which meant the time before their first date) and _after-Altaїr_ and never in his life had he felt more stupid.

Now that the little boy was standing so close in front of him there was no possibility to deny his relations with Altaїr in any way and Malik caught himself asking if Altaїr had looked like Desmond, when he was a child this age.

"I am Malik." Malik introduced himself friendly and still held his hand outstretched while waiting for a reaction from the boy. The child was a small, maybe even smaller than he should be and he looked thin, but he still had that healthy roundness to his face and those cute pink flushed cheeks from the cold (maybe he was a little bit embarrassed but it was hard to tell after he did not really know the boy). His eyes were darker than Altaїr's, but lighter than Ezio's and had the very same curious shimmer to them like those of the third child of the bundle. His hair was hidden under his blue hat which was pulled down over his tiny ears (probably by Altaїr, like Malik had seen him do before) to protect them from the biting cold around, but Malik was quite certain his hair must've the same color as his boyfriend's.

He saw how Desmond's eyes shot up to his brother's face who still stood behind him like he was trying to assure himself that it was in fact the right Malik who was introduced to him and not some stranger from the street because he was taught not to talk to strangers (Of course Malik did not know for certain, but in consideration of the Altaїr he got to know over those past days it was simply not possible that the seventeen year old hadn’t taught the little ones). He noticed the small nod of Altaїr without even looking up and not until then Desmond grabbed his big hand and mirrored Malik's gesture with all the innocence a little child could muster, while his blue gloves (matching with his scarf and his hat) smoothed themselves into Malik's black ones. "I am Desmond." he mumbled quietly. "Very pleased to meet you, Sir." It was no secret that Altaїr had tried his very best to raise those children to be polite and friendly and Malik couldn’t help but smirk.

"I am very pleased to meet you too, Desmond." He then replied and let go of his hand after he gave it a court shake like real men did. With deep pink cheeks the boy shuffled back a few steps, closer towards Altaїr and Malik's gaze shifted to little Connor, who just then put again his head through the gap between Altaїr's arm and side just to look at Malik with huge dark puppy-eyes, one hand on Altaїr's arm and the other probably on his back. Of course he wore a hat – green – unlike his oldest brother, but the hat couldn’t really manage to hide his long black hair. His hair was down today but Malik knew from Altaїr's stories that he wasn’t allowed to wear it that way normally. The kid had winter holidays so Altaїr probably allowed him this freedom for now because there were no other mean children who would pull on Connor's hair. The jacket the boy wore was too small for him and the arms way too short, but at least the black gloves he wore protected his little fingers, although they appeared way too big like it was in reality Altaїr's gloves. It probably really was Altaїr's gloves. A blue and white striped scarf was wrapped tightly around the small neck of the child so he wouldn’t catch a cold. A sick child was the last Altaїr needed. The oldest of the four brothers finally pulled Connor with gentle violence from behind his back, but Connor did not say a word and Altaїr's cheeks grew pink – exactly like those of the child now between them.

"That's Connor." Altaїr then smirked while Malik remained crouched. He knew that you simply don’t talk down on children although he was now smaller than Connor. He did it like that when he talked to Kadar and his little brother had loved it. Children were much more accessible when you meet them on the same level. Malik refrained from outstretching his hand again, because the boy looked like a deer in the headlights and he probably wouldn’t mirror his gesture like Desmond did, so Malik rather spared them both the embarrassment of that situation. He was just much shyer than Malik had expected him to be.

"I'm glad to meet you, Connor. My name is Malik." With dark pink cheeks Connor lowered his chin to hide an embarrassed smile behind his scarf.

"Are you done now? I'm hungry!" Ezio whined from his lantern where he leant with folded arms and sour face. The longer Malik could see the four brothers in one place, the more he noticed how mismatched and thrown together their clothes looked like and that none of it really fitted any of them. He knew Altaїr was the one who was paying for all the things they needed and Malik knew also that he wasn’t nearly earning enough money to dress three children properly with his little half-day-job. If he could he would probably have more than just this one job just to be able to get his brothers everything they needed, but because Desmond was still so little he rather was at home in the afternoons so he could help them with their homework and to play with them. When they were lacking material stuff they shouldn’t be lacking emotional closeness, love and affection and attention at least. Malik just did not even want to understand how hard it must be to manage life with so little money especially now when the little ones were growing so fast that they would outgrow their clothes every month. A small part of him wanted to help, but he already knew Altaїr wouldn’t accept his help or money. Maybe he could at least bring Altaїr to accept Kadar's old clothes for the little ones.

Malik stood up again and now he finally had time to greet his boyfriend properly. He had arrived sooner than the boys in the park and he had spent his time planning what he would say and what he would do. For Malik it had come naturally to greet the children first so they wouldn’t think Malik would find them annoying. But now he grinned when he noticed how uncomfortable Altaїr felt kissing him in front of his brothers although it was just a short, sweet peck on his lips.

Altaїr tried to hide his embarrassment but his pink ears told Malik the truth. "Ewwwwww~" It came from Desmond. Malik looked a little irritated down to the boy who stood half between them but to his relieve Desmond did not appear disgusted with them at all. Malik knew how much he asked from those children when he kissed their brother in front of them, so shortly after Altaїr had told him he was dating a guy (Desmond's reaction would be pretty much the same if Malik would be a woman) but he also knew that it wouldn’t be helping to hide in front of the children. They needed to learn what it meant when their brother said he was gay – although he wouldn’t dare _canoodling_ with Altaїr in front of them – and that Malik was more than just a buddy. With a small sigh he ruffled through Altaїr's short brown hair. "You'll catch your death, you idiot." He pointed toward the lack of winter clothing.

"Hey! I really mean it! I am starving!"

He saw how Altaїr only rolled his eyes about the bratty behavior of his little brother who suddenly seemed to feel it was necessary to behave like a three year old, but then Malik grinned when he took a few steps back. "What do you like to eat then, fine Sir?" Altaїr grumbled and suddenly Ezio's face changed his expression, suddenly he appeared to be a little bit … yeah … ashamed? His cheeks were tinted ever so slightly in a light pink, but it could as well be caused by the cold. Ezio just shrugged his broad shoulders.

"Dunno … What do the kids wanna eat?" He then murmured when he finally parted from his new friend - the lantern - to bridge the distance between them. Just like Altaїr Ezio was that kind of big brother who would fit in his little brothers wishes and that was a trait Malik was familiar with. When you are a big brother you just want to see your younger siblings happy even though that would mean you have to eat something you don’t like. That was what it meant to be a big brother. And Malik remembered very vividly the many occasions with Kadar in which his little brother forced him into their hometown's McDonalds or when he had to eat his brother's left overs (because you don’t waste food) even though he would rather cut of his left arm. These were the things that simply weren't included in the job advertisement when you apply for the role of a big brother. There is no privacy in your life as soon as you get a younger sibling. Your bed isn’t your bed anymore; it is your brother's possession to do with as he pleases just like you yourself are. You want to eat a sandwich real quick? Na-ah! Not with your little hungry brother around. You want to hang out with your buddies? Well then put some shoes on your little brother's feed. You simply will never be alone again for the rest of your life if you like it or not.

Suddenly his left hand was captivated by two other smaller ones which pulled at him so Malik would start walking and gift his undivided attention to the little imp by his side. Desmond had already embraced his power over his brothers since he was the youngest in this family. In a command structure in which the oldest just wanted to make the younger ones happy, the youngest was King. "I want a hotdog!"  The boy demanded with sparkling eyes but Altaїr simply grabbed the collar of his jacket to hold the little one back before Desmond could even manage to drag Malik with him.

"What did you say?" The oldest asked in a stern voice, towering over his brother like a dark figure and Desmond made a face, when he finally stopped pulling at Malik's arm – but did not let go of his hand. Malik knew that Altaїr did not hold him back because he raised him to be more polite and less demanding (which he surely did), but more because Desmond should behave decent in front of his boyfriend. It was kinda cute though. "I _would like_ a hotdog _please_ , Malik."

Malik did not even know why the baby asked _him_ to fulfil his wish and not the kindergarten teacher on duty, behind which still – or rather _again_ – a twelve year old preteen hid, like he was worried Malik could eat him otherwise, but Malik simply grinned. "If you would like to eat a hotdog, we can arrange that, but perhaps we should ask Connor first what he would like to have, what do you think?"

Again the face of the older child lit up as red as a beet but his eyes twinkled and told Malik just like this that the boy wasn’t asked often about his opinion or his wishes. After all Altaїr had told him about the boy Malik could very well imagine that Connor was that type of a kid who rather take a step back with regards to his little brother's wishes. Desmond really was a hand-full of work, Altaїr warned him about that, but at least he did not seem to be a kid who would scream or have a temper tantrum just because he did not get was he wanted or because it wouldn’t go after his little nose (Kadar was such a kid).

"I would like to have a cocoa…" Connor mumbled very quietly and embarrassed behind Altaїr when he finally became fully aware of the stares of his brother's and Malik. It was a novelty for this boy to have all the attention.

"But you can't eat that!" Desmond grouched impatient with his older sibling.

"You need to eat something, Connor." Altaїr smirked when he pulled the hat of the boy a little bit deeper over his ears and grabbed his hand. Connor just nodded and just like that the topic was settled because Connor did not seem to want to make use of his veto-rights. He did not look exactly that thrilled by the thought of eating a hotdog, but … oh well, Connor was a big brother. Malik would make sure that the little guy would get his cocoa, at last he was the oldest of them all and with that it was his job to make sure that all four of them would be happy today.

He still couldn’t understand how it all came down to this so fast. How was it even possibly that Altaїr, a boy that wasn’t nearly what Malik wanted for his life, managed to steal his heart in that short of a time. How was it even possible for Malik to stand here in a snow covered park with Altaїr and his little brothers and to feel that this was absolutely normal and natural and _right_ like he was a part of this family all his life?

At last the five started walking again and Desmond still refrained from letting his hand go, instead he began to blabber about how stupid his school and his teachers were, like they would know each other their whole life (Also he dropped the formal tone he had with Malik fast). Every now and then Malik caught Altaїr how he flashed them a small glance. He seemed relieved that Desmond liked him so much, because the little boy wouldn’t leave his side the rest of the afternoon. After Altaїr bought the hotdogs for his brothers (Ezio managed to get rid of his in not more than two seconds and wolfed down Altaїr's hotdog also after the oldest assured him that he wasn’t hungry anyway, while Connor fought against the snack with slow and little bites and Desmond looked like he was floating on cloud nine) Malik had to accept that Desmond had chosen him to be his new play-buddy.

When someone had told him a year ago he would find himself playing in the snow with his boyfriends siblings to build a snowman in the park of Dorchester, he would’ve committed that person in a matter of seconds to the psych ward, but it was exactly what he did now, while Altaїr and Ezio sat nearby on a bench watching them. Altaїr looked somewhat strange sitting on that bench and watching the three of them and listening just with half an ear to his brother's rambling. Altaїr really seemed relieved that Desmond liked him so much that he made Malik his new slave, but his eyes also told him that he was watching him very closely and with suspicion. Malik couldn’t hold it against him, after all he wasn’t related to the children and he wouldn’t be the first guy stealing himself into the life of a family to do something to the children. Malik in fact was even a little relieved that Altaїr was so suspicious towards him. Altaїr wasn’t naïve and that put Malik's mind really at ease.

Just when he helped Connor with the second ball of the snowman's body, after they rolled this one with their combined forces, Malik threw again a small gaze towards the bench and noticed just then how Ezio pulled his hand out of his brother's jacket before Altaїr closed the zipper of his too thin jacket again. Malik only furrowed his brows but then tried to act like he hadn’t noticed it at all just to flash them again a hidden glance. Ezio's face was a mix of anger and worry when he rambled on with wide gestures, but Altaїr just stood after he waved dismissively at his younger brother and shoved his left hand into the pocket of his jacket. Ezio looked after him with a gloomy face, but Altaїr ignored the sixteen year old (years and years of training) and just started helping Desmond with the last ball to finish building the snowman.

"What do you think about warming up in a café?" Malik then turned to the group even though Ezio remained on his newly acquired bench. The kids were exited immediately but Altaїr's face was worried even though he smiled.

"There is a Starbucks nearby!" Desmond then exclaimed, but Connor flashed him a stern look. "That's way too expensive, Des." The boy hadn’t talked that much until now, but Malik liked him. Altaїr was right after all, Connor really was the calmest of them four, because Desmond and Ezio were bursting with energy (although Ezio behaved more like a sloth right now). On the other hand even Altaїr had proven to Malik how much energy he had inside him. The seventeen year old shivered while he helped Desmond and Malik could barely stand the sight of him moving the snow with bare hands, but he knew Altaїr would accept neither his scarf nor his gloves and would just say he wasn’t cold at all. His fingers could fall of from the cold and he still would say he wasn’t cold!

"I invite you." Malik commented Connor's worry with a small smile.

"No need for that, I have enough money with me." Altaїr murmured.

"But when I _want_ to invite you?"

"Well I don't let you anyway." Of course he wouldn’t, what else was Malik expecting of his ultra-stubborn boyfriend?

"Well it's good then, that you have nothing to say when it comes to the question how I spent my money." There they stood, both with crossed arms and neither one of them ready to take a step back from their positions while the little ones stood beside them watching them clueless. Altaїr's eyes were relentless just like Malik's own. This was a battle they wouldn’t fight for the last time. And then it was Malik who gave up, in an affront to his own nature. Normally he would’ve waited until Altaїr would’ve give in and pushed away his pride, but he knew it was the wrong way. Altaїr was proud for managing all of this without any help whatsoever until now. He cared for his brothers for nearly seven years now and Malik knew well enough that this job in the coffee shop wasn’t his first. He had delivered newspapers when he was younger, had ran through the streets in the early morning hours to lay the papers down in front of the doors (laying, not throwing because that had made his mother angry), because he neither had a bicycle nor could he ride one. Altaїr was that kind of boy who was well known in the whole neighborhood for helping paint your fence or help you to tidy up your garage or help you with little errands just for a very small payment. He was busy and committed when he did something, so Malik let him. At least in that they were very much alike. They both were proud men and sometimes no physical injury could be as brutal as a hurt pride.

"Okay, you've won, moron." Malik finally grinned before he took off his own dark-red scarf and held it towards the boy. Altaїr kept his stubborn and closed demeanor and just lifted one brow quizzically.

"I'm not cold."

Oh for god's sake! Malik looked down to the kids, but Desmond only shrugged his shoulders and made a face while Connor tucked a little helpless on his way too big gloves. He did not even need to look towards the bench to know that Ezio was still starring at them. With a sigh he stepped closer and when he noticed how his boyfriend tried to take a step back, his left arm shot forwards to wrap around Altaїr's back and hold him in place so he could wrap the scarf around his neck. "Be nice." Malik simply grinned with that and then much more hushed – oh so hushed: "Otherwise you don’t leave me another chance than punishing you tonight."

Altaїr's cheeks were flushed red again – because of the cold, like Altaїr would say – and his ears were also, but the boy gave his best to act unimpressed. "Who said I would come tonight?"

And now it was Malik's turn to lift his eyebrows. They hadn’t been separate just one single night since they met the first time outside the coffee shop. Even when Altaїr would be angry with him (although that was a rarer occasion than Malik being angry with Altaїr) the boy would stand in front of his door at least to tell Malik how stupid he was. It was a little easier since Ezio knew about them; Altaїr was much more relaxed when he was with him. The afternoons would still belong to his brothers and Malik would be much more concerned when he would neglect his siblings because of him.

His look alone was enough to make a grin appear on Altaїr's stern face and to lose the knot in his folded arms again, before the boy pulled the scarf a little higher into his face. For just a second Malik was certain the boy just wanted to sniff at the fabric, but then he just pinched his cheek and parted form him again. He wouldn’t even bother denying that he missed Altaїr's warmth immediately. Even now in that cold the guy managed to lull him into his body warmth and to seduce him to stay close. The boy was a living heater anyway and he made most nights unbearable like this. How would it be in summer, when his personal hot water bottle wanted to cuddle? On the other hand … how good were their chances to be still together when summer came? He had given them two weeks and he meant that.

"I am cold…" Connor's voice sounded next to them when he fished for his brother's hand, now that their work – the snowman – was finished.

Just minutes after that the group of five barged into the nearby Starbucks and Malik's looks alone could tell that he disliked such companies very much. He rather had a boy named Altaїr with a smug grin behind the counter who would scribble his name onto the cup and would put a ton of sugar into his coffee on purpose, than a Jenny or a Katy with their extremely friendly smiles. Their eyes met only for a moment, when the little ones ran towards the counter to look with big eyes at the snacks and desserts. Malik did not even need to see their faces to know how their mouths watered by the sight of cakes and cupcakes. Altaїr only flashed him a small grin like he would know exactly what was happening in Malik's head and he probably really did, well at least it wouldn't surprise him.

Ezio was the last to enter the shop behind them before they closed the gap between them and the kids which pressed their little noses not so very elegant or discreet against the glass. The waitress seemed undecided if she should laugh or scold. It really did not take long for Desmond to offer his wish, while Connor was again a little bit like a Bamby (he would rather whisper his wish to his brother then saying it out loud), but Desmond simply knew no shame whatsoever. The boy already knew what he wanted and he would express his wishes just because he was the smallest of them and when you don’t manage to open your mouth when you are the smallest you will starve. Kadar had known this also. Spoiled little brat. Desmond's eyes twinkled by the sight of that extreme-chocolaty-chocolate-cake that was on display, so it wasn’t really that surprising that Desmond wanted to have exactly that with his cocoa while Ezio just wanted a simple coffee. It wasn’t just Malik who saw how Altaїr fiddled inside his wallet, desperate to find some spare coins or at best a hidden note so he could also pay for Connor's wishes, because when he turned with a nervous smile towards his younger sibling Connor dropped a little embarrassed his gaze.

"I don't want anything." Connor murmured.

Malik knew his boyfriend already well enough to know that those where the situations which broke his little heart, but Altaїr did not say anything, only pulled the hat off of Connor's head so he could pet through his tuft of black hair, before he turned towards the cash register to pay. Desmond got his cake and his cocoa and the twelve year old followed his little brother silent to a table nearby, just like Ezio when he got his coffee. Neither of them was mad with the youngest because of the cake or because that extra order had caused Altaїr to not have enough money for all of them. Desmond was just eight years old and he simply did not know better. Money was a vague idea for him. He knew you need it to buy stuff, but he really did not know the value. Altaїr stayed by his side for a moment at the counter and watched his brothers a little lost before Malik put a hand on his right shoulder while he looked at him sideways.

"Fuck … I haven’t even enough money to buy them cocoa and cake, what will become of us when we are alone?" He then finally blurted so silent that only Malik could hear him. "What did I think? I can't possibly live alone with them; pay the rent and all this other stupid stuff. How will this even function when I can't even buy Connor that god damned cocoa in a fucking Starbucks?"

Of course it wasn’t just that cocoa or Desmond's cake or this afternoon in that coffee shop and Malik was very well aware of the fact that he couldn't just take the worries and fears of the boy from him and it wouldn’t be right to try that either. Sure, Malik had the money those boys so desperately needed. It would be easy for him to buy them a house, new schoolbooks and clothes, but that wasn’t the solution of this problem and for Malik it was a little bit relieving that Altaїr wouldn’t just accept his money. He had met enough men already which thought of him as a possibly sugar-daddy until they fell face down to the ground. It impressed him that Altaїr wanted to make it by himself.

There was just Malik's hand on his boyfriend's shoulder when Altaїr shoved his empty wallet back into his pants. The month wasn’t nearly over yet and Altaїr's paycheck not even around the corner. There was nothing he could answer to his questions and he knew Altaїr did not want an answer anyway. "Come on, sit down, I'll be right there, Babe." He then murmured and gave him a little shove. Normally Malik was no one who used pet names with his lover and it was a rare occasion when he did so with Altaїr too, but when he did he did it to soothe this boy a little and did not even know if it worked. A little reluctant Altaїr staggered towards the table and looked more like he was walking towards his execution. Connor did not look sad at all, but he did not need to so his brother would feel guilty, although Connor wasn’t the type who would try to make his brother feel guilty in any way. Unlike his younger brother Connor already knew how things were and probably also that his oldest brother was giving his very best.

Just when Altaїr finally sat down with his brothers Malik turned again towards the waitress and just minutes later he walked with a tray full with Coffee, cocoa and cake towards the table. Ezio was the first to notice all the food and snacks and for a moment he appeared torn between joy and anger. The result was a very weird look on the young face. With the clatter of silverware and porcelain Malik put down the tray in the middle of the table before he sat down opposite of his boyfriend. Malik decided to ignore Altaїr's sour expression before he shoved a piece of chocolate cake and the cocoa towards Connor.

Ezio was the first to speak, after Malik had gestured towards the tray with that universal gesture of _help yourselves_. The sixteen year old leant back in his chair with crossed arms and did not even look at the cake although Malik had seen that it hadn't been just the little ones with the watery mouths in front of the cake display. "We don’t need alms." he snorted. Ezio did not have just Altaїr's bullhead, he also had this false pride of his brother. There he sat: Altaїr's delayed twin and seemed really close to pour his coffee over Malik's pants.

But Altaїr cleared his throat extra loud so Ezio's eyes shifted towards him, although Altaїr did not even move his head and only flashed him a dark and gloomy look, before he looked again at Malik. "Thank you, but Ezio is right, Malik. We are alright."

While Desmond was floating on his sugary-high it was Connor whose gaze shifted between their faces a little nervous and undecided if he should eat the cake in front of him or if he should take his brothers' sides. The boy was caught between two stools but his loyalty was clear as daylight and for his brothers he would even manage to gather the strength for denying a piece of delicious, delicious cake and a sip of a warm cocoa with cream on top no matter how seducing it really looked, no matter how much he yearend for it. Malik on the other hand decided to not even bother with forming an answer instead he grabbed the slide of the strawberry cake and placed it right under Altaїr's cute nose. They did not know each other for a long time, but he already knew his boyfriend was a sweet-tooth. "Nobody says you're not, Altaїr." He then finally answered with serious face. "I know you're doing well. You managed your lives just fine until know without me around and you did not starve without me. But I simply want to pamper you guys just a little for now, so just let me."

The brothers weren't exactly thrilled, but Desmond's eyes shifted greedily towards Altaїr's cake. "Can I have your cake, if you don’t want it?" Desmond certainly would wolf all the cakes on the table down if they would let him. Just one more similarity to add between the brothers was brought to Malik's knowledge, with Desmond's childish naiveté and his inability to control himself when it comes to sweets. Altaїr's reaction was fast, when he grabbed his plate and pulled it closer to himself and farer away from the greedy child. That was the okay which Connor waited for and finally the twelve year old began devouring the sweets.

It was already dark outside when the troops arrived at Malik's flat. If it was for Malik the boys would stay the night. He liked the kids even though Connor was still a little bit silent and shy towards him. He even liked Ezio no matter how grumpy he was or how much he tried to show him the cold shoulder, but he knew that he couldn’t just house them. Someday they would maybe stay all over night at his place, just once, but this day hadn’t come yet and so they simply should warm up a little before Malik would drive them home. "We can take the bus, you know?" Altaїr tried and ignored the fact that he had no money whatsoever to pay for the ride.

"Yeah you could but you could also just let me drive you home."

He wouldn’t force his boyfriend to drive around the city that late with a bunch of kids when his own car was big enough for the five of them and was just down in the parking lot. Altaїr only growled when he finally slipped out of his jacket to hang it on the coat rag so he could help Desmond with his winter clothes. "What is it with your shoulder?" Malik finally sighed, because he had noticed the whole day how Altaїr would flinch or make a face when he did something with his left shoulder. Again he thought about this one situation with Ezio and Altaїr in the park when Ezio pulled back his hand out of his brother's jacket. He tried to not think about it too much which weird behavior the brothers showed, but now when Altaїr again made a small grimace of pain while he helped Desmond to part from his jacket, he couldn’t hold it back any longer.

Altaїr had no chance to answer him and maybe it was for the better so Malik wouldn’t need to bear another ridiculous _"It's nothing"_ from his mouth. "Just look at his shoulder, Malik! He won't listen to me!"

"Shut up, Ezio, I'm okay."

"Yeah we all can see that, brother dear. When you are okay you can show us your stupid shoulder, right?"

"Dear god, Ezio, I swear if you don’t shut up already I will-"

"Show it to me, Altaїr." Malik's voice was firm and he wouldn't take any protest, when he hung Connor's jacket on a hanger and on the coat rag. He was no friend of playing hide-and-seek or to beat about the bush, but Altaїr looked down at the kids and Malik understood.

"Hey would you like to watch TV, guys?" Malik smiled after he bent down a little towards them, his hands flat onto his knees. Of course Desmond was exited while Connor war a little more uncertain like always, but he let Desmond grab his hand nonetheless so the youngest could pull him with him. For Desmond this whole day must've been like a visit to Disneyland. "And you two" With that Malik turned again towards the older brothers still standing by the coat rag. "You will wait in the kitchen for me. Enough of that bullshit." Not until than Malik turned fully around to walk the younger ones towards his living room so he could turn on the TV for them. Desmond had no problem whatsoever to make himself comfortable on Malik's big couch and to look with eyes full of expectations to the still black TV. Just for a short moment Malik sat down on the edge of the couch that was closest to Connor (when the boy finally crawled next to his brother) after he turned on the TV and started zapping trough the channels until he found the kids channel. There was some stupid movie with a blue monster on, which Malik couldn’t name at all. Kadar probably could. Malik was about to stand up again to leave them alone with the movie, when Connor's small hand grabbed his arm to hold him back.

The gaze of his big brown puppy eyes met Malik's questioning gaze. His hair was a mess from pulling of his hat and the winter clothes again and his cheeks were still flushed pink, no way to tell if they looked like this because of shame or because of the cold outside. "Are you mad with Altaїr?"

"No. At least not more than normally." Malik smirked and couldn’t help but ruffle through the tuft of black hair. There simply was no way someone could resist the urge to do that with hair like Connor's and to his relieve the boy did not even flinched a bit. But the boy did not seem to be satisfied with his answer – or he did not understand.

"So … you won't break-up with him?" of course Malik hadn’t really expected a question like this from the boy, but he was glad that Connor seemed to like him so much that he was afraid he would dump his brother or maybe he just did not want his brother to be sad, but the chances were high that Connor really liked him and wanted to have him in his brother's life.

"Don’t worry little moth. I don’t have any reason to do something like that for now." And with that Connor finally let go of his arm so Malik could stand up again. Before he left the room he looked back at the brothers again and saw how Desmond shuffled a little tired closer to Connor and leant against him and how the older one just wrapped his arm around him in an unspoken invitation for cuddling. At first it did not seem normal at all that a twelve year old and an eight year old would cuddle like that when it was their job to fight, but Malik couldn’t help but notice that Altaїr had done something very much right in the parenting of his brothers or that the surroundings at home were really that bad that it drew the brothers closer and closer together. Maybe both answers were right.

He did not close the kitchen door, only left it ajar so they would here the kids if something was wrong and found the two brothers exactly where he ordered them to be when he would come back. Ezio sat on one of the chairs by the table and Altaїr proved how good his behavior was while sitting on the kitchen counter and letting his long legs dangle. He did not seem happy with the situation at all and looked more like a sulking kid and Malik was happy to ignore it.

"Go on then, down with the shirt or else _I_ will pull it off."

"Wow there! Could we at least send Ezio away before you try to get into my panties?" He tried a grin but he failed miserably and to Malik's biggest surprise it was Ezio who came to Malik's aid.

"Oh dear lord just take off your stupid shirt, Altaїr! You wanted to have this guy and no you'll have to bear with his nosiness!"

"I can still break up with him, if you want that!" Altaїr spat, but Ezio waved dismissively, his face stony.

"But you can't break up with me. You'll have to endure me until you die."

"Well if only I knew that back than I would-"

"Altaїr would you cut that bullshit already and take off your fucking shirt?"

Altaїr wasn’t just enthroned like an eagle o Malik's kitchen counter; he looked also like one with his sharp, piercing amber eyes. For just a moment – a moment which sure was an eternity for Ezio – the men just glared at each other again waiting for the other to give up. This time Malik wouldn’t step back from his position and at some point Altaїr sighed and slumped down from the kitchen counter back to his feet with an annoyed _"for all I care!"_ and took off his shirt. Alone this movement caused his lips to become a thin line just for the sake of prevent some pained sound.

 _"For fuck's sake, Altaїr!"_ That was Malik's first and very natural reaction to what he saw. It wasn’t just the big blue and purple bruise that covered most of his left shoulder and collarbone, which certainly hadn’t been there tonight, but also all those little bruises decorating his pale skin and mostly his left side and chest. Malik had seen many little faded bruises already on his boyfriend's body, but nothing like this nasty bruise on his shoulder.

"Yeah … I said the same thing." Ezio replied unimpressed and Malik did not know if he should shake the boy or if he rather ignored his stupid words. Altaїr on the other side was suspiciously quiet in this moment.

"What happened?" oh, Malik knew what happened, Bill happened, this faceless stranger who liked beating children which were dependent of him and which couldn’t simply fight back or ran away.

"What do you think happened? Our stepdad happened." Ezio spat and Altaїr just made a grimace. They all knew Altaїr did not want Ezio to say it out loud, no matter how loud his own bruises told the tale of an abusive stepfather. Very slowly Malik stepped closer just like he was afraid Altaїr could flinch like a traumatized animal. Carefully he touched the bruise on his shoulder with just his fingertips, but even this very tender touch let Altaїr flinch in pain. Malik was boiling with rage when he turned towards his fridge and grabbed a pack of frozen peas from the ice-box, wrapped it into a thin towel and gave it to Altaїr so the boy could press it against his wound.

"I want to know exactly what happened." Malik's voice was calm and collected, but his deep, rumbling voice wouldn't accept any kind of protest and no fucking around anymore. Altaїr knew he shouldn’t mess with Malik as soon as he would use exactly this voice. Malik would never hurt his boyfriend, would never harm him in anyway no matter how much Altaїr would annoy or provoke him, but he was tired of this bullshit and he wouldn’t go any further when he wouldn’t get a truthful answer right now.

Where did he get himself into? He had known right from the start (right from that very moment in that coffee shop when he saw Altaїr for the very first time with his silly Band-Aids in his face and with those bruises in his face) that this boy was living a life full of problem and even though it was exactly what Malik did not want it was exactly what he got. It was this very moment when he couldn’t help but think _this is your last chance to end it, Malik. As soon as he will open his mouth there is no way back_. Of course there was a way back. There was nothing that could hinder him from kicking them boys out of his apartment after Altaїr finally told him the whole truth. That was what he would normally do, wasn’t it? That was what he did with Alex, after he told him the truth. Malik was not interested in having problems like that in his life. He wanted a boyfriend who was sweet, cute and funny and intelligent, who could stand on his own two feet, who knew what he wanted from life, who earned his own money, who managed his own household and who wanted the very same things like he. He wanted a partnership and no child to take care of. He wanted someone who could help him with _his_ problems and who could catch him when the inevitable would happen and when he would have to give up Kadar forever.

And then again there was Altaїr, this boy – this kid – who gave too much for the wellbeing of his beloved little brothers and who could be sweet and cute and funny when they were alone and who was so incredibly intelligent that Malik sometimes couldn’t even follow his thoughts. This boy, who seemed to know exactly what he wanted from life and who could stand on his own two feet, because he had no one to hold his hand and who managed his own household with three children. And who would be more suitable to catch him when the inevitable would happen and when he had to give up his little brother forever than a boy who could fathom nothing worse in the world than to lose one of his brothers?

He could turn it as he liked, he could himself let be bothered by Altaїr's age and his problems all he want and as long as he wanted but the one fact that remained would stay the same: Altaїr was already the _partner_ he had hoped for and it was right was Altaїr said on their third … _date_. You can't plan your life like a story and everything _will_ be a whole lot different and maybe that was the exiting part about life and maybe Altaїr would make his life better despite all those problems when Malik would just try to hang on - it would be more exiting at least that was for sure.

He noticed how Altaїr looked to his brother and how he couldn’t bring himself to answer Malik although he had the gift of gab.

"Bill was angry because he found out that I got an E in math." Ezio then finally sighed when he proved mercy with Malik's strained nerves and leant back on his chair. Some of the strands of his hair had come free from his hair band and now framed his face. He looked younger like that.

"And why is it that _he_ is looking like that?"

"Because my brother is an idiot, Malik. Because my brother always throws himself between us and him and because my brother rather let himself get beaten to a bloody pulp on the floor than to fight back." Ezio's voice was bitter and his face an ugly grimace of anger, helplessness and shame. Anger because the bruises his brother got because of him, helplessness because he could do nothing to help his brother just like the little ones and shame because he hadn't even tried to stop it. All those things he could read from Ezio's face, just because the boy was an open book to him. He did not hide anything from the world unlike Altaїr.

"I just came back from shopping when I heard the yelling and screaming." Altaїr then murmured. "So I ran inside and stopped him when he tried hitting Ezio." Malik could see the words that were on the tip of his tongue in his face _"Like every god damn time"_ and Ezio's face told him that he could as well.

"And then he went after you." Malik concluded with a sigh and when Altaїr tried to remove the frozen peas from his shoulder he pressed them more firm against the cold skin and simply ignored this hiss of pain he caused.

"Sure he did." Ezio grumbled. "He threw him against a wall and the idiot hit it with his shoulder. Bill is a beast, when he throws you against something you can be happy when there are no broken bones afterwards."

Malik ruffled his hair because he did not know what else to do. "Why don’t you report him to the police, Altaїr?" He already knew the answer. He did not report him because of the very same reason why Malik did not do it no matter the bruises he spotted on Altaїr's body in the past days.

"You know why Malik." He growled. "Other than that the police wouldn’t do anything. Those guys will come when it's already too late or when you don’t want their help. They just make things worse even when they don’t do anything."

"Yeah right…" Ezio mumbled tiredly. "I remember the one time when I called the cops because Bill attacked Desmond. I think … when was that?" He turned to his brother for help because Altaїr had a better memory when it came to dates or numbers … or the more serious things in life.

"Three years ago. I was fourteen, Desmond was about to turn five a few days later. Des played with some of those stupid models of Bill and broke it by accident." The oldest remembered and Malik already knew how the story would end. Altaїr's face was a stoic mask when he began the tale of which Malik wasn’t even sure if he wanted to hear the end of it.

"Yes … The police came shortly after I called, but because Altaїr protected Desmond and because there was no evidence they left again. After that the real terror started. I think Altaїr couldn’t go to school for three days after this." And it was just now that Altaїr's expression shifted to a small frown and his lips curled as if he had bitten into a lemon like Ezio reminded him of a bad date and not of the day when he got beaten bloody, when he finally said: "Yeah … I missed a math-test because of that and wasn’t allowed to catch up on the test. I got an F because of it."

He sounded like this was way worse than the beating. It was never harder in his entire life to control himself enough to not shout at those two boys who talked about all that like it was normal, like it was just another ordinary day in their lives and the tragedy of the situation was that it seemed to be exactly like that. It was normal for those children to get beaten and abused on a daily basis and Malik couldn't wish more that it would be different. No child deserved to get treated like this, but still – whatever Altaїr did all those years – they still could laugh and smile. They were strong, much stronger than expected and none of them four kids was broken. In this very moment Malik just wanted to jump into his car and drove to that hellhole of Dorchester and to punch Bill Miles' head so hard and so often against a wall that nothing would be left - neither from his face nor from his brains. "Just … Just let me do something … anything at all. Just let me drive there and let me give him his own medicine."

He knew neither Altaїr nor Ezio ware sissies, even though Altaїr appeared to be haggard and thin and likewise weak. He knew those two could easily beat up Bill for all he did to them, but they still had the brains to refrain from violence, because they knew as well as Malik which consequences it would have if they did. The police would go against them, the youth welfare office would go against them, Altaїr would go straight to jail and they would separate the other three from one another. They rather endure the beatings and the fear which accompanied them every day then risking being separated from one another. Those two were a strong unit, the four of them were, but it was Ezio and Altaїr who were carrying the heaviest weight. And Malik had not doubt at all that Altaїr would go straight to jail for something stupid his younger brother would do. He would take the blame no matter what and that was a frightening thought for Malik. Altaїr needed no hero, nor a knight in shining armor to protect him from the dangers of the world or the beatings, but he needed someone to protect him from himself.

He felt Altaїr's hand on his forearm and when he looked at his face the next time at least Altaїr's eyes weren't so full of anger towards him anymore. Malik had no clue what was going on in the head of Altaїr and he wished it would be different, but he knew his eyes could betray his emotions. It wasn’t easy to read them if Altaїr did not want him to. "Just let it be, Malik. He isn’t worth the trouble. It's just one more month to endure that and then we will finally be free and don’t need to think about him anymore."

Yes, Malik thought, the 11th of January, the day when the martyrdom of those children would finally and hopefully find it's end and Malik promised to himself he would do something when they wouldn’t make it on their own.

Malik nodded and then took those stupid frozen peas from Altaїr's shoulder just so he could gently brushed his thump over the bruise before he cupped his face with his left hand and stroked the soft skin with his thump. "You have to promise me, that you will call me when something like this happens again." And they both knew he wouldn't. Altaїr nodded nonetheless, but Malik's gaze shifted intrusive towards Ezio, because all three of them knew Altaїr was lying. Ezio nodded swiftly so his brother wouldn’t see it and Malik knew Ezio would call him. He trusted him, because Ezio did not want to see his brother hurt or dead and maybe it wasn’t just love that bound them together. Maybe it was also cowardice that bound Ezio to Altaїr, because if Altaїr would die he was alone with the little ones and then it would be his job to stand between them and the danger.

"We should go home now." Altaїr sighed before he grabbed his shirt with his good arm to put it on again – what he could manage nearly painless with Malik's help. But the plan of the older brother were baffled as soon at the three men entered the living room again and just found two sleeping kids on the couch, knocked out from the adventures of that day and at least one of them still in sugar-coma.

Altaїr moaned lowly when he turned to Ezio with an amused and annoyed glimmer in his eyes. "You take Desmond, I'll grab Connor." He ordered his younger brother but Ezio wouldn’t obey and just put his hands to his hips. He looked tired and not nearly as willingly to obey Altaїr's orders as Altaїr was used to. "Oh come on, that's just stupid, Eaglet. Just let us stay here over night."

Normally Malik would fight against every guest that would invite himself in for the night and would have thrown the person right out of the flat with his own two hands., but he really couldn’t hold it against Ezio that he wanted to stay and grant his little brothers one peaceful night, other than that he was right and so Malik shuffled next to Ezio – away from his boyfriend – and laid his hand on the shoulder of the sixteen year old. Altaїr faced a newly formed alliance that just existed to annoy him. "If it's okay for Ezio to sleep on an airbed tonight, I have no problem with this. We could also try to extend the couch without waking the kids."

Altaїr made a face, but then he gave another moan of defeat and threw his hands in the air because he already knew he had no fucking chance whatsoever when the both of them would work against him. A wise man, this Altaїr. "Oh believe me" Altaїr sighed. "At least Desmond will sleep through a tornado. You could as well let a band walk through here without waking him."

 _Yeah, that must run in the family,_ Malik thought before they started to work. The night was still young when Altaїr crawled in bed right next to him and pulled his thick blanket over his body and still they felt utterly exhausted from the day. Malik felt Altaїr's eyes on him – well more so on his shirt to be correct and Malik watched how his brows made their way towards his hairline very slowly and cautious.

"Okay seriously" He yawned and did not even bother holding a hand to his mouth. Very attractive. "Why do you even have a _pink_ shirt which says _best mom in the world_? Is there anything I should know?"

Malik really wasn’t sure if he should be annoyed or amused by this, when he laid his book on his nightstand and dropped his glasses on top. He would not have the chance to just read one more page tonight, not when Mr. Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad – his very annoying boyfriend – was in the mood to chatter. "Did you notice this just now?" He replied dryly and likewise with raised eyebrows.

"Of course not, but up until now there were more important things." He grinned when he got himself obnoxiously  comfortable in Malik's bed like he owned the fucking place (in other words he slid as close to Malik as he could and dropped his head against his shoulder, ready to steal his pillow and blanket from him to leave him shivering and miserable).

"That was a gift from my brother."

"Kadar gave you this? Aha … But why in the world should he give you something like this? Now tell me the truth Mister, do you have a whole bunch of children running around and are you living a secret double life?" A small pinch into the cute nose of the half Syrian boy was Malik's answer.

"Well why do little brothers give anything to you? To annoy you of course. Kadar is an annoying brat; annoying brats do something like this." And Malik couldn’t even frame in words how much he wished to be annoyed by his beloved little brother again. The truth was, this shirt was the last thing Kadar gave to him, his present to his twenty fifth birthday which he presented with a smug face and giggling laughter.

Altaїr chuckled softly. "I want to meet him someday."

Of course Malik told him about the accident which killed his parents, but he never told him what happened with Kadar. It was too painful to talk about to someone, with exception of Rauf who knew about all this and would ask him sometimes about Kadar. Altaїr did not ask him after Malik assured him that Kadar was still alive but not with him and Malik knew it wasn’t lack in interest but understanding that Malik would talk to him about his brother when the right moment would finally come. Altaїr possessed many virtues but patience wasn’t among them, all the more it honored him that he proved patience with that topic and Malik's pain.

"You will." Malik promised and did not even know if he could hold it or if it was just an empty shell, but at least he wished it was the truth. He wished Kadar would meet this man and that he would meet Malik's _new family_ and that he would love them and become a part of it.

"I would love to have the chance of meeting your parents too." He then murmured softly and his breath tickled Malik's neck just a little. In the past, _before-Altaїr_ , it had been a painful topic if someone ever mentioned his parents in any way, but they shared the same fate, they both were just orphans and Altaїr knew his loss and his mourning. Underneath their shared blanket Malik shoved his thigh against Altaїr's before he finally wrapped his arm around his back and pulled him closer. He wouldn’t admit it, but he loved lying like this with Altaїr in his arm. He couldn't deny that he felt a little protective towards him, but when they would lie like this and when he would put his arm around him like this in that protective gesture, he felt more like Altaїr was the one protecting him from dark thoughts.

"And I would love to meet yours." He sighed. Malik did not knew much about Altaїr's parents to be honest, just that his dad had been a police officer and that he died shortly after Altaїr's birth and that his mother died just a few days prior to Altaїr's eleventh birthday.

"I think my father and you would go along pretty well, after all I know about him. But my mom…"

"What was she like?" Malik felt ridiculously tired and exhausted but he did not want to sleep right now. It was much more straining to entertain a few kids than he cared to admit, but Malik was hungry for Altaїr's calm and warm voice, after this deep but still youthful sound and after the way he framed his words and how he would stop every now and then like there was a picture popping up in his head that he needed to look at first before speaking.

"I don’t know." He said quietly. "I feel like I did not know her at all. She was a coward and she was weak. She couldn’t bring herself to stand in front of us, her sons, and rather stood on the side of her men. My mother was a two faced person for all I know and for all I remember. She was sweet and loving and kind-hearted when we were alone, but as soon as there was a man in the house there was no room for us in her heart anymore. She let herself got beaten and she let us got beaten and she beat us herself – at least me. I never understood why Bill was so much more important to her then we were, but I think I wasn't really that surprised when she died. When I'm looking back now, I know that she used the last month of her life only for preparing me for this."

"For what?"

"To raise my brothers, to replace her, so care for them so that they would have a better life than I – I really don’t know." There was no hatred in his voice like you would expect from a teenager talking about his mother like that, there was more pity in his voice. "She wasn’t made for this life and this world and the reality and she was in no way made to be a mother of four boys. She never should've become a mother in the first place."

"How did she die?" gently he brushed his fingertips over Altaїr's hurt shoulder, which was now covered by his t-shirt and took care that he did not hurt him with that. He couldn't stand hurting him no matter in which way whatsoever.

"She killed herself." Altaїr shrugged his shoulders. "Two days before my birthday. Well I thought it was very selfish from her to ruin my birthday like this. The little ones don’t know."

"What about Ezio?"

"He neither. I kept it to myself, because I found her. Ezio believes she died because of a stroke or something like that and I took care that neither of them would see her until she was taken away and Bill was much too drunk to find interest in her death. I think it's better this way."

Malik wasn’t so sure about that and he wasn’t so sure that Ezio did not already know. The boy wasn’t half as dumb as he liked to act, but if he knew, he never said anything to let his big brother think different. Malik could understand why Altaїr kept it to himself because children had that remarkable talent blaming themselves when something like that happened, no matter how irrational it was for an adult. A child would find a way to be guilty for their mother's death and maybe it was exactly what Altaїr did. Maybe he thought himself guilty for her death even now and maybe it was why he was so protective towards his brothers and maybe it was why he would stand between them and the danger, because he thought it was his fault that the boys did not have a mother anymore. But Malik had no chance to ask him about it, because in the moment he opened his mouth, he noticed how the bedroom door opened quietly just a little and how a pair of dark puppy eyes appeared in the gap between door and doorframe.

Altaїr sat up straight immediately. There he was now, little Connor, a book clutched to his chest and ignoring his brother like e wasn’t even there when his gaze shifted towards Malik. By closer inspection he recognized the book for one of his old natural science books from college.

"Trouble finding sleep?" Altaїr murmured and Connor nodded. Malik could very well imagine that the boy had trouble finding sleep in this foreign flat after he was startled from his sleep when they extended the couch.

"Ezio and Desmond are snoring…" He commented quietly and Altaїr laughed, but then waved for the boy to join them on the bed without even asking for Malik's permission. What happened after that Malik would’ve expected of Desmond but not of the family-Bamby. Connor closed the door behind him before he hurried towards the bed (just dressed in his t-shirt and shorts for sleeping) and crawled right between them – what meant for Altaїr he had to make room for his brother when Connor just pushed him to the side. Altaїr looked outraged, but Connor shifted Malik's attention towards the book in his greedy hands, after he crawled under the blanket.

"Is that yours?" An admittedly needless question in consideration of the fact that he found it here in Malik's flat but Malik nodded anyway.

"Yeah, studied natural sciences for a small while, in addition to my majors." He grinned but only earned himself a " _Bah! You are such a nerd!"_ when the boy turned to his other side and away from them demonstratively.

Malik did not knew how it happened that Connor fell asleep between his brother and Malik, after they scrolled through the book and after the boy pestered him with questions, but at some point Connor's head just dropped down on his shoulder and then a few minutes later his eyes fell shut. "Should I bring him back to the living room?" Malik murmured when he finally put the book aside and when Altaїr turned again to face him. Malik wasn’t stupid and he knew his boyfriend and so he had known the whole time that the guy wouldn’t sleep when Malik and Connor would talk right next to him.

"Nope … just let him stay, you did this to yourself." Altaїr murmured when he wrapped leisurely his arm around his little brother and suddenly Malik finally understood what Altaїr meant when he said he rarely had his bed for himself. Connor shuffled closer to the familiar warmth of his brother and turned by himself so he would face Altaїr who just grinned triumphantly at Malik before he turned off the light. His side of the bed (which wasn’t really his side, because Altaїr annexed _his_ side of the bed right from the start) suddenly felt empty and lonely, but he just listened to the deep breathing pattern of the child in their middle and tried to make out his lover's face in the darkness. It took just seconds before Malik felt a hand on his chest and Malik did not waste a moment to grab it and move the hand to his lips just to he could plant a soft kiss to his fingers.

"Good night." He whispered softly into the silence.

"Woe to you snore." Altaїr answered before Malik let go again of his hand.

There was no way back for Malik now. He couldn’t turn and run away and he was glad – oh so glad – that he already burned down all the bridges behind him to hinder a flight.


	7. Christmas lights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware of the time jump! This chapter takes place one year after they first met, so right at the end/parallel to the end of Paper Hearts.

Christmas morning arrived not only with snow but with a quite hyperactive child falling down onto the large bed inside the master bedroom on the first floor of the respectable suburban house on the outskirts of Boston, shortly followed by another heavy impact as - presumably - another child fell onto the bed. The first - lighter - child crawled unabashed over Malik, his small hands and knees digging into his stomach and every bit of soft flesh Malik possessed. Malik, however, kept his eyes shut tightly, even as he started to feel the hot breath of the kid on his face and eyes piercing through his closed eyelids. closed eyelids. He was kinda proud of himself that he managed to keep his poker face no matter how much effort Desmond, the culprit, put into annoying him - even when his whiny little voice filled Malik's ears without mercy.

" _Maliiiiiiik_ ~ Come on! I _know_ you're awake! Come on Malik! It's Christmas _Maliiiiiiik_!" But _Maliiiiiik_ knew no mercy, oh hell no. Next to him Altair grunted and Malik did not even need to open his eyes to know that his boyfriend had been awakened by the second child - the second criminal mastermind - that was now occupying their bed. Of course, Desmond's whining so close also could be held responsible for his awakening so early in the morning. Though he couldn’t see Altair, Malik felt his leg that was still intertwined with one of Malik's own, but Malik couldn’t feel the rest of the young men's body, which should by lying next to his.

Only as Desmond tried a different approach to this whole situation, Malik's poker face crumbled. The corners of his mouth twitched ever so slightly when he felt how Desmond first rubbed his little head in desperation and frustration against his collarbone, his short hair tickling Malik's neck, before the little one (the littlest of them all) finally let himself fall down flatly onto Malik's chest, his arms stretched to his sides. Like this, he lay there like a dead man on top of Malik and Malik himself finally could not suppress his laughter any longer. The performance was heart-wrenching.  The impatience and desperation of the kid were something no one with a heart in their chest could ignore. However, Malik was still not ready to get up and out of bed just yet, instead he wrapped his arms around the little imp and pressed his frail body as tightly as he possibly could against his own to earn a helpless squeal in return.

"Careful… When you break something you need to repair him or buy me a new one…" Altair's voice sounded drowsy from his left-hand side and finally Malik opened his eyes (he relaxed the hug a little bit, but held it nonetheless. Desmond needed to learn how important it was to be patient even on Christmas-morning). The sight that Connor and Altair provided was too heartwarming to ignore it anyway. It seemed Connor had tried to wake his brother just as mean and cruelly as Desmond did with Malik, but unlike Desmond he had not succeeded and  instead he was now lying half on top of his victim and half at its side. Altair had wrapped his arm around Connor's neck in a small chokehold to force his head against Altair's chest. Years of training and Connor did not make any effort to free himself from that almost-headlock; instead, he kept laying there exhausted and tired as if he had forgotten his mission at all.

"I guess we can consider ourselves lucky that Ezio hadn't been commanded to wake us." Malik grinned sleepily. If Ezio would've thrown himself on top of them there wouldn’t be so much left either of the bed or of them and the boy surely did not let himself be handled as easily as the two puppies.

"Come on! It's Christmas! I'm sure Santa was here last night!"

Malik would win every bet that Desmond had escaped from the bed during the last night to look if Santa had been there already - or, which was also always a very real possibility, he had just left the bed to wake up Connor, because Malik was sure that he had felt the little one nearly half of the night moving between them when he had been tossing and turning from one side to the other with all the antsiness only a child could muster when Christmas-morning was about to happen.

"You think so?" Malik smirked and threw a small glance towards Altair who started to pet Connor's neck. The boy looked like he would drift off to sleep any moment now under those loving and affectionate caresses. Santa seemed to have been banned entirely from Connor's little head already. It was easy to distract Connor, maybe even so because Connor did not mind such festivities as much as Desmond. Even on his own birthday, he had been a lot shyer than Desmond and he had needed a moment to realize that the cake and the presents had been for him alone. Malik would never forget his big glowing eyes as Connor had finally understood.

"Yeah! That’s his job isn't it?"

Well, that was something Malik couldn’t deny anyway. "Well, did you behave this year so he would even come for you?"

"No, I didn’t, but Connor did and if he gets presents he has to share them with me." The honesty of that boy sometimes was heartwarming and Connor stretched his body just enough so he could kick his little brother in the ass. "I don’t need to share with you. If you didn’t behave this year and if you don't deserve presents from Santa - you don't deserve presents from Santa." That’s it. Altair chuckled, but Malik finally released the youngest one because he didn’t want to torture him any further, it was like being cruel to a puppy after all, and Malik did not condone violence against puppies. Connor and Altair also got ready to escape the bed, even though a little slower and much lazier.

"What about Ezio? Is he awake yet?" Altair turned to his brothers with a yawn, because if they would go downstairs to look if Santa had been there during the last night, they should all go together and not forget Ezio in all of this even though he was already seventeen - and practically an adult yet, who did not need Christmas presents at all.

"Don’t worry…" Connor murmured while he rubbed his tired little eyes. "That was the first thing Des did…"

And Connor really did not lie in that regard, because just shortly after Altair and Malik were dragged by the hyperactive Desmond out of the bedroom, Malik spotted Ezio standing in the hallway, his sleeping pants at half height and his shirt just as wrinkled as his face while he pulled back his hair into a neat ponytail so it wouldn’t annoy him as much. His eyelids were still struggling with gravity. Probably he had spent half the night surfing the internet or chatting with Sofia again. Well, at least he had not been prepared to get woken up by his brothers at - Malik risked a small glance to his wristwatch - seven in the morning just because Santa could have been there already to deliver their presents. But no one could really hold it against the little one. Altair did not talk that often about the time his mother had still been around (this woman that had managed to leave even more scars on her boys than Bill ever could in a lifetime), but Malik could very well imagine that neither of them ever had a real Christmas. Even last year's very improvised Christmas in Malik's flat had been something real special for them boys which had left them giddy with excitement.

Desmond was the first one to storm down the stairs and did not let himself be stopped by really anyone, when he sprinted for the living-room to look if Santa really had been there. Of course, Santa had been there to deliver the presents last night, Malik thought to himself, but he still tried (as well as Altair) to hide this knowledge and act all surprised when they entered the living room and spotted that _mountain_ of presents underneath the tree. Of course, they all let Desmond step in first (and Desmond wouldn’t have it any other way). While the youngest ran for the tree with a giddy squeal at the sight of all those presents, Connor stood somewhat perplex and Ezio appeared like he never ever in his life had even seen Christmas-presents. A small push from Altair against Ezio's broad back got the seventeen-year-old to move again so he could join his brothers by the tree after Desmond already slumped down in front of it in his pajamas and without any clue how to handle all of this (or where to start unwrapping the gifts).

Altair grinned, when Malik looked at him next time and he noticed that his boyfriend was just as excited as his younger siblings when he sat down beside them (well to be more precise: he sat down with Desmond because the other two kept standing like all dressed up and nowhere to go). With a small grin, Altair grabbed Connor and pulled him down with them before he pointed towards one of the piles of presents.  They really had tried their best to not buy too much for those kids to not spoil them rotten on their first real Christmas, not after they got along pretty well all those years without having gifts at all. Even though it wouldn’t have such an impact anymore on Ezio or Connor, Desmond was still in that special and very much spoilable age. "These are your's, Des." The oldest brother pointed towards Desmond's pile of presents and Malik could actually see how big Desmond's eyes became after he closed the gap between all of them and sat down with them on the floor. Suddenly Desmond was very careful and shy, as he grabbed the first tiny, tiny present before he again looked up to his brother as if he wanted to confirm he had picked the right gift before he ripped the colorful wrapping off.

Ezio found his own little stack of presents on his own, only Connor remained a little lost, at least until Malik stood up again, grabbed his little hand and pulled him up to his feet again so he could walk Connor to a little corner of the living room a little aside from the tree and the turmoil Desmond was producing, while Ezio was gasping for breath like he had an allergic reaction when he found his new Smartphone under the tree. He did not look too sure about seeing this thing for real or being confronted with a fata-morgana. In the corner where Malik led Connor there was a rectangular object on the floor, only covered by a thin blanket so only the edges underneath the thin fabric were easy to make out. "Look what's under the blanket." Malik instructed the black haired kid which looked up at him like he just lost his mind, but then he did as he was told and lifted the cover carefully. Just a second later there was a loud squeak of joy from the kid.

Malik was no friend of gifting animals to children for Christmas or birthday. They were living creatures and no toys or objects for kids to play with and most children would lose interest rather quickly when they got a pet like this. Malik felt sick to the stomach every time he would read about the little puppies or the little kittens that were exposed after the holidays because they were suddenly not as interesting or cute anymore or because they would make much more work than expected. But this right here was something very different because there was no child in the whole wide world who would care with as much seriousness and duty for the pet like the now very proud rabbit-father Connor.

He watched how the boy ripped the blanket off fully just so he wouldn’t waste any second longer before he opened the cage and carefully - very, very carefully - lifted the bunny into his arms. His grip around the pet was gentle so he wouldn’t hurt his little buddy but he couldn’t hide his joy. His big brown eyes shone like little stars before he turned to Malik again and hugged him, just after Malik crouched down beside him. It wasn’t the first time Connor came to him when he wanted to cuddle or when he wanted to be near someone where he had his quiet to relax and think, but it certainly was the first time that Connor hugged him and not the other way around.

"I want a pet too!" Desmond whined from the tree after he just freed his new plush-eagle from its wrapping paper for his little plush-zoo and pressed the toy a little bit frowning against his chest when he noticed his older brother with his new pet.

"When you're old enough you get one yourself." Malik grinned knowingly that Altair would protest. It wasn’t like Altair wouldn't like animals, but he did not seemed so very thrilled about the idea of caring for a bunch of pets along with three kids, although it certainly would be Altair who would beg Malik for getting a dog or a cat as soon as the kids would move out (and the longer Malik thought about all this, the more he noticed that they really were behaving like parents).

The morning was filled with laughter and with shining children eyes, while Connor wouldn’t let his new buddy go and on the same time tried to look at all his new books, he was already making plans with Malik for building a new and bigger compound for his pet. Desmond already built himself a small fort with all his new toys and Ezio couldn’t drop his gaze from his new phone anymore. Altair on the other hand still couldn’t decide if he should be angry or just happy for the new watch Malik gave him or for the new messenger bag Ezio bought him ( _"That’s all much tto expensive! You don’t need to spend so much money on me!"_ ). It wasn’t until Altair reached the very last gift of his own stack of presents, for the atmosphere in the room got a little devotional. It was just a simple photo book cased in dark brown leather.

Malik couldn’t help but grin a little when he watched him how he gently brushed his fingertips over the stitched label of the cover - _Family_ \- before he opened the book. Malik had found a lot of photos after they moved in here, all stuffed into one of the many boxes, the only thing of real sentimental worth for Altair which he saved from Bill's house and he had found even more pictures in all those old little film containers which he apparently also saved back then and which he apparently forgot for all those years or did not have the money to develop. There weren't many photos of Altair himself as a kid, just very few which were taken by this mother and on most of them he was together with Ezio, but most pictures Altair had taken himself and Malik was impressed how clear they were and how few had been blurred. The boy really had a good eye.

Malik spent hours and hours sitting together with them boys (every day when Altair would take the afternoon shift in the café) to compile the book, organized timely. One of the pictures held a very special place in Malik's heart: It was the photo of a ten-year-old Altair, holding his newborn baby brother Desmond for the first time in his arms. The boy was so tiny he couldn’t even open his eyes yet or he simply was sound asleep in his big brother's arms who was launching in what appeared to be his mother's hospital bed. The woman wasn’t in the picture for it was probably her who took the photo.

At some point Altair wiggled himself closer to Malik who leaned with his back against the couch, still sitting on the floor. Malik made just enough room for his boyfriend between his legs so Altair could lean against his chest while turning page after page and devouring all those fond memories enclosed in that book and trying to stifle a chuckle some time or another. All pictures were perfectly timed and they showed everything beginning by little Connor who sat proudly on his potty for the first time with flushed red cheeks, to Ezio covered in Band-Aids and a proud grin on his stupid face to little Desmond crawling for the first time. It really was a shame that Altair stopped taking pictures at some point.

"Oh, I remember this one." Altair finally grinned and pointed to one of the pictures - one of the very rare photos that showed Altair. Desmond was two years old at the most and Altair was holding up a little picture card in front of his face, in the background, Connor was sitting on the floor which appeared to be either the nursery or Altair's room while drawing on used paper (and a little bit on the floor). "I practiced animal sounds with Desmond."

"And which one was that?" Malik really liked it when Altair was like this, so detached from everything hurtful in his life and so utterly relaxed and so deeply engulfed in all those good memories with his brothers. Would he have been alone maybe his life had turned out to be much worse and maybe he would've never made it so well on his own because his brothers forced him to be strong and brave and to not lose his way. Instead of answering his question Altair turned to his brothers and it was Ezio who mirrored his grin.

 _"Desmond what sound makes a bird?"_ Altair grinned. _"Humpuraaaah!"_ Ezio and Connor answered synchronized and Desmond's face turned bright red immediately.

It was already late in the afternoon when Malik managed to release himself from the family after they spent the day taking a walk in the forest nearby before the boy's insisted in playing in the snow. When they arrived at home again they weren't just totally frozen to the core but at least Desmond and Connor were so exhausted that the brothers fell asleep in the living room on the sofa together while Malik, Ezio, and Altair began preparing the Christmas dinner. He already put on his coat when he again took a look into the kitchen. "I'm gonna go now. I think I'm back in an hour or so. Don’t scorch anything!" Malik only raised his index finger like a scolding mother would towards Altair and the eighteen-year-old poked his tongue out at him before Malik left the house chuckling.

He never parked in the garage so he jogged to his car through the front yard and through the snow towards his car to flee the cold and rescue himself into the warmth. He would be damned if he would _not_ visit Kadar on Christmas. He had been there every Christmas since the accident and he would keep doing that until Kadar would wake up again. Of course, he never forgot his little brother even though the boys and all the turmoil during the last year could’ve made him forget about him. No one (not a single person on earth) could replace his little brother, not Altair and none of his brothers and Malik would never be okay with not having Kadar by his side. The truth was that he was jealous at times when he would see Altair with his baby brothers. On bad days it was like a kick to the stomach seeing the four together like that, but on good days it let his heart thud-thud-thudding and gave him the hope he needed – after all Altair never lost hope in all these years.

He would find his way to the hospital in his sleep, but still, Malik kept his watchful eye on the street, after all, it was still Christmas, the street was slippery every now and then and there were more than enough idiots on the streets and more than enough careless people caught in the holiday stress. Malik was one of those very conscientious drivers who would follow the given speed limit at all costs and who would never (not ever) offend the rules of the streets. Of course, he had passed his driving test back then with seventeen without any mistake and maybe that was the reason why he would be close to having a heart attack every time he let Ezio or Altair drive his car. It wasn’t that they were bad drivers, but Ezio just turned seventeen and he hadn’t even yet had the test for his driver's license (until then Malik would practice with him, because Altair and Ezio would strangle one another otherwise and the collective opinion in that matter was that it would be better if an experienced driver would teach him how to do it rather than a teenager who did his license only a few months ago) and Altair was just that kind of driver who would curse at the other cars and who would drive way too fast (although he wasn’t a reckless driver). It was probably the very same fear every parent would fear when their kids would start driving after they just got their license.

Maybe it really wasn’t that much the fear that either Ezio or Altair would crash his car (it was just a car and they could just replace a broken car), but the fear of losing either one of them or losing what he just earned. After all, Malik knew how fast it could happen. He knew how sudden the death could come upon them when he decided it was about time for them to go and for Malik to lose again a loved person. And Malik still remembered the argument he had with Ezio about this after one of their driving lessons.

 _"You worry so much about your fucking car it's ridiculous!"_ Ezio had yelled at him after nearly hitting the trashcan on his way towards the driveway.

 _"I don’t fucking worry about my car, Ezio! I worry about you!"_ Of course, they had attracted the whole household with their bickering and he still could remember Ezio's murderous glare. They got closer during the past year and Malik thought that he sometimes knew much more about the things that were happening in Ezio's head than Altair. The boy still cursed himself for not protecting Connor back then and for fighting with Cesare.

 _"Oh is that so?"_ Ezio had crossed his arms in front of his chest and Malik had been so angry with the boy that he had really liked to punch him in the mouth. And maybe that really was what Ezio had wanted back then. He wanted punishment for the stupid things he did to cause so much pain.

 _"I can buy me a new car for god's sake, but I can't replace you!"_ And with that he had startled the boy greatly, so much in fact that he hadn't seen Ezio for nearly two days.

On his way towards Kadar's room, he was greeted by the old head-nurse like she would do every time when he visited his baby brother. "Oh! Alone today?" She called after him when he just passed the nurses desk but then he stopped and turned – because his parents raised him to be polite.

"Yeah but only today. Altair has to take care of the dinner, but I guess he will visit tomorrow." The teen wouldn’t have it any other way and Malik knew he would probably be here with him now, after all it was Christmas, but Malik was glad he wasn’t. He just wanted to spend a few minutes alone with his brother on that special day. He loved it that Altair would visit Kadar with or without him, but today it was Christmas and Malik would like to be alone with him. Christmas had always been Kadar's favorite holiday – no it _was_ his favorite holiday still. Maybe it was just false hope guiding him here every year. Maybe he had hoped that his brother would decide to wake up on that special day.

The nurse chuckled softly behind her papers and let Malik pass after he had satisfied her curiosity and Malik bridged the distance between him and his brother's room swiftly. Kadar's room welcomed him with the same silence as always. The sun already decided to prepare for closing time and dipped the whole room in red and pink. The monitor next to Kadar's bed still peeped slowly and quietly and there were still all those stupid cards standing around on one of the two nightstands which Kadar got a few months ago for his birthday. The teddy Malik got him still lay in Kadar's arm. Malik would come here every week and found him like that and he was glad that the nurses took so good care of his brother and this room and that he could hold his new teddy in his sleep, even if he probably did not even felt the plush-toy.

"Hey, buddy." Malik greeted the sleeping boy after he closed the door behind him and shuffled closer to his bed just so he could sit down again on that ridiculously uncomfortable plastic chair and to turn on the small lamp on his bedside table. With a small sigh, he grabbed the small and thin hand of the boy and hooked his fingers with Kadar's tiny ones. "How are you today? Having pleasant dreams?" He would love it so much if Kadar would just kick him for that so very stupid question or if he would at least push his hand a little, but nothing. "I wished I knew if you can even hear me talking." Because then it would make much more sense to talk to him. "Greetings from Altair and from the others. They can't wait to meet you finally. What do you even think about Altair? Yeah I know, he behaves silly sometimes, but he is a nice guy, isn’t he?"

During all those past months he often searched for the advice of his little brother, had asked him for his opinion when it came to Altair or the situation with his brothers even though he never would get an answer out of him. Sometimes it just helped to talk and to hear the words out loud, even though it would be just his own voice speaking them.

"I think you really would get along well if you would just wake up from your beauty sleep. You are already pretty enough if you ask me, the girls will fall for you one after another and if you would just wake up you could do sooo much stupid stuff with Ezio. I'm sure he would be glad to advise you when it comes to girls." Now that he thought about it, maybe the combination of Ezio and Kadar wasn’t the best one. There was no way that they wouldn’t cause trouble together. "Do you think Mum and Dad would like him? Of course, I'm speaking about Altair. You know … I really regret being such a coward back then. I wished I would’ve told them and when they would be still alive I would love it so much to introduce Altair to them. I was so afraid that they wouldn’t love me anymore when I would tell them the truth or that I would be cast out by them and that I would never see any of you guys again. And then, every time I was close to just tell them, I thought I would rather do it when I would've found a guy to introduce to them and who would be worth the risk. I think I found that person now but now I can't tell them anymore and everything I can think about is if they would like him and if they would love him as much as I do."

And suddenly there was a small twitch in his hand, much too short and much too slight that Malik wanted to think on that. He just imagined things again and it wasn’t that unusual for a comatose patient to twitch every now and then.

"Well … let us change the topic, alright?" Malik smirked and ignored the fact that he really had no conversational partner. "You really should wake up, Kadar. I'm serious now. That is really getting ridiculous. If you sleep any longer and waste your time in this stupid bed, you will miss too much in school and I guess you don’t want to be that weird kid that is yeaaaaaaars older than the other children in his class. Besides Desmond hopes, you will join his class when you wake up again. If you would ask me I think he just hopes for the good Al-Sayf-genes so he could copy from you when you would sit next to him. Oh, you should’ve seen his face when I told him that I have a little brother too. He had hoped so much not being the youngest one in the family anymore and he was really pissed off when I told him you're older than him. He did not speak a word with me for two days just like it was my fault. You would love to annoy the crap out of him."

His eyes fell on his watch again, before he relaxed his grip around Kadar's small hand and just patted it, before finally pulling the blanket higher and shoving his hand underneath while tucking him in. "Well it's about time for me to go back, otherwise, Altair will scorch the food and then we will starve tonight – or the guy will try again to sell us his stupid canned ravioli." With that he stood up again, but not without leaning over the bed of the eleven-year-old to plant a soft kiss on his forehead (because he knew nothing annoyed his baby brother more than being kissed by him). "Merry Christmas, Kadar. See ya soon."

He was already by the door after he turned off the small lamp next to Kadar's bed again and his hand just grabbed the door handle when finally there was the small sound of a little voice behind him, not louder than the whisper of the wind. "Malik…" The voice whispered so quietly that he thought he just imagined things. But still Malik turned around to look at the bed. Blue eyes were staring at him. That was for sure the moment when Malik Al-Sayf really lost his mind. Malik couldn’t move, he just stood there frozen on the spot and stared back into the blue eyes of his brother which appeared so sleepy with every blink like they were threatening to close again forever, just like a small kid on Monday morning when it would rather stay in bed than getting up to visit school.

But they really were _open_. Kadar's eyes really were open! And Malik just tore the door open and the first thing he did before running for his brother's bed was yelling across the hallway for the old head nurse. Malik's voice echoed from the walls of the small corridor and he couldn’t care less about the people that might hear him or would be annoyed by his yelling. He yelled as loud as he could, so the old lady would hear him, so she would come as fast as her frail legs could still carry her. He needed someone to confirm that his brother was awake and that he did not imagine things. Not until he heard the small sound of her clicking shoes on the linoleum floor he turned around to hurry back to Kadar's side.

Kadar blinked, but for just a second – just after Malik had turned to him – he was afraid that his eyes would remain closed again. He ignored the chair by his bed when he sat down on the mattress next to his baby brother and cupped his face with his large hands. Kadar's eyes were drowsy and foggy, but he really tried to fix his gaze on Malik's face even so it wasn't successful at first. He watched his brother's eyes turning from left to right to left again always searching for something that he could recognize, always unsuccessful until his eyes finally stopped at Malik's face above him and his eyes fixed themselves on Malik's brown ones.

"Hey, buddy…" It escaped Malik's throat dry and hoarse and not louder than Kadar's own voice just seconds ago, not louder than the whisper of the wind so he wouldn’t startle the child as if he was afraid he could fall back into coma otherwise, but Kadar held his gaze on his big brother's stupid worried face and for just a heartbeat there was a small smile flickering across his face. "How are you, buddy?"

There was no time for Kadar to answer his question and he was probably not even in the right condition to do it either way when the head nurse stormed in closely followed by the doctor in charge. It was just that very moment, when Kadar seemed to understand, where he was. Malik did not know how much he remembered of the accident, but it really wasn’t that important in that moment either. Important was only that Malik stayed by his side and held his hand in his own while the doctor examined the little guy and bombarded him with questions. At least Kadar was awake enough so he could nod or shook his head to answer the doctor's questions even though he never let  Malik escape from his eyes and Malik never (not for a second) let go of his little hand.

Malik felt like he was in a trance-like state and the words of the doctor and the nurse were only dull in his ears, the world around him only a blur of colors and sounds and the only constant was his brother's blue eyes, which used to always look so curious in the world. Hours may have passed before the doctor gently patted his shoulder and said something to him. Malik did not even tried to understand his words or even acknowledged his talking, before the man in the white coat left the room. Malik was left behind with Kadar and the head nurse and only her tight grip on his shoulder brought him to look up to her again.

"A few minutes, okay?" She smiled. "Your brother needs rest, but when you come back tomorrow you will have more of him." Malik nodded even though he would rather don’t go ever again because his fear was way too big to lose the little one in his absence. He knew how absurd this thought was, but he couldn’t help it. After the nurse vanished from his side and left the room, he gently brushed some of the black hairs out of Kadar's face. "You really startled me." Malik whispered and he could swear he had seen a small mischievous grin in Kadar's face.

It wasn’t until next morning when Malik entered Kadar's room for the next time and when his blue eyes welcomed him wide awake. "Mom and Dad are dead, am I right?" It was just that question that let Malik stop dead in his tracks by the door and that killed his good mood as sudden as a kick to the balls. Kadar wasn’t stupid; of course, he could add one and two together, when it would only be Malik who would come for him and when his parents hadn’t been here until they heard the good news of their baby being awake again. Malik released a breath he did not even know he was holding before he closed the door behind his back. He had a bag full of stuff for Kadar with him, self-made chocolate pudding from Altair and a crap load of snacks (because the food in the hospital was always so bad) and toys which Desmond tribute so Kadar wouldn't get bored. On the other hand, the TV already was turned on in Kadar's room which led him to believe his younger brother could help himself when it would come to boredom.

Malik knew there was no use in beating about the bush or trying to sugarcoat the truth, so he just shuffled closer to his bed and sat down on the chair next to his bed.

"Yeah, they are." Malik mumbled quietly and Kadar just nodded. Malik had no clue what he expected of the boy and if he expected him to burst into tears or for him wanting to be comforted or if he would even blame Malik for the accident and their parents' deaths, but he surely hadn’t expected the boy to remain as calm and as cool as he did. Well, he probably already had a few hours' time to think about the truth about his parent's absence and came to terms with the possibility of their deaths. It did not seem like anyone in the hospital already told him and he probably wanted to hear it from his big brother just to be sure that it really was the truth.

"Do you remember the accident?" He got only a small shake of his head as an answer. The doctors had warned him already that Kadar would have troubles speaking after waking up after two years no matter how clear his greeting had been now. He probably practiced that one sentence over and over and Malik couldn’t help but ruffle through Kadar's unruly hair like every time he came here. And then with a soft sigh, Malik told him everything he knew about the accident and how Kadar fell into a coma. He knew the doctors had told him already about his coma, but Malik felt the need to do it himself.

After a while he found himself lying next to his brother in the small bed, for Kadar wiggled to the side just enough so Malik could lay down with him, a clear enough invitation for him to take so Kadar could cuddle up to his chest like they did back then when Kadar was still little and much more trusting. Kadar wasn’t like Desmond or Connor when it came to cuddling and closeness. As long as he was still visiting kindergarten he really searched for Malik's presence every time he had the chance to do it and he did so even a little bit during first grade, but then he was just too much an adult and too much mature.

Malik did not know if it was a good or a bad sign for Kadar searching for his presence like this now, but he was relieved that he could finally wrap his arms around his own brother again, no matter how much he loved Desmond or Connor (and sometimes even Ezio). It wasn’t the same thing. "The doctor said if you'll behave well and get better fast you can be home for Sylvester." Malik promised with a small smile before he remembered that Kadar did not even know where his home now was.

"You mean your home?" He mumbled quietly his head resting against Malik's shoulder.

"Yes" Malik answered. "but not my apartment. I have a new home by now. I think you'll like it." And then he stopped. He knew he would have to tell him all about his new surroundings and his new life, but he was afraid to overstrain the poor boy with all those new information and he was afraid Kadar would think he had tried to replace him or to forget him, instead his little brother took that duty from him with just a small question.

"Who is Altair?"

"What?"

"The nurse told me. She said you would bring him."

"He is my boyfriend." Malik chuckled and wrapped his arms tighter around him just to earn himself a small squeal just like back then when the boy was still so little that he had been afraid to break him with his hugs. "We're together for a year now." He added.

"Are you living together?"

"Yepp. We bought ourselves a nice house in the suburbs like proper adults." And he knew that his brother did not believe a single word of this because that wasn’t the Malik he knew. The Malik Kadar knew was jumping from bar to bar and fool around with boys and wasn’t able to keep a relationship for more than a month until the other person showed some unforgivable flaw in their personality so Malik would be _forced_ to break up with them. That was just the way his big stupid brother was. He expected perfection and was imperfect himself.

"Wow." Kadar only replied.

"Yeah, it all happened real fast I guess, but I think you'll like him … And also his brothers."

"Brothers?"

"Three of them, all younger than him. They're living with us."

And now he had Kadar's full attention. His blue eyes were drilling into his face and Malik couldn’t help but laugh before he told Kadar everything and how it all happened and while he was talking it felt all so absurd like he read him a fairy tale or told him about a movie he had seen or like a badly written fan fiction on the internet. Suddenly it did not feel like his life anymore, but Kadar was laughing when he told him about all the silly things Ezio was doing all the time or when he told him how he taught Desmond to swim last summer while Altair had sit next to the pool with a sour face or how straining it had been to teach four kids (Altair included) how to ride a bicycle and how much he had feared for his life when he let Altair drive his beloved car for the first time.

Malik stayed for hours and hours by his side and no matter how much he told him or how much Kadar asked him, it was impossible to tell what was happening in the head of this child or to deduce his feelings over the death of their parents. Maybe the truth still hadn’t soaked in his brain and maybe it would take a lot of time until he would finally understand, but Malik knew that there would be times when Kadar would just be angry because of their deaths or sad because they wouldn’t be there when he would graduate from high school or college or because he couldn’t introduce his first girlfriend to them or because his dad wouldn't teach him how to shave and because his mother would never (not ever) again bake her special Christmas-cookies for him. There was so much that Kadar would miss in his life just because his parents wouldn’t be there and Malik had no other choice than hoping that he and Altair would be a tolerable replacement.


	8. Chocolate-cake and candlelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff-without-plott

It was exactly a year ago that Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad and his brothers fled from their family-home to seek shelter in his apartment. When Malik would bring himself to look back at the past year it seemed like a dream, a blur of colors and emotions and sounds and smells. He would never in his whole life forget the condition of his boyfriend, when he finally got to him that night in the arms of his younger brother, desperate for aid and fearful for his brother's life. Never would he forget the blood that was caked on his body or those horrible injuries or the iron stench or the agony his boyfriend had to endure and most certainly he never would forget the hate he felt for the man who caused all this. For the last time that morning Malik turned in his bed and watched the sleeping face of the birthday-boy next to him.

In the cause of just one single year he seemed to be matured incredibly. He grew from a child into a man. His body finally had the long yearned fullness, something Malik credited his good cooking for and the morning jogging-rounds provided the definition to his muscles. Of course he first had no other choice than forcing the younger male in running with him, but now it would be much more likely that Altaїr would drag him on rainy mornings from the bed. But not today. They had gotten a day off and it was Altaїr's birthday, a good enough reason to stay in bed and look outside the window where the world declared its end.

With a low and quiet snuffle he wiggled a little closer to his boyfriend. Closer-closer-closer. Altaїr had this remarkable talent to take over the whole space of their bed, so Malik would find himself every fucking morning at the edge of the bed, just startled from sleep because of the feeling he would fall. At least the guy wouldn’t steal his pillow or blanket every night anymore. Malik wasted the last quiet and calm minutes in the house– in their home, their fortress, their shelter – watching Altaїr's sleeping face, the small twitching of his eyebrows when he was dreaming, the tender shadows his eyelashes drew on his cheeks, his mouth who would occasionally hung open in the night until the boy caught himself drooling, what would cause him to drive one hand frustrated over his wet face and toss himself on the other side (or slip closer to Malik to drool on his shoulder). Curled into a cocoon of blankets the birthday-boy slept peacefully like a baby and he still had the face of one when he slept. Malik was glad that is nightmares vanished and made room for more pleasant ones within the last year. He wanted to see him happy and smiling, he did not want to hold him at night shivering from fear or the aftermath of a vicious night-terror. He rather had him drooling on his shoulder.  He rather held him in the aftermath of sex or just to keep him in place so he would stop tossing around and robbing him off sleep. He rather held him close to his chest, feeling the curve of his spine relaxing and melting into his chest just for the sake of closeness and affection.

With a tender smirk he brushed his fingertips over the stubbles that shadowed Altaїr's jaw and chin ever so slightly and made him look much older than nineteen. By now the life inside this house had calmed down a little, at least it seemed that way. In a few months Ezio would turn eighteen and would leave for college. He started working in _Creed's Café_ after his seventeenth birthday last year to help his brother and earn money for college (and because Altaїr had told him he needed to learn the value of hard earned money). Connor would leave junior-high and change to the high school Ezio would leave behind this year and Desmond would have to spend a few more years in elementary-school with his friends before the more serious things would grab him and push him into the real world. It really was crazy how fast a year could go by when there were children in the house and it was even crazier how Malik felt like an old man because of it.

Malik would rather stay in bed, watching Altaїr sleep or wrapping him in his arms again like the precious little thing he was to enjoy the warmth of his lean body, but instead he laid his right hand softly on Altaїr's naked waist and watched with joy how the boy nuzzled his face deeper into the pillow. The sun hadn’t even risen from slumber yet and again the snow held Dorchester in its tight-icy-claws. For the little ones it was a formidable joy but for Malik it was horror especially when he was at work or at home thinking about how Altaїr would drive around in his car on icy streets. Of course it had been Malik himself who had taught Altaїr how to drive (and Ezio too), but the image of him driving his car with the kids in the back still filled his thoughts with anxiety. Just one more little moment he wanted to stay by his side ( _just a few seconds, just five more minutes!_ ) to just watch him and save the details of his sleeping form in his mind like it would be the last time he would see him like this. He devoured the sight of the slow rise and fall of his naked chest and how he pulled his knees up in his sleep and how his blanket cocoon had slipped deeper in the wake of his tossing and turning so it only covered him from the hips downwards by now – and oh that slight and soft curve of his hips would drive him crazy when he was lying like this! Well at least they both learned from prior mistakes and would wear at least shorts when going to bed or putting them on again after having sex. There was the constant threat of children invading their bed.

Last time it had been Ezio who had claimed their bed. Love-sickness. Again. Of course, love-sickness. It would always be love-sickness with Ezio and all those beautiful women in his life! Sofia played hard to get and Christina was engaged already, the news of his ex-girlfriend getting married after her eighteenth birthday had been like a punch into his face for the boy. He still liked her, no matter what he would say or how he would shift his attention to beautiful and much more intelligent Sofia Sarto. The girl was smart enough to see Ezio's predicament and that was why she wouldn’t give him what he thought he wanted.

But most of the time it would be Connor or Desmond who would crawl in bed with them, startled by some nightmare or a sudden flash of anxiety or because they were not feeling well. But while the children would be cute and sweet lying between them or letting themselves get comforted Ezio would be a howling mess like a pitiful dog. That were the nights when Malik would move to the couch in the living room freely (just like Altaїr who simply couldn’t let his brother alone in his misery and therefore was chained forever to the boy). Altaїr would never have his freedom – not with his younger brothers around and especially not when one of them would feel miserable or wanted to get comforted.

One last time Malik took a deep-deep-deep breath and brushed through Altaїr's unruly, messy hair right before he heard the small sound of the bedroom-door that was slowly being opened. Malik only grinned a little and his gaze shifted over Altaїr to his alarm clock (on _his_ side of the bed, which was till stolen and occupied by his boyfriend – In fact Altaїr hadn’t even asked Malik why he would put his alarm clock to _Altaїr's_ side of the bed. He just rolled with it and tried to be the first one in bed so he could sleep on that side, that little devil). It was six o'clock – Desmond was exactly on time when he pushed his curious little nose inside. He seemed impatient. Of course he was impatient, he was Desmond and he was nine ( _almost_ ten, how he kept reminding them) years old. So Malik freed himself from his blanket and tucked Altaїr in without even almost waking the boy to shelter him from the cold of the bedroom before he finally crept light footed through the bedroom only dressed in his shirt and shorts so he could follow the little imp down to the kitchen, after closing the bedroom door behind him.

The light from kitchen already fell through the small gap between door and doorframe when Malik crept downstairs, Desmond guiding him by his hand like Malik was a stranger in his own house. He knew (they all knew) Altaїr had a very deep sleep, but he still tried to be as quiet as possible when he opened the door and slipped inside after Desmond and closed it again behind him. And now there they were all of them gathered in the kitchen. Ezio stood by the stove and was stirring in a pot to melt chocolate; Connor stood on a small stepladder and was searching the cupboards for the little candles to put on the cake which stood on the table guarded by sleepy blue eyes.

Kadar's eyes shot up when Malik and Desmond entered the kitchen and a wide smile lit up the face of the eleven year old boy. It was exactly this smile Malik missed those two lost years so painfully and which let his heart thud-thud-thudding in his chest every time he saw it now. Kadar's awakening after two years of coma hadn’t been just a miracle for the doctors, it had been a gift of Allah for Malik, a sign of the heavens and of all that was good in the world, that he did something right in the cause of that last year to earn this very present. Maybe Kadar's second chance in life was his gift for all the stress and the pain of that past year with Altaїr, for all his worries and fear, but maybe the heavens just decided he was now mature enough to accept and treasure this chance. He had been a shadow of a man those two years without his family not able to let someone (really anyone) into his heart, but Altaїr had filled his heart again with love - with love for Altaїr, for himself and love for three children (even though Ezio hated it when he called him a child).

Softly he ruffled through his brother's unruly-messy-hair (always unruly, always messy and always untamable). In his mind he could already see Connor falling, when he saw how the boy was standing already on his tiptoes to reach deeper into the cupboard in his desperate search. So Malik did not waste any more time to step closer and lift the boy to his shoulders. He wouldn’t take the task of search from Connor, but he would help him and it was crazy how normal it felt. It felt normal to make breakfast for them or prepare their little lunchboxes for school or to pick them up or help them with homework or read to them.

Nonetheless his eyes remained fixed on his little brother, even when Connor was wiggling on his shoulders. Sometimes it still felt like a dream to have the boy sitting at that very table or to hear his voice calling from the living room for aid or to hear his laugh when something funny happened. Malik really was no religious or spiritual man, he had never been like that and his parents never forced their religion on their boys. If he would be a religious or spiritual man it certainly would be harder to combine his spiritual beliefs with his life, but if he would be like that it certainly wouldn’t be as hard to believe in such wonders. He never believed in some magical stroke of fate and never believed that Kadar would wake up again, but someone gifted him this wonder and not only the wonder of seeing those magnificent blue eyes again, but the wonder of hearing his brother's voice and the wonder of the strength of his frail little body.

Kadar wasn’t yet his former self (of course not) and it wasn’t even nearly a month that he was back among the waking, but he could talk (it was clumsy and he slurred his speech often and he had troubles with some words, but he could communicate with his mouth and the help of gestures) and he made great progress in rehab and in building up his wasted muscles. Walk he could only with help, but he was hungry for using his feet, greedy for moving his legs and his new family was hungry for helping him. The wheelchair they got from the hospital stood most of the time folded together next to the coat rag. The boy rather crawled on his knees and hands (as long as his arms would be strong enough to crawl) through the house when nobody was around to help or support him, than sitting down in that hellish chair. He hadn’t even the strength to move the chair by himself.

Kadar was just as impatient as Malik was and it wasn’t always easy like this, but it caused the passion which the boy so desperately needed for his training, because he couldn’t wait for being able to run and jump again or even going to school again. There was a lot he had to make up and Altaїr and Desmond were eager to help him with that every day when Desmond would come home from school. Sometimes Malik would worry that his little brother would expect too much of his frail body so short after he was allowed to leave the hospital and was put in the care of them, but Kadar would never accept being grappled into cotton. He was an Al-Sayf after all. Sometimes Malik felt like he was overstraining his brother with his new home and his new family and his new life, but then Kadar would laugh about something stupid Desmond did or Ezio said or he would scroll through a book with Connor, lying on the carpet in the living room or he would find him sitting on Altaїr's lap in the kitchen while his boyfriend taught him how to cut a carrot or gherkin.

Malik had not chosen an easy way a year ago and he had known that right from the start, but he was sure that he had chosen the right way and the right guy.

"Are you going to do it tonight?" Ezio's voice sounded, still hoarse from sleep. Probably Desmond had dragged him from his bed; at least he looked like it, while he finally carried the pot with the melted, hot chocolate carefully to the table. Kadar wanted desperately to help him finish the coating of the cake, so Ezio sat down close to him, to help him hold the spatula for smoothing out the chocolate and finally Connor found the stupid little birthday candles while Desmond was holding up the little pack of sugar-hearts exited. Grinning Malik sat down Connor again and then followed to the table to sit with them around the cake they all made together in secret. The kitchen was way too small for so many people and he often felt like he was in the middle of a bee-yard. It felt warm, cozy and a little funny at times. Altaїr and his brothers were used to the chaos of four boys in one small room, while Malik never knew this feeling – but all the more he loved it now.

"Yes, at least that's what I planned." He then answered Ezio's question while he watched Connor sitting down backwards on his chair next to Kadar. Oh they never would be able to break that habit of the boy again (he blamed Grandpa Edward).

"What do you wanna do?" Kadar then asked with big blue eyes while Ezio still helped him smoothing the cholate over the sides of the cake, guiding his clumsy little hand.

Malik had already begun with the writing on the top of the cake, but stopped after hearing that question and leant back again in his chair. Softly he grabbed Desmond's hand to stop the impatient little boy from strewing the little sugar-hearts on top of his unfinished writing, before he cleared his throat and fixed his gaze for just a second on every child sitting around him (especially on Ezio). "I would like to ask Altaїr if he would marry me." He then began finally knowing that he already had asked him that question. The words just spilled from his mouth on Christmas-day without he even thinking about them. He had known that he would ask him, when he entered the house, but he hadn’t wanted to do it like that and Altaїr still was in debt for an answer because his question had drowned in the joy of Kadar's awakening. Malik had planned his proposal neatly before it just spilled clumsy from his mouth, he wanted to seek permission from his brothers first and _then_ ask Altaїr. "I just wanted to ask you guys first if you would give me your blessings." Especially Ezio. The boys had no parents and if Altaїr would have parents he would be now sitting in front of them to ask for their blessings. It simply was what you were supposed to do before you go and ask the big question, you don’t just steal someone from their family, you had to ask and hope that your loved one would be given to you. But it wasn’t just that. He wanted the permission of becoming a member of this family, even though he already was.

Malik could feel his brother's big blue eyes on his face and he could very well imagine that it had to be a little shock or at least a surprise for his little brother hearing something like that from his brother or even seeing him in that kind of situation. He was nervous although he knew the boys liked him and trusted him. The boys had all the right in the world giving their opinion on that matter when he wanted to steal himself into their family. They had this kind of authorization from the very start of their relationship and just because they never made use of it; it did not mean they wouldn’t do it now. Finally it was Desmond who broke the silence after a small while.

"I thought you already were married." He stated with a puzzled look.

Again Malik cleared his throat, before he found the strength to speak up again. "Why would you think that?" Sometimes it really was an enigma to him what was happening in this little nine ( _almost ten)_ year old guy's head.

"Well … you _kiss"_ – Desmond made a horrible grimace – "all the time and you sleep in the same bed."

Malik couldn’t help but chuckle a little at this and ruffled gently through Desmond's short hair. He shouldn’t be surprised, he really shouldn’t, after all he was talking to Desmond, but he was nonetheless.

"Does Altaїr have to wear a dress and go to church with you?" Connor then demanded to know slightly nervous, because when his brother would be forced into a dress he wouldn’t give his blessings at all!

"No he doesn’t." Malik smirked at the sudden imagery in his head and at the truthfully worried expression in the little man's face. Connor seemed relieved and just turned the candles in his hands, before he spoke again.

"If that's so I don’t have anything against it." And for Desmond it wasn’t even a question he needed to answer. He just wanted to decorate the cake as long as the chocolate was still wet and warm enough. His gaze shifted to Ezio and he did not even try to hide his nervousness. Ezio, who leant back into his chair with crossed arms, should see that his question and nervousness was honest.

"I don’t see the difference to our current situation." The half Italian boy finally chipped. "But yes, okay, for all I care go and make my brother and honest man. You have my blessings." He then grinned. "You two already were long enough a bad role model living like that."

Again his gaze shifted to Kadar who appeared a little perplex. He was missing two years of his life in which he could've learned a lot of new things about the world and how things worked and about his big brother, but he still was the same annoying little nosy brat, even though he was weirdly silent for now. "So what about you, Kadar? Am I allowed to marry?" He smirked.

His brother hadn’t mind at all when Malik told him long ago that he did not _like_ girls, but waking up two years later to discover that his older brother was living with another man and three other kids like a real family had to be weird for him. Malik knew they often involved the boys too much in their lives and their personal stuff. None of them was their child, but it definitely felt like this and he knew Desmond would always be Altaїr's _baby_. It wasn’t always easy for Altaїr to see a brother in Desmond and not his son, but it just seemed right to involve them in things like that. They were a family and Malik wanted to make it official. He would even adopt them boys if he could just to ensure that they would be well and safe when something would happen to him or to Altaїr. He wanted to care and to provide for _his_ family.

Kadar kept his quiet and turned his words in his little head. "Altaїr is cool." He then answered and shrugged his shoulders as if the topic therefore was cleared. "I mean" He searched for the right words in his head. They all had learned to be patient with him, because words wouldn’t come easy to Kadar after that long time of not having a voice. "I wouldn’t allow you to if he was an idiot … most of the time he I useful." Yeah, that was more like his brother again.

Malik felt relieved even though he hadn’t thought the kids would reject him in any way, but if they would’ve Malik wouldn't ask Altaїr again to marry him. He never thought about marrying at one point in his life and he surely wouldn’t die of grief because he wouldn’t marry, but he felt relieved nonetheless. Should something happen to him someday Altaїr would be safe and he would have money. He never should have to live like he did before. "Which name are you going to keep?" Ezio then asked with a lopsided grin that made the scar on his lips more prominent – he still looked like a puppy that had to grow into his paws. Malik know that this would be a fight because they both were stubborn and they both would want to keep their names.

"Don’t know." He replied grinning and finished the writing on the cake so Desmond could finally ( _finally!!!_ ) strew the little hearts (and not just eat them from the pack) and Connor could stick the little candles into the cake. "Maybe we just keep both?"

Connor looked up from his task and made a face when he thought about that horrible tongue-twister. "Altaїr and Malik Al-Sayf-Ibn-La'Ahad?" He then said what probably all of them thought. Impossible that someday someone would say or write that name right and it was Kadar who busted into laughter. "Just imagine how long it would take for one of them answering the phone or leaving a voice message!"

Yeah the laugh is always on the loser. "I think you should keep _Al-Sayf_ , at least I can write and say that right." Desmond chipped in and Malik was triumphant at last. _Altaїr Al-Sayf_ , he could get used to that sound, but instead he finally got up again and looked down on their masterpiece.

"I think we should go and wake the birthday—boy." That was Ezio's sign to save the cake from greedy and clumsy children hands and for Malik to round the table and pick up his little brother. The little one protested but gave up after a short struggle, because the stairs were still an insuperable obstacle for him.

"Oh I so hope he is dressed this time." Ezio would probably never forget the day when he wanted to wake up his brother just to find him naked in bed, the blankets shoved to the ground because of the summer heat at night and just with Malik's pillow in his arms. It was his own fault for not nocking and Malik liked finding his boyfriends like this and brushing his fingers over the soft curve of his spine towards his perfect- Maybe he shouldn't let his thoughts trail in that direction when carrying his baby brother up the stairs.

The procession towards the first floor of the house was silent like every one of them would tiptoe toward their goal, although Malik's steps on the stairs were heavy with the weight of his little brother which he sat down again when they arrived upstairs just to grab him under his thin arms like he did when he was still a toddler and supported him while he walked slowly and clumsily. It were just a few steps towards the bedroom but at least those few steps the boy wanted to make by himself without being carried. Kadar was in pain and exhausted, but he was brave and Altaїr's brothers were patient and waited for Malik and his brother by the door. Malik knew he and Kadar could consider themselves lucky. They had been accepted to that family with open arms, with love and sympathy. Of course the beginning hadn’t been easy for Kadar, after he was allowed to leave the hospital shortly before Sylvester and the three boys also had to get used to him first. Desmond had been jealous at first, but they accepted his brother like they accepted him as a member of their family and Malik could never thank them boys enough for their kindness.

Sometimes Malik couldn’t help but just lean back and watch those rug-rats. Sometimes he caught himself (mostly on those Movie-nights in the living room) stopping by the door holding popcorn or crisps in his hand and just watches them. Those kids had lived through hell and worse and they had all the right reasons to hate the whole world and still they were full of love for each other and full of trust in humanity and maybe this were the greatest gift of them all. Altaїr did make an incredible good job, not matter if he would fight with them every now and then or if Desmond would sulk in his room because something happened or if Ezio overstepped his boundaries again or if Connor would again cause trouble with Aveline.

Like always it was Desmond who pushed down the handle and pushed the door open. Altaїr was still lying how Malik had left him just with the difference that he again laid on the spot Malik had left, his arms wrapped tightly around his pillow. He still couldn’t get that habit out of his boyfriend and he still found it cute, but Desmond still found no mercy in himself when it came to waking his big brother. With a loud yell of _"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"_ he threw himself on the sleeping boy.

On the morning of his nineteenth birthday Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad (hopefully soon to be called Al-Sayf) was startled by a loud yell and then by 68.34 pounds live-weight crashing down on him and pushing him deep into pillow and mattress so that every ounce of air was pressed from his lungs for a moment, accompanied by loud birthday wishes and laughing. Maybe it wasn’t so very gentlemanly waking the teenager like this, but it had the hoped effect and when Altaїr finally recovered from the shock and when he managed to sit up with his brother half in his arms and half laying in his lap his gaze fell upon the chocolate cake in Ezio's hands.

The glow of nineteen birthday candles lit up the dark room. It was the first birthday cake Altaїr had seen for nine long years and he still sat in his bed, with messy hair and just starring at the cake which his loved ones had only made for him alone, to honor him alone and to show him how much they loved him.

 

* * *

 

It was already late, but neither Malik nor Altaїr was in a hurry to get home. Ezio was looking after the kids (they ordered pizza and the kids were allowed to watch TV until their heads would explode), while Altaїr and Malik wanted to spent the evening alone together. They had gone back to the ridiculous small Diner in the better part of Dorchester where they spent their first date and fought across the table. It was just a year ago, but for Malik it felt like eternity and sometimes he caught himself thinking about what would’ve happened if the coffee machine in the office hadn’t been broken that one Monday morning. How big would the chances have been that he would visit _Creed's Café_ otherwise to meet Altaїr? Sometimes just this one thought left him with fear about the possibility that coincidence had so much power over them as humans and sometimes he was frightened that he had spent way too much time caught in his own little universe, caught in his stupid routines. How many things had he missed in his life just because he had been so blind and so caught in his own little mind? Maybe they would’ve met in a different way and time of their lives. Malik was no one who believed in something like fate, but when he thought about never meeting Altaїr because the coffee machine hadn’t been broken, je just _wanted_ to believe that fate would’ve arranged their meeting in any other way against Malik's own stupidity.

"Well~" Altaїr began next to him with a small grin plastered on his stupid face and intertwined his fingers with Malik's (Altaїr was wearing gloves, a scarf and even a beanie to cover his head like Malik ordered him to – of course he bought proper winter clothes for the guy in the cause of that last year). "Why did you want to go to that Diner with me again? You did not like the food there the first time or should I be prepared that you're going to argue with me again about my age and dump me right here and now in the middle of the street?"

Now it was Malik's turn to grin while he gave a small press to Altaїr's fingers, his left hand shoved into the pocket of his coat. "Since when are you vengeful?" Altaїr was never mad at him for a long while and it certainly did not suit him to sulk in a corner for hours or days. "Maybe I am getting sentimental now that I'm old."

"You would need to have a heart for this then." He replied dryly and with the absolutely worse try to look innocent Malik had ever seen, like he was seriously concerned about the lack of a heart in Malik's chest.

"Yeah well, you're right with that. Of course I don’t have one, 'cause you stole it already."

A laugh escaped Altair's full lips in a huff of air like a small white ghost right before his lips in the cold air. "I thought we already left the stage of cheesy pick-up lines behind us."

"Did that fall from heaven hurt; 'cause it looked like it was a long fall – you're an angel is what I'm trying to say." It was hard to say it was a serious expression and without laughing, but therefore it was Altaїr who broke into a fit of laughter.

" _Dio mio!_ You got that one from Ezio! I heard him saying that on the phone to a girl with the most bad Italian accent I've ever heard!", he exclaimed still laughing and gasping for breath, small tears already formed in the corners of his eyes (the cold air burning in his eyes sure added to them). All the stress and troubles of that past year was worth this laughter and Malik couldn’t imagine a life without it or without Altaїr cackling about the stupidest things. He needed his snickering, his cackling, his giggling and his full and heartwarming deep laugh like oxygen and he never in his life had even hoped to one day feel exactly like this.

While they kept strolling down the street hand in hand towards the parking lot where they had left the car and while Altaїr tried to calm himself from this cheesy pick-up-line-attack on his humor-center, the small gears in Malik's brain were already turning and his mind steaming from hard work. He would ask _the_ question and he knew he would go down on one knee for Altaїr (he would even kneel in the snow), but no matter how much he had planned this and thought about it, now that the moment was there, he had no fucking clue at all how he should frame the words. He knew Ezio and the kids would stay up to wait for them, the champagne ready to celebrate their engagement – and this knowledge did not make it any easier, neither did the feeling of the small box in his left front pocket which was pressing deeper into his leg with every step, reminding him on its presence. Dear god he never felt more nervous in his whole life! He never had been more helpless!

"You're such an idiot." The voice of his boyfriend sounded very close to his ear and his breath tickled the skin below his earlobe and let Malik stop in the middle of the sidewalk. The parking lot was close now, but when he looked up (beyond Altaїr's head) he could see the very bus-stop Altaїr had sat over a year ago. Did they pass this bus-stop on their way to the diner too? He really couldn’t remember. But Malik only lifted his brows when he again looked into the face of the younger boy and noticed the small, mischievous grin that pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"What did I do this time?" Malik smirked and he really expected many things to spill from Altaїr's pretty mouth, but surely not what came next.

"Do you wanna marry me?" The words stumbled over the lips of the birthday-boy just like they stumbled over Malik's own on Christmas and Altaїr's expression was serious and firm this time, although he was still smiling. There wasn’t even the hint of fear in his beautiful amber-eyes that Malik could possibly reject him.

Malik remained silent – oh so very, very silent – like had suddenly lost his voice, but then he couldn’t help but follow the urge to grin like a stupid teenager. "Actually I wanted to ask you the same question tonight." Altaїr did not even try to fake a surprised look (why should he? Malik already attacked him with that very question a few weeks ago!)

"I know, but I thought I should have mercy with you and your struggle and just ask myself so I would spare you from getting grey hair." There was that mischievous little sparkling again in his bright eyes.

"Had it been so very obvious?" – Was his poker face so very, very bad?

"Oh come on Malik! The lines on your forehead were so deep tonight that every free climber would have had their joy with them! Other than that why should you possibly invite me to dinner in that particular diner - which you did not even like by the way – when we're living on the other side of town with many, many good restaurants all over the place?" Well, he should never underestimate Altaїr – not that he did or that he hadn’t thought him capable of figuring all this out, but Malik just hadn’t thought about the mere possibility that Altaїr would think twice about his intentions. "Well, what now? It's not so very nice letting me wait so long for an answer?" Altaїr teased grinning and he left Malik no other choice then to grab the boy by his neck to push their mouths together in a hungry excuse of a kiss. It was a short one, although Malik rather would pushed his back against the stupid wall of the stupid bus-stop and although he rather would have shoved his tongue into his mouth to conquer and claim him as _his_ \- and his alone forever, for no one else to touch him ever ( _not ever_ ) again – but instead he freed him after just a small moment even though he kept staying very, very close (oh so close), so he could feel Altaїr's breath on his face, while Altaїr did not seem to have any intentions of letting him go, with his hands on Malik's hips to hold him close.

"Shouldn’t I get a ring?" Malik grinned so close by Altaїr's lips, that the boy could feel them move; while Malik's greedy fingers brushed his cheek (he cursed his gloves for not being able to feel the soft skin!). He should’ve known the little devil would turn the tables on him, when he would wait any longer. Altaїr's right hand let go of his hip and he felt his fingertips brushing over his leg between their bodies, which were so tightly pressed together. They moved towards his crotch and just for a small moment he could feel the teasing fingers dancing over his cock hidden under the fabric of his (like Altaїr would say: _ridiculous_ ) dress-pants, before his skilled fingers slid under the button tab of his coat, under the coat itself and then crept towards Malik's left front pocket. The grin on Malik's face was so big it hurt and he was sure Altaїr felt it against his own, when Altaїr shoved his fingers into his pocket without dropping his gaze off Malik's face for just even a second. Greedy and impatient fingers stole the small box from his pocket and opened it between them carefully.

"You sneaky little thief." Malik chuckled, but Altaїr only grabbed his left hand to pull off his glove and slid carefully and so very skilled the bigger of the two gold rings over his left ring-finger. The ring fit like a glove (of course it did, because Malik had tried it on before he bought the rings). "You're very convinced that I'm going to marry you, no?" Malik teased with a small smile, when he looked down on his hand and the glistening gold ring, before he grabbed Altaїr's right hand, stole his glove and did the very same thing to him. It was this moment (when he slid the second ring over Altaїr's right ring-finger), when Malik was reminded painfully of the loss of its left twin and that Bill only cut it off because Malik had given a ring to the boy before, which only worsened the man's rage against the teenager and caused that punishment.

"Oh you certainly have no other choice. Those rings cost me a fortune!" Altaїr grinned. "And don’t even think about me accepting your name."


	9. the name game

Malik Al-Sayf had known from the beginning that his way in life wouldn't be an easy one, when he decided he would walk this path by the side of Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad. The first year of their relationship, which they should’ve used to get to know each other and to float on little fluffy pink clouds hadn’t been easy to start with, but they managed way more crisis and much more trouble during that first year together than most other couples. They survived all the drama, even the court-hearing and the decision of the judge on behalf of the custody and guardianship over the kids which they both loved so dearly. They managed to get over all those little obstacles of the everyday life, over every little fight and by the end of last year they even managed to survive the trial of Bill Miles, who would hopefully receive his well-deserved punishment as soon as possible for all he did to Altaїr and the boys over the course of twelve long dreadful years. Yes, they survived all this, their relationship survived all this no matter how fragile it was in the beginning, but nothing (not one of those problems) was more insurmountable than the question of which name they should use as a _married_ couple.

It began after Malik's … well, after his somewhat failed proposal and dragged on and on for two whole months now. Malik had thought about a wedding in summer so they could have a little party outside, but if it would keep going on like this, they wouldn’t be married in ten years still.

"Do you know which name is much shorter and way easier to write?" Malik lurked by the kitchen door on that very special Thursday afternoon (that wasn't special at all), while he watched Altaїr filling in some seemingly important documents for university and frowning over the much too short field for the signature. Indeed his fiancé lifted his head just a little to spare him a curious glance, so wrapped up in his thoughts and his work that he couldn’t process the question how he would normally do. " _Al-Sayf_."

Altaїr only furrowed his brows at this. "And do _you_ know who is going to kick your sorry ass any moment now? Ibn-La'Ahad."

"And do _you_ know who is going to sleep on the _no-sex-side_ tonight?"

He just got himself a small grunting noise from his _darling fiancé_ , before Malik could retreat from the kitchen-door and step back into the hallway, but surely not without a small chirp in the direction of the kitchen. " _Altaїr Al-Sayf!"_

"Fuck you!" He did not need to wait for a response, because it came promptly from the kitchen, while Malik put on his shoes in the doorway with a wide grin on his face, just because he had managed to piss Altaїr off again. It was like that between them since Altaїr's birthday in January. At every opportunity they would bicker about the _name-question (_ how the kids called it), because the kids refused to use such a long and ridiculous name like Al-Sayf-Ibn-La'Ahad or Ibn-La'Ahad-Al-Sayf in the future when they would need to write the name of their emergency-contact or their guardian at any point in their lives. They simply wouldn’t do it and they surely would never say that name right. And then there was Altaїr who also refused to join their names because his own name was already long enough and he wasn’t too thrilled about the idea of getting a cramp in his hand every time he would need to write that name. They had no other choice than coming to terms with each other, no matter how hard it would be for them, because neither of them wanted to give up their name, while Ezio, Connor and Desmond would sure enough be glad to get rid of the name _Miles_ at last.

 _Malik Ibn-La'Ahad_ , he thought and made a face. _Sounds terrible_. _Altaїr Al-Sayf_ on the other hand had a nice sound to it, at least in his ears.

It wasn’t that Malik wouldn’t understand how Altaїr felt. They both carried their parent's heritage on their shoulders and in Altaїr's case it was even more so an heirloom of his late father which he never had the good fortune of knowing in person. He could understand why Altaїr wanted to keep his beloved father's name, but that did not change Malik's wish to also carry on his parent's name, even though he had Kadar who could pass the name to future generations (not like Malik would even do that).

"I really don’t understand why you don’t just mix your names if it's that big of a deal." Kadar murmured standing by the door. "Or why you won't just keep your own names. What's so important about having the same name?"

"It’s a matter of principle." That was Malik's answer to that question and Kadar Al-Sayf (who would luckily keep his name without influence of his brother's marital issues) just rolled his big blue eyes at this proof of utter and absolutely absurd stubbornness.

"A matter of principle my ass." The elementary-school-kid sighed when he zipped up his jacket. "I thought you two were adults, shouldn’t you find a solution for that horrible, horrible problem? It's just a name and not the end of the world."

Malik was silent at first, when he put on his coat and grabbed his car-keys, knowing that Altaїr would eavesdrop again from the kitchen while the brothers would talk. He knew that their little war about their future name was absurd and ridiculous and that it wasn't even worth the stress, because he already knew how it would end. He already knew they would both keep their own name and that nothing would change but the ring on his finger, but as long as this fight wasn’t over he still wanted to at least try to change Altaїr's mind. Not until he left the house with Kadar Malik opened his mouth again.

"Well you see, in my opinion you should use the same name as your spouse when you're getting married and become a family with the other person."  Maybe (much likely so) he was a little bit old fashioned, yes. That simply was the way he was! He was the boring, stiff old man in this conglomerate family and Kadar's face really pictured all those exact thoughts pretty much exactly when he just raised one eyebrow in the same fashion Malik would, while he followed his big brother to his car.

"You know that this wouldn’t change the fact, that the rest of us would still be named differently than you and Altaїr, right? Ezio, Connor and especially Desmond would still be the _Miles-Boys_ and I would still be an Al-Sayf."

"Smart ass…" – was Malik's reply when he finally got into his car and turned on the engine. First he would pick up Ezio from school and on his way to Kadar's rehab he would drop the boy off at _Creed's café_ for the afternoon shift and after the rehab he would pick up Desmond from Shaun's and Connor from school on his way home. Since he lived together with Altaїr and the boys he could at least understand how family-fathers must feel. Never in his life had he spent more money on gas in a week than now.

"You know I'm right." Kadar grinned triumphant and put his seatbelt on although he already knew that Ezio would ban him to the abyss of the backseat as soon as he would get into the car. If necessary he would even use violence against the little bug (gently violence of course) when he would need to move Kadar to the backseat where kids belonged.

Malik only interfered on very rare occasions when the kids would fight. He did not want to appear partial if he would overly protect Kadar and if Kadar would run his big mouth against one of the boys he should be able to deal with the impending echo. The boy needed to learn that because Malik wouldn’t be there every time to protect him and other than this Malik knew already that Ezio would never harm Kadar or the other boys in any serious way and least of all on purpose. The other day Ezio and Desmond had a little show-fight on the playground near their home but in the end Desmond had come home with a bloody face, split lips and carried by a ghostly pale Ezio. It seemed the brothers exaggerated their game a little bid and the result was that Desmond had banged his head (face first, because why not?) against the monkey bar. Well now they had three members of the family with matching scars and if Connor would manage to get the very same one on the very same side of his face too Malik then really would consider sterilizing all four brothers so their clumsy and stupid genetics couldn’t be passed to future generations. At least Malik was sure that Ezio still scourged himself for the wound that would disfigure his baby brother's cute face from now on and of course Desmond had back-chipped the remorse of his dumber big brother for getting candies.

"If I would admit that it could be possible that you might be in the right here, will you shut up?" Malik sighed heavily while leaving the driveway cautiously and driving down the street towards Ezio's high-school.

"Nope."

Of course not. Kadar war eleven. Of course he wouldn’t shut up even when his life would depend on it. He was like Desmond, they were children. Connor was way easier to handle. Connor was well-behaved and cute (much like a little teddy). It wasn’t that much of a surprise that they would point to Connor for a good example how a child should behave when the little ones would misbehave again and Connor would let them with a smug grin on his face knowing that he was the _good kid_. It hadn’t been as easy in the beginning especially with Kadar and Desmond, after all Desmond was used to being the baby and getting a different kind of attention than the other boys, but he would always be the baby of their family and it had been quite hard for Malik to prove to the boy that he wouldn’t neglect him now that he had his own little brother back.

And it surely hadn’t been easy when they decided that Desmond and Kadar would need to share a room (after this decision Desmond was much more often in their bed than before). The house might be big, but not big enough so four kids could have their separate rooms. The decision was a quick one to put Kadar in Desmond's room. Ezio was in full bloom of puberty and really needed his own room (other than this he had the smallest room) and Connor was way too shy to have a _foreign_ child in his reign (and he really lit up since he had his own refugee). Desmond – as the youngest – just had picked the losers lot and sure as hell he had been pissed when he watched them stacking his little paradise with a bunk-bed.

"When Ezio leaves for college-"

"Yes, then you'll get his room." Malik moaned. He really lost count how many times the kid asked him that question already.

"Why did you know I would ask that?"

"You're eleven Kadar."

Kadar pouted. Malik did not need to _see_ that he pouted, he could _smell_ and _sense_ it. "What's wrong?" he then asked his eyes still glued to the street, after all he was transporting precious freight. He was driving even more carefully than any other time when the children would be in his car.

"Is Ezio leaving for College because I'm with you?"

Kadar was a spoiled brat (at times), but he wasn’t selfish (at times) and he accustomed well to the other kids – especially to Ezio who could teach a child Kadar's age so much stupid stuff. Malik really wanted to pet Kadar with his right hand, but he left it on the steering wheel where it belonged.

"No, you idiot. I think he just wants to enjoy life on the campus. You know: no rules, girls, alcohol, no mean Malik that would scold him for being late… Believe me the boy will be sooner back home than you can even imagine just because he will miss us." Malik grinned. He already could imagine how it all would happen as soon as Ezio would leave for Boston for winter semester this year. First he would use paltry excuses to find his way home (and because _Mummy_ needed to wash his clothes), then he would stay the night every now and then and at last he would just say he was so often at home with them he could as well come back (it was either that or because his roommate wasn’t to his liking). It was much likely that they would never had the house for themselves and free of children and Malik couldn’t even say that he would find that thought displeasing. Of course he cherished and enjoyed the moments alone with his fiancé and they both were still young enough to have their whole lives (hopefuls together) in front of him, but he couldn’t imagine how silent and lonely it would be in that big house without the boys. It had been horrible enough in that one month when the kids had been with the Millers.

"But he can't get his room back when he comes back." Kadar decided and it was much likely that he already planned on rebuilding Ezio's room to his liking. Ezio's chambers would need to be prepared first for the demanding of the spoiled eleven year old so it would please the little prince. Back then Malik had laughed about Altaїr when Desmond would demand something from his big brother in that princely-fashion, back then Malik had bugged Altaїr that the three of them had spoiled their baby brother rotten and that he was behaving like King Louis the fourteenth, but now he had to accept that it wasn’t just Altaїr who dug himself a hole from which he would never escape.

"No he can't, don’t worry, buddy." Malik laughed. "If he decides to come back to us he needs to sleep in the living room from then on … or I guess we could as well build him a kennel in the garden, I bet Connor would love that." And if Malik would have to give an honest answer, he would say he would miss having Ezio around. He would even miss the evenings when he would come home later and would find Ezio and Altaїr laying side by side in the big bed, starring at the ceiling and talking. He even would miss being not able to use the bathroom for hours because Ezio needed to groom himself or how the boy would try to sneak out at night and still thought they wouldn’t notice. And yes - even if he did not like to admit it - he would be worried sick. He would be probably even more worried than Altaїr.

They could already see the school and the first few students running for the bus or strolling towards the parking lot, but Malik parked his car near the entrance on the sideway like he did every time when he picked him up (much more often lately since they had this arrangement going on between them). But no matter how hard Malik starred - no trace of Ezio. "He is dilly-dallying again." Malik moaned annoyed and risked a small glance to his phone. No new messaged, no Ezio. It really wasn’t something new that Ezio would run late, but normally he at least tried to be at time when he knew that Malik would be there to pick him up for work.

"Who is that bald guy? He doesn't look like a student." Kadar suddenly said with a curious look on his face and in that always demanding tone that only a kid could have, thinking his big brother would really know all the answers no matter what. Malik had to lean over Kadar a little so he could peek out his window and follow his pointed finger towards the ominous bald guy to hopefully identify him and satisfy his brother's curiosity.

"Oh no way, what does he want here?" Malik growled finally and already unfastened his seatbelt  even though he still leant over Kadar to watch the scene from Kadar's window, no matter how much he annoyed the little guy with that or how much Kadar would nag about it. He could identify Robert de _fucking_ Sable already just by looking at the stupid back of his stupid bald head and wherever Robert appeared there wasn’t going to be sunshine and rainbows. His very first encounter with Robert had been a year ago in _Creed's Café_ when he nearly ran into him and little Desmond while fleeing from the shop and after that close encounter there had been many others and none of them was to be described as pleasant in any way whatsoever. He had learned from Ezio at one point that Robert had been going to school with Altaїr before he left for College (if it was for Malik he would say it was extremely unlikely for a college student of Boston University to be so often down here in Dorchester and much too often at _Creed's Café_ although he hated one of the baristas working there).

"Stay here, Kadar." Malik then murmured with a low voice and opened the door behind him swiftly (not even bothering to first look into the mirror if it was safe to open the door like this, like he would normally do, but there was that sinking feeling in his stomach that something was wrong).

"What? Why?" Kadar whined. Of course he did. He wouldn’t be Kadar if he wouldn’t talk back and whine and because he was his little brother he was quite immune to his gloomy looks even now. It was the very same look their mother had brought to perfection during her life, but it had had a better effect on Kadar then Malik's version of it.

"Because I said so and because I will now search for Ezio and whoop his ass. We don’t have time to dilly-dally so you'll stay here and wait until I'm back." And this time Malik would not have any kind of back-talk from his brother when he finally got out of the car, rounded the vehicle and flashed him a last stern look, knowing that Kadar would give a shit about it and follow him anyway if it would take Malik and Ezio too long in his opinion. It really wasn’t impatience that drove Malik forwards, it was this distinct feeling that grew and grew inside his stomach. Something wasn’t right. Something was not right at all and the sight of Robert on the school's property did not make that feeling go away.

Swiftly and skilled he managed to pass the fleeing students without running into them and entered the yard, but there was no sight of stupid Ezio flirting with some girl and no Ezio standing by the entrance staring at his stupid phone again, but there was Robert walking casually in the directions of the garbage containers. Malik moved without even thinking about following Robert when he did. He couldn’t shake off that uneasy feeling, instead it grew stronger with every step in the direction Robert took. His target vanished into the safety of the dumpster-area in the small corner of the yard. It was a confined area surrounded by semi high brick walls, just high enough to hide the containers where students would normally hide to smoke cigarettes or weed. But Malik stopped and listened instead of just barging in and confronting Robert. He could hear voices from beneath the wall and that ugly sneering laugh of the Frenchman which Malik hated with such utter pleasure.

"So that's the little rat that shoved its nose in other people's business. I shouldn’t be surprised, Miles." Robert's voice was dull behind the brick wall and he was sure that he big containers also swallowed a the sound but it was enough so Malik's blood ran cold in his veins by the sound of the name Robert muttered and the following sound of pain. Ezio's voice was just as deeply buried in his conscience as Desmond's, Kadar's, Altaїr's and Connor's. He would recognize it under a thousand.

Malik Al-Sayf was no violent man and he was no jealous man or a possessive man. Malik Al-Sayf was no man who was violent, jealous or possessive _before-Altaїr_. It wasn’t like he would be running around punching people since he was with Altaїr or that he would lose his mind if seeing his _sweetheart_ talking to another guy. No sir. But every time Malik Al-Sayf would see Robert de _fucking_ Sable there was this distinct urge to push him face down in the dirt. Until now this fury had shown its ugly face only when he spotted the guy around Altaїr ( _his_ Altaїr), but now it concerned Ezio. It was Ezio who was threatened and that did not soften his rage in the slightest.

Oh he would never forget that one afternoon when he first thundered his fist in that ugly sneering face of this bald guy or how good it had felt. Of course Altaїr scolded him afterwards. He did not need some knight in shining armor to defend his honor or to protect him, he was no damsel in distress, he could fight for himself, but _Oh God!_ it had been worth it! And all of that just because he had seen Robert grabbing Altaїr by his apron, when he entered the coffee shop that day. It was stupid and it was absurd, but something just snapped within Malik by that sight. Maybe it was his worries that Altaїr wouldn’t fight back in the coffee-shop because he was afraid of losing his job if someone like Robert would file a complaint by Mr. Creed. But no matter what it was, he had put this guy to flight and that was all that mattered for him back then.

And now there it was again, that feeling. He felt how something in him snapped, when he rounded the wall and stepped closer. Ezio was the first to notice him and Malik only had the blink of a second to process the scene unfolding in front of him. There was blood dripping over Ezio's face, it dripped from his bruised nose and run over his lips. His whole face was a fucking bloody mess and covered in dirt for Christ's sake! Even his hair was clumped with the dark red liquid and his left shoulder looked horrible disfigured and was only a big ugly clump while his arm just hung there lifeless. Under the blood and the dirt he was ghostly pale and the stench of vomit burned in Malik's nostrils even before he could look closely at the bloodstains on Ezio's clothes or the blood on the container right opposite of him.

The boy was kneeling on the ground like a beaten dog and he did not look like he could even stand on his own two feet anymore, but his pride did not allow him to give in to the pain - not in front of Robert and the other two guys. They stood behind him like guards and kept him down on the ground even though an attempt of escape seemed nearly impossible now for Ezio. He did not need to be a genius to recognize the teenager with the long black hair and the sun kissed skin as Cesare Borgia. Ezio had told him often enough about that asshole and his _best friend_ (more of a handyman) Micheletto Corella, which stood behind Ezio and held his large hand on Ezio's head to push it down in the dirt again if necessary.

After Ezio saw him it was not even a second before Micheletto and Cesare noticed him as well, but Robert had not nearly enough time to react when Malik grabbed him by the shoulder, flung him around and pushed his balled fist right into his face. Never had he enjoyed a sound more than the cracking of his nose under his knuckles. Cesare's stupid grin vanished almost immediately from his face.

"Hands off my brother." Malik growled and the words escaped his throat without the need to think about them first. It was not new that he called them boys his brothers because they were exactly that (with exception of Desmond, because he really was more the Baby and their child). They were soon to become his brothers _in law_ and with that his family, his flesh and blood - _his -_ but this time, in this situation it sounded different. Malik had no time to study Ezio's surprised face because Robert's counterattack took him offhand even though he should have expected the punch. It was the first time the Frenchman had the balls to hit back, normally he would just run when he spotted Malik in the distance, but Malik was somewhat glad that this poor bastard was dumb enough to hit his chin. He wanted to have an excuse to beat that guy to a pulp so desperately. He just wanted just a little, stupid excuse to pay him back for everything he did to Altaїr in school. It took Malik long enough to get all those information out of his stubborn fiancé about the things that happened between him and Robert and now he was even angrier to see that asshole near Ezio.

Malik stumbled a few steps back but he caught himself fast, ready to throw himself against the guy who had the nerves to lay hand on his family.

Micheletto was the first to grab Malik and it wasn't like Malik hadn't him expected to, but he hadn't expected the power that this teenage-boy possessed. How stupid of him, after all the times Ezio told him how Micheletto was in the wrestling team of school. The fight was already over before it even started to be honest. Even though Malik was just a pencil pusher, he knew how to fight if necessary, but three against one was way too much and Ezio did not seem to be much help in his condition, even if he fought his way to stand up again and pulled Cesare back with his good arm.

Malik only saw from the corner of his eye how Ezio grabbed Cesare hard by the neck only to bash his own head against his archenemy's head. Cesare's cry of pain was loud and surprised when he stumbled backwards and Malik was suddenly extremely proud of Ezio. Cesare was just good in hurting people but not so good in receiving the proper answer for his behavior.

Ezio's action did not changed anything about Micheletto crashing against Malik or about the fact that Robert used this moment to kick his right knee as hard as he could or thrusting his knee against Malik's chin as soon as his knee gave in. Malik's head was pounding from the pain of the kick, but he still managed to free himself from Micheletto and knocking Robert from his feet with a well-placed kick. Malik already lost sight of Cesare and Ezio when there were only him, Robert and Micheletto and that tangle of limbs and kicks and punches.

Malik had to receive some nasty blows but he cared for not being the only one who would go home with scratches and bruises, Kadar in his car and the appointments they had already forgotten when he sidestepped one of Micheletto's swings which instead hit Robert on his right temple. For just a split second the French really looked like he was about to get his revenge from his buddy, but then he aimed for Malik again who managed to pare the next blow but wasn’t fast enough to watch out for Micheletto's attack.

"You fucking faggot" Robert hissed between his attacks on Malik, which the Syrian tried to either avoid or pare. He had gotten himself into this fight without even knowing what it was about in the first place and of course he knew how dumb it has been. He should've had called police first and he normally would've had done exactly that. This was nothing like him at all, but still he was here now, fighting with some teenagers on a high school yard. "Don’t poke your fucking nose in things that doesn't concern you, Al-Sayf!"

"You made it concern me when you attacked my family." Malik cursed under his breath and spit the blood from his mouth at Robert's left shoe. Right from the corner of his eye he could already see how Micheletto tried to grab him from behind again like the wrestler he was but Malik managed again to avoid him skilled and instead the Italian stumbled with his left shoulder against one of the containers, bleeding like everyone else in this fight already and already tired. Somewhere near there was a scream sounding a lot like Cesare and suddenly Micheletto's attention was visibly shaken. Malik used that chance to thrust his elbow against Micheletto's jaw. The boy tumbled and staggered against the container again much to dizzy to fight back again immediately.

"Oh look at that, how lovely." Robert moaned his grin an ugly grimace with pink stained teeth and a nasty, bleeding cut on his bald head where he was pushed against the container before.  Malik really couldn’t deny that he was proud of his work already. The scar Robert would carry from now on would always remind him to not mess with Malik or his family. "I'm warning you, Al-Sayf, if you don’t stay out of my business I will give a visit to your bitch next time. I guess he doesn’t need his dick anymore anyway, right? Or I shall go and have a few words with that shitty little brat, what was his name again? Desmond?"

Malik's face was nothing more than an ugly mask when he crashed against Robert with all his weight to push him with the back against the container. Robert's scream was like music in his ears and the satisfaction never bigger than now in this very moment.  "If you ever try to get near my family again, de Sable, I _will_ rip your dick off and feed it to you." Malik hissed his voice low and dangerous, his eyes nearly black when he looked at the younger male. "And then we'll see who the faggot is and who will crawl on all fours like a needy bitch." His fist dug into the soft of Robert's stomach - for good measure - a last time, a warning to not come after Malik again, right before he could hear Ezio's panicked voice.

" _Hey! W-Where did you get that?! Put that thing down you sick bastard!"_

Malik did not even know how and why but it did not cost him more than a second to free himself from Robert and to follow Ezio's voice. He found him and Cesare not far from the dumpster area in a shadowy corner of the building. Cesare was standing with his back to him and Ezio was pushed back into the corner of the school (Malik did not even waste any second thought about how Ezio managed to fight against Cesare in his bad condition until now). Malik's knee was hurting like hell, but the pain was irrelevant when he finally saw the struggle between them boys and when he finally noticed the _thing_ Cesare was holding and which Ezio tried so desperately to grab and wield from his fingers.

When the first shot rang it was like his whole world shattered to pieces in just that instant. When the first shot rang and when he could see Ezio slump to the ground it was like the doctor was there with him again to tell him his parents had died or like in that moment when he told Malik that Kadar was in coma and that he might never wake up again. Malik ran before he even knew himself he was running. There was already blood on the ground when he reached Cesare and grabbed him by the shoulder to turn him around with all the force he had still in him. His face was ghostly pale, his brown eyes shocked because of what he had done, but that did not concerned Malik. He grabbed for the gun and did not even know why or what he would do if he would get it.

He wanted to hurt that boy, he wanted to feed him his own medicine and he wanted to kneel at Ezio's side and try to stop the bleeding and help him so he wouldn’t even dare vanishing from his life. Instead he struggled with Cesare and fought for the gun like Ezio before - like the idiot he now was in that moment of fear and anxiety and numbness. Ezio was bleeding on the ground and he wasn’t moving. _He was not moving_. That was all Malik could think about when he fought with Cesare. Ezio wasn’t moving. His brother wasn’t moving. His family was once again torn to shreds because his beloved little brother wasn’t moving. His annoying, stupid, bull-headed, big-mouthed beloved little brother.

When the second shot fell it did not rang in his ears and so did not the third soon after. Malik did not even felt the pain that shot through his body when he lost balance from the impact and fall to the ground. He did not feel how the blood war pouring from his body when he slumped down next to Ezio and he did not feel how Cesare jumped panicked over his body to run for dear life and he did not even hear the scream of his brother's little voice just a few feet away when he looked at Ezio's pale face right before him.

Well, Malik Al-Sayf had known right from the start that life wouldn’t be easy by the side of Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad. He really had known what he was getting himself into and to what troubles he would commit himself. He had known. He had also known that he would love not only Altaїr with all his heart if he would let this boy steal the little lump in his chest, he had known that he would love his brothers just as much and just like they were his own. He had known that he would always be ready to give his own life for the sake of his family. But he clearly never imagined it would end like this, in a puddle of blood, next to his future brother in law laying on a dirty school yard, shot by an idiot teen for a reason he couldn't even name.


	10. Al-Sayf

Altaїr hated hospitals. There was hardly any other place in Dorchester he hated more than the hospital, no matter how familiar this place was for him and his brothers - Well maybe this was exactly the reason why he hated this place so much. He did not know how many hours he had spent here already in the past because of all those little cuts and scratched, because all those bruises and small head injuries or because the uncountable incidents when one of the boys needed stitching or had broken another bone. Most of the times that he had been here it were only on behalf of his brothers and only on rare occasions on behalf of himself. It wasn’t that he hadn't needed the help of the doctors, but he never knew how he should come here without alarming the little ones. Every time he was injured his little siblings had panicked so much, it would have been even worse if he would've gone to the hospital. How should he have comforted the baby while some doctor would try to examine him and to dress his wounds? No. he was the big brother. He was the invincible, indestructible big brother. He was the invincible, indestructible big brother who now sat again in a hospital waiting area and did not know what to do.

That was the truth about indestructible, invincible big brothers: they were helpless. Altaїr remembered not one event in his life that had something to do with this place when he did not felt helpless or frightened to the core. He never knew what to do, he simply did the things he thought were right and hoped for the best possible outcome, but now … now he sat again on one of those plastic chairs in the waiting area of the emergency room like countless times before and just wanted to hide his face behind his hands, but how should he with little Desmond sitting on his lap?

All he could do was holding the little one and hoping that he would finally stop crying and looking to the reception desk. He still remembered the night when they were here after midnight just because Ezio had cut his hand by one of those clever climbing-actions he used to do back then. Free-running and parkour had been his newest hobby back when he was fifteen. But tonight they did not stand by the nurses-desk and waited that some doctor would stitch Ezio back together and he couldn’t distract Desmond or Connor with ice-cream this time. Tonight Connor sat by his right side, white as a freshly washed sheet and Kadar to his left. The boy hadn't really spoken a word until now. They all hardly talked until now.

Exhausted he petted Desmond's head and tried to stroke the tears from his warm, moist cheeks, but it was forlorn hope, because the tears just kept coming and coming and even a chaste kiss to the crown of his head did not help, the boy only held tighter to Altaїr and searched just more and more for his presence like it would help if he would just hold tight enough onto his brother. The world would stay good and complete when he would just hold on to his big brother, but it really was Altaїr this time who wanted to cry and bawl and rage and destroy everything in his way.

He was helpless. He was clueless. He was more afraid than ever in his entire life, even more afraid than on that day in court and his jaw felt like it was made of iron. He wouldn’t be able to open his mouth and speak, even when Connor softly pulled at his arm. He just looked down to his brother who looked up to him with his big brown puppy-eyes full of worry. Finally Altaїr took one hand off Desmond's back und softly caressed Connor's little head and brushed his finger through his soft black hair.

"I need to pee…" Connor mumbled and just now Altaїr looked to the clock on the wall for the first time in forever. They were here for hours now, of course the little one needed to pee and of course he was just as tired as he was, but there was no way to even think about sleeping or to leave the hospital no matter how much he would like to run with those three kids and never look back. Altaїr nodded, but Connor did not make a move although he already knew the way to the restrooms.

"Are you afraid to go alone?" Altaїr finally managed even though he had the feeling he needed to pry open his jaw first so he could move it right to talk. Connor nodded a little. He wasn’t afraid because of the way to the restrooms or to not find his way back, he was probably more afraid that Altaїr wouldn’t be here anymore when he would come back or that the doctors already had spoken to him about Ezio and Malik and to find his big brother in a state of utter distress and sorrow. Before Altaїr could say anything else, he felt how Desmond moved and finally freed himself from his big brother's arms (although Altaїr would rather hold him in place).

"I'm coming with you." He muttered with a hoarse voice from crying so much, when Altaїr finally let him go and back to his feet. His little face was white with red blotches and he looked really tired, but he grabbed Connor's hand nonetheless to pull his big brother with him and lead the way. Suddenly Altaїr felt lonelier than ever before now that his two brothers left his side. It was only Kadar who stayed with him and he stayed quiet just as vehemently as Malik sometimes would when he was angry with Altaїr.

"Is Malik dying?" He murmured quietly after Desmond and Connor vanished from sight and for just this one second Altaїr wanted to slap him. He felt this unbearable urge to just do it only for the imagery that his words produced or because the kid even thought about the possibility that Malik could die. Malik's death was out of question and so was Ezio's. They simply weren't allowed to die. Not now and not like this.

"I don’t know." He instead answered. He wanted to tell him and assure him that Malik wouldn’t die. He wanted to encourage him that Malik wouldn’t dare doing this to their family, but then again it wouldn’t be right to lie to this precious child. He couldn’t show his helplessness in front of his own brothers, because they trusted him that he always would know what to do even though he did not. But he couldn’t and needn't hide for Kadar. "What happened, Kadar?"

When he turned his head to look at the boy, big blue eyes stared back at him. Normally the little imp would love to annoy the shit out of him or Malik at every given opportunity, but suddenly Kadar looked different - no, he _was_ different. Kadar shrugged his small shoulders and when Altaїr noticed how he began playing with his jacket he couldn’t help but close one arm around his shoulders. Just telling by the way Kadar leant into the touch he could tell that he waited for this the whole time. He was afraid, just like every one of them.

Altaїr would never forget this day. He would never forget how the phone startled him when he was about to load the washing machine with stained and dirty and muddy children's clothes after Desmond and Connor and Kadar had played outside yesterday again right after the rain stopped. He would never forget the voice of the doctor talking to him. At first he thought there was an accident and his heart slipped down into his pants, but then there was the word _shooting_ and his whole world shattered into pieces and simply stopped turning. Altaїr did not even know how he managed to pick up the boys and get the car and come to the hospital where Kadar already waited for him. Ezio and Malik had been shot, that was all the little guy told him. _Shot_. In what kind of world where they living that those two got shot?!

His happiness lasted for one year and four months before his shattered at last again, before destiny simply decided it was about time for him to let go again, to let Malik and Ezio go at last and Altaїr wasn’t ready for this and he wouldn't have it. He would not lose a brother _and_ a fiancé. What would become of Kadar if Malik would die? They wouldn’t let him stay with Altaїr, not after all they already gone through last year with his own brothers. They would take him out of their home and put him into foster care or an orphanage. And what would become of him and the boys? The house was fully paid already, but how should they go on without Malik? How should they go on without Ezio?

He had never been without his brother. It was always him and Ezio against the rest of the world. They were a sworn team, an alliance that would have each other back at any time. He couldn’t go on without him. It wouldn’t work without him. It wouldn’t work without Malik. He couldn't do it on his own!

"They will make it." Kadar murmured quietly before he grabbed Altaїr's free arm and placed it also around himself. The little guy would never say that he wanted a hug, but Altaїr could live with this. Every single one of them had their own little quirks. They were all so very different and on the same time all so very much the same. They were all hungry for love and affection and they all yearend for a family. Maybe it was really this yearning which drove Malik to him. And in this moment Altaїr really did not know if Kadar searched for his presence and a hug because he searched for comfort or if he wanted to comfort Altaїr. "Malik wouldn't die … He wouldn’t die just because he isn't finished with bugging you about the _name-question_. And Ezio won't die because there are still so many girls he hadn't the opportunity to hit on. Other than this he can't die for he promised that he would teach me all his tricks." - Because unlike Desmond and Connor Kadar wasn’t allergic to girl's, oh no quite the contrary.

"Yeah you're right, they won't escape us so easily, right?"

And his thoughts moved back to the moment before Malik left the house this afternoon. He thought about how they kept squabbling and arguing about a name for months and how unnecessary it was and how much better they could've used the time or how much better they could've used this last moment together this afternoon. He could've grabbed him by this ridiculous yellow tie (which Desmond bought him for his last birthday) and kissed him farewell or at least could've smiled at him. And then there was the nagging thought about how it would've been _his_ tour today. Normally he would drive Kadar to his rehab on Thursday and pick up Ezio on the way to kick him out at _Creed's Café_ and pick up the other two. It should've been him today, but he had been so busy with those stupid college documents so Malik had took the duty from him under the condition that Altaїr would take care of the laundry instead. He thought about how he fought with Ezio this morning only because he got a bad grade in math and how he told him he needed to work harder to get better grades so shortly before his exams. He should've rather took him into his arms and hug him and tell him that it wasn’t so important and that he would master his way even with an E in math.

Connor and Desmond really took their time in the bathroom but when they finally came back (still hand in hand and Desmond still leading the way), Desmond's face still looked blotched and Connor still looked terrible tired and sick, but they took their seats again next to their brother and Kadar let go of one of Altaїr's arms so he could flung it around Desmond again who now sat on Connor's chair and leant against his side. They hadn't much time until finally ( _oh finally!)_ after hours and hours that passed one of the doctors came to them again. Altaїr had no clue if he should be glad to see the man and he hesitated to look up at his face until the man stood right in front of him and when his eyes were already fixed on his OP-clothes.

"Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad?" Desmond pinched his side and not until then he lifted his gaze to the doctor's face. He could very well imagine how he must look right now and he did not want a mirror to see it himself. He must've looked incredible tired and pale and worried in this moment, his lips bitten and dry after hours of waiting and fear but still he managed a hoarse "Yes?", although suddenly his mouth felt dry like a desert.

"You can visit your brother now, the surgery was successful." The doctor smiled at his worried expression and even he looked like he really could need sleep. Altaїr nodded to show he understood, but really nothing what the man said had soaked into his brain by now and he wasn’t ready to move at all. He couldn’t process the good information because he still did not felt like it were good ones.

"What about my fiancé?" He then asked carefully like he feared the answer and he really, really did.

"I'm afraid he is still in surgery."

That was not was Altaїr wanted to hear because it just raked his fear, but still he stood up after a moment. He wished he had a third hand so he could hold all three boys' hands at the same time, now that Kadar and Desmond were by his sides and demanding his hands. When they would be all grown up he would probably really miss this feeling. Who would pull at his hands and drag him when they would be all grown up? Who would he pick up and carry on his shoulders or like a monkey on his arms, when Desmond would finally be too big for it? "What about Ezio? How is he?" He needed to distract himself before he would see him. He needed to distract himself so he wouldn’t try to imagine what could await him. What if there would be cables and tubes all over his body? He couldn’t let the little ones see him like that with tubes sticking out of his body…

"The bullet didn’t hurt any organs or arteries but he still lost a lot of blood on the way to the hospital. He is on the mend now, but other than the bullet the boy really took some beatings and he really needs to rest now."

At least that was something Ezio had already mastered in his young life. No one knew better how to rest than his little brother. But still Altaїr wasn’t relieved. How could he? Ezio was alive and he was going to be alright again and he just needed to get better, yes - But who in the right mind would shoot on a seventeen year old boy?! Who shot a seventeen year old boy on a school yard?! No matter _whom_ it was Altaїr would find that bastard and this guy would curse the day he was born when Altaїr would find him. No one harmed one of his little brothers and would get away with it. No one hurt his family and would get away with it.

Hours ago, shortly after they arrived at the hospital and when their nerves were all on edge the police had already been here to talk to them. Altaїr knew that the hospital was bound to inform the cops when it came to a matter of gun-use, but none of them could've said anything helpful and Kadar said he hadn't really seen anything because Malik told him to wait in the car (and god bless the man for this decision). Everything, the little one could tell the police was, that he had seen a black haired boy fleeing the scene.

It wasn’t much or really helpful for the police, but at least it was a beginning and Kadar seemed a little relieved that he could help at least a little bit.

The physician lead them through the unending, mazelike corridors and it really did not take long until Altaїr lost all his orientation, not that it really was important. They stopped in front of an innocent looking door, but before Altaїr could even try to open the door he again looked at the doctor at his side. "Is he awake?" He wanted to ask _'did you stick tubes and cabled into my brother?'_ but he did not and it did not seemed necessary because the man seemed to grasp his worry without the need to frame it in words.

"He is still asleep, but chances are good that he will wake up within the next hour, don’t worry. You can go inside with the children and wait there - this is very much more comfortable than the waiting area and as soon as there is any news from Mr. Al-Sayf my colleagues know where to find you."

Altaїr really hoped that for those people, he really did. He nodded at the doctor and when he excused himself finally Altaїr opened the door slowly. No tubes, no blood, no open wounds, no nightmare-pictures for his little brothers, just Ezio who laid there really pale in his bed with a monitor which beeped quietly and calmly next to him to supervise his pulse.

Suddenly Ezio looked like a small child in this small hospital-bed. He looked so fragile - well probably he just looked so fragile in the eyes of an overly-worried big brother. His left arm was immobilized and his left hand rested on his stomach on top of the covers. It seemed like there had been a fight before the shooting and in this fight Ezio's shoulder had been dislocated. His face was covered in bruises, it was yellow and blue and violet where it wasn’t white as a sheet.

While the little ones slowly crept into the room Altaїr closed the door behind them and shuffled to Ezio's bed. He only went to have a look at his file real quick. No broken bones, but some fractured and bruised rips, dislocated shoulder, a slight concussion, scratches and cuts and contusions … and of course the bullet-wound. Altaїr watched how Desmond stepped closer to Ezio's bed and watched his face like he hadn't seen it before. Just judging by his face the little one wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed with his big brother. He did it like this for all his life now. Desmond was not called their human-warm-water-bottle without reason. He was there when any of them felt sick and cuddled them well again - how he had called it back when he was still small (well smaller). As soon as he would be all grown up he would be terrible ashamed for this habit, that was for sure.

Kadar stood helpless in the middle of the room and Connor stepped closer to Altaїr. It was a shock for the boys seeing their big brother Ezio like this. It had been a shock for them seeing their big brother Altaїr like this one year ago. It was a shock for Altaїr himself seeing his little brother like this and feeling like the biggest loser walking this planet for he hadn't been there to protect his sibling. "Come on, sit down and get yourself comfortable. I guess we will be here for a while." Altaїr smiled and pointed to the sofa in one corner of the room. Maybe the staff had decided to put Ezio in this very room really because of this sofa, knowing that there where children involved that would stay as long as necessary.

Kadar and Connor followed his order, but Desmond stood where he was unmovable like a rock and looked instead a little frowning up to Altaїr. He knew already what the little guy wanted. _Of course he knew_. With a heavy sigh he grabbed him and carefully sat him down on the mattress (of course he had chosen Ezio's right side, the one without a dislocated shoulder and a bullet wound somewhere under his immobilized arm). With practiced ease he took the little shoes of his brother's feet (the one with the blinking heels) and took his jacket before he helped him under the covers of Ezio's bed and tucked them both in. He knew that the staff wouldn't want to see something like this, but nobody told him he needed to be extremely careful with his idiot-brother and maybe a small part of him really hoped that Ezio would feel well faster if he got his warm-water-bottle.

It would help Desmond in any case and it was Altaїr's job to make those kids happy - which included Kadar who sat helpless and a little lost next to Connor. He took a deep breath before he sat down next to the kids on the sofa and dragged his hands through his tired face. "Are you hungry?" He then asked as if it occurred just now to him. "You didn’t eat a thing. I can get you something real quick; I bet they have something in the cafeteria that you'll like."

Both kids shook their head no and even Desmond seemed to be not hungry this time. Well sure they were hungry, just as hungry as Altaїr, but none of them would manage to swallow just one bite. After a small while Kadar got up again to get one of the large blankets from the small cabinet and threw them over himself, Connor and Altaїr, after the two boys got rid of their shoes and jackets. Altaїr was quite sure that it had been more than one hour until Ezio finally woke up.

Next to him Kadar and Connor were already fast asleep. Connor war lying half on top of him and Kadar had his head on the armrest and his feet n Connor's lap. Probably Altaїr wouldn’t have noticed that Ezio was awake at all when he hadn't looked at him right that moment, when the boy blinked slowly. It wasn’t easy to get up without waking the children at his side, but he managed nonetheless and slowly shuffled towards the bed. Desmond had fallen asleep right after Altaїr tucked him in lying in Ezio's arm, exhausted after this long stressful day. The injured boy seemed a little confused when he noticed the little guy at his side.

"Hey…." Altaїr mumbled carefully when he finally stopped at the opposite end of his brother's bed. His hands searched for the feet underneath the blanket, found them and pushed them softly to get Ezio's attention. The boy made a face and grabbed his head with his good hand.

"Hell … what did they give me?" He moaned - groggy, but not as much that he wouldn’t care to startle anyone in the room. Outside the hospital room the night ruled already dark above the city and it was quiet on the hospital floors. There was still no sign of life from Malik. He would go insane if they would keep it up like this with the silence around his fiancé's condition.

"Dunno … Is it good?" Altaїr mumbled but his little smile lacked humor. Ezio only shook his head no and seemingly regretted moving it at all immediately.

"Fuck no. I feel like I have the worst hangover in my entire life." This, of course, did not mean much after the lack of experience in drinking his brother had gathered in his young life. Altaїr would rather ask him immediately what happened to understand how it came to all of this, but he couldn’t bring himself to. "Where's Malik? How is he?" The boy then asked and for the longest moment Altaїr had no answer for him. His silence did not have a relaxing effect on Ezio. "He is still alive, isn't he?"

"Yes." At least that was what Altaїr hoped for. No news was good news, right? "He is still in surgery." Altaїr really tried to appear as calm and collected as he could, just like Malik was simply at the dentists or was getting a bottle of milk from the shop. He couldn’t play Ezio; he saw that just by the way the teen looked at him.

"Fuck…" Ezio whispered. " _Fuck_. That's all my fucking fault, Altaїr."

"What happened?" _What happened that you both got shot?! Any why is it your fault, Ezio? What did you do this time for fuck's sake?!_

"I caught Cesare dealing with drugs today. Not just weed, Altaїr, I mean the real hardcore stuff." And Altaїr already knew what would come next.

"And you talked to him about that." Of course he had.

"Yeah I did. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t know that he would call that Robert-guy and Micheletto for aid, could I? Well I think I should've known, but-"

"If you don’t want that I break your nose, you tell me exactly what happened right from the beginning."

And he did. The story started with a morning-toilet-visit (a trial of flight during math) when Ezio caught Cesare red handed how he sold pills to a younger student. Like the hero (and idiot) Ezio was, he had confronted Cesare right on the spot und of course Cesare answered him with threats with Ezio of course ignored. A teacher caught them during that intervention and shooed them back into classes, but when Ezio left the school this afternoon Micheletto already waited for him and brought him to Cesare and t the dumpsters. The rest of the story was engraved in Ezio's body.

"And then Robert came and-"

"What Robert?"

"De Sable of course - your special friend."

"Robert de Sable?!" It escaped Altaїr a little louder than he planned to. "What did he want at your school, Ezio?" He quieted himself just enough so the kids wouldn’t wake up, after he spared them a look to ensure there were all still fast asleep.

"Well I guess he's something like Cesare's boss or … dunno … I guess he is working with him in any way. I just know he appeared and shortly after this Malik was there and … shit man! If I just wouldn’t tried to play the hero again…"

_If you would have just used your brain for once._

He just waved at the boy. "You couldn’t have known what would happen. You couldn’t have known that Robert would have a gun." Yeah, he couldn’t have known. Ezio was a child, he was a teenager, he couldn’t have known. He wouldn’t have endangered Malik in any way whatsoever. He couldn’t have known Malik would go search for him and that it would all end like this.

"Not Robert. Cesare shot. After I threatened him with calling the cops on him he pulled out a gun. We fought and then fell the first shot and then Malik was there and tried to get the gun." Oh Malik, stupid, stupid Malik. Of course he would throw himself between them. Of course he tried to grab the gun from this child; of course he endangered himself to protect his brother. "He'll make it, right?"

Altaїr had no real chance to answer his brother and he hadn't known what to say either. All he knew was that Malik was in surgery for hours and hours with no end now and that he hadn't heard a single thing from the physicians. He just wanted to open his mouth to pour his heart out on his baby brother and tell him about his fears and worries when there was a small knock at the door which was opened shortly after. A young doctor poked his head into the room and waved at Altaїr who followed the gesture without wasting any second now and without a look back. He even let Kadar sleep for maybe it would be better if he would be alone with Malik first - if he had the chance to see him anyway. Outside Ezio's room he stopped and closed the door tightly behind his back and already prepared himself for the bad news and how he would tell them boys that Malik was dead and how he would comfort and soothe them and how he would bury his loved one on the same cemetery his parents and Altaїr's parents laid. "How is he?" he then asked immediately without granting the physician a chance to speak. He wanted it to be fast like pulling of a band-aide.

"Look for yourself." The man smirked, still wearing his OR-clothes and gesturing towards the room opposite of Ezio's. Through the small window of the door he could see into the room behind the door. It was a little bit smaller than Ezio's and he could watch an intern controlled some last adjustments on the drip that stood next to the bed and slowly dripped and dripped. It really was Malik who was lying in the white bed sheets, even though he did not look too hot and his face did not look any better than Ezio's. Malik's left arm too was immobilized in a tight loop and Altaїr's first thought was how very much chaotic it would be with two one-armed men in the house. He couldn’t see much of his other injured which he certainly got other than his right bandaged hand. A small, relieved sigh escaped his dry lips and Altaїr couldn’t help but lean his forehead tiredly against the cool doorframe.

"Your fiancé really was lucky Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad. Just a few inches more on the right and the bullet would've perforated his lungs." Altaїr felt like his knees were about to give in finally at any moment now or like the ground was a gaping hole underneath his feet. He did not want to think about the _what-if-game_ or what would've happened if the bullet did perforate his lungs. No, it really would be better not to think about this possibility. He just swallowed thickly even though his mouth suddenly felt very, very dry again.

"What's with his arm?" He asked cautiously.

"One of the bullets hit his left shoulder. We are a little worried if he will be able to use his arm like before, because the bullet hurt a nerve. It will take a while until he will be able to move his arm at all but for now we don’t know if the functions of his arm will be limited or not. We need to wait until the wound is fully healed and until he will start his rehab. Until then he needs to rest and he can't leave his bed at any cost." The voice of the physician was stern and his face tired, but Altaїr nodded.

"I'll take care of this, Doc." He promised with a small sigh. "Can I …Can I go to him?" He then asked just when the young intern left the room and smiled courtly at him. Malik finally was in reaching distance, but Altaїr was afraid the doctor would deny his request, instead he nodded.

"Of course, go on." Well that was much easier said than done. Nothing was easy about going in there even though he had waited for this permission the whole time since they arrived at the hospital. He wanted to go to him and to touch him and to talk to him and to hear his voice (and he wanted to slap him because of his stupidity to fight for a loaded gun and he wanted to yell at him because he worried him so much), but suddenly it felt hard to even move. The doctor just patted his shoulder before he turned and left him to go his merry way and just after what seemed to be an eternity Altaїr finally moved. He finally stepped into the room Malik was lying in. he felt helpless and lonely after the door was closed behind his back, but then he managed to step closer and listened to the constant beeping of the small monitor next to the bed. He did not dare to sit on the mattress, he did not dare to touch him when he pulled the chair to the bed and sat down at his side. Nonetheless he gently grabbed his bandaged right hand and pressed it to his left cheek.

"You're such an idiot Al-Sayf." He whispered against the bandages and just took a moment to close his eyes and take a deep breath. _In-and-out-and-in-and-out_. Suddenly he felt like he hadn't breathed for those last hours since he got the phone call. He hadn't had the chance to breath and process. The only thing that kept him going and upright was that he needed to be strong for the kids even when it came to moments like this, even when he wanted nothing more than breaking down in fear and tears. He was so tired of fighting constantly and he was so tired of all this drama in his life. He was just tired.

"Ditto…"

The hand that rested against Altaїr's cheek twitched ever so slightly and when he opened his amber eyes again and looked at Malik's face his dark brown eyes were open. He looked a little bit drowsy, but he was there and he looked at him and he even managed a small, sleepy smile. For a moment Altaїr just stared at him, but then he pressed a kiss to his bandaged hand and wouldn’t let it go for anything in life.

"Don’t you dare doing something like this ever again, Al-Sayf." His voice was hoarse when he talked again and he knew he was crying even though he couldn’t feel the tears when they slowly dripped down his cheeks and left hot stains on his pale, grey skin. It was relieve after all those worries and the shock and the fear which caused those tears, not grief and sorrow and the knowledge that Malik endangered his life just for the sake of his little brother. He got shot two times just for Ezio's sake, for the sake of their family. "If you do something like this again … I swear I find you and kick you in the ass." He really tried his best to stifle a small sob but it was way harder than any time before.

Malik chuckled softly but he did not make a move. "How's Ezio?" He just mumbled.

"Lying on the other side of the floor." It wasn’t important to inform him about Ezio's condition right now. Malik was the only thing that was important right now and that he would be better soon and that they could fight again about nothing at all.

"Well, well" He mumbled but his eyelids were heavy again judging by the way he was blinking and fighting against sleep, but still he was able to look smug.

"Oh shut your mouth Al-Sayf or I will stuff it." He finally said with a small hiccup and hated himself for being so weak. "Do you have any clue at all what you two idiots let us go through today? How frightened we were? You, Sir, better enjoy your stay and your time in this bed because as soon as you will be back home in my _loving care_ you will have nothing to laugh about and don’t believe I would considerate that you two just have one arm each." Maybe it was empty threats right now and here, but as soon as the first shock would be calmed down, he would make them true. A stupidity like Ezio's and Malik's deserved thorough punishment and Altaїr would know no mercy.

"You see me shaken to the core, _dear_." Malik mumbled grinning. "But you really seem to like my name, no?"

Oh this stupid smug grin on his face! He sat here crying like a baby and Malik had the nerves grinning at him like that? Malik's eyes were just slits by now when he looked at him, not able to pry them open fully again. Normally he would find it funny seeing him like this under the influence of narcotics and meds and normally he would pester him about this for all eternity, but not now, not today, not under these conditions.

"I just try to get used to the sound of it, after all I will be called like this for the rest of my life, won't I?"

Malik would've laughed when he would have the strength to do it, but for the moment the man could master only a small, soft chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one chapter left! 
> 
> you can also find me one tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/niishiki  
> feel free to ask me any question you like!


	11. Epilog

"I hate you and your fucking Tuna-Sandwich…" Malik Al-Sayf growled when the tuna-containing breath of his husband was huffed at his face. Some people would ask why he knew that it was in fact Altaїr and not one of the boys, but only Altaїr had this liking for tuna-sandwiches and only Altaїr would lean over him and breathe into his face like this just for the purpose of waking him and annoying the living shit out of him.

"Oh come on, today is _the_ day!" Altaїr grinned when his poor husband finally decided to pry open his eyes on this particular summer-morning.

"Don't you dare-" He managed to get out, but Altaїr knew no mercy and just pressed his lips on his and Malik could only make a slight grimace after Altaїr used the chance of Malik's still half open mouth (so he could protest) to shove his tongue unceremoniously into his mouth. Normally Malik would be happy to participate in morning-activities like that, but not now, not when Altaїr tasted like fish. _What did I think to marry that prick?_

Malik's reaction was fast: He grabbed Altaїr's right thigh and not only he threw the guy with a swift move onto the mattress but also rolled himself over him just so he could breathe into his face with all passion and intensity he could muster right now. Morning-breath against tuna-breath was always a fight worth fighting and Altaїr looked like he was torn between disgust and laughter when his husband gave back as he was given.

"You _do_ know that your door is wide open, right?" Ezio's voice sounded from the bedroom-door. His hair was a mess, his face unshaved and his expression sleep deprived, for he had come home late this night after his trip to Florence ( _Firenze_ – like Ezio would say) with Leonardo.

"Ezio help me!" Altaїr whined under his merciless husband.

"I'm sorry, but I can't hear you when a naked man lies on top of you." His younger brother was just as merciless as Malik and in the past years Ezio had more than once said _"you brought that upon yourself in the moment you said_ yes I do _, brother dear"_.

And just like this was his keyword Malik slumped down flatly on the younger male to bury him underneath his body. The blanket was by now his only cover so Ezio wouldn’t be confronted with his bare ass (not that it would be the first time – the boy simply never learned to knock first before entering their bedroom and by now neither Altaїr nor Malik knew any shame at all). Altaїr couldn’t help but fidget under him but he did not fight him off or struggle seriously. "You don’t know how much I look forward to the day when **all** kids have left the nest. We will do it in every fucking room of the house." Malik grinned with a deep murmur just loud enough so Ezio would hear it, but he only got a small snort from the door and a very unimpressed answer from the Italian boy (who really looked like an Italian-boy after his journey by the way, now that his skin was tanned by the sun).

"I bet you will be the first to bawl about missing us when you two are all alone in this big, big house, because when you're finished with desecrate every room you will get bored."

"Maybe we should get children of our own." Malik considered loudly and maybe because he tried to soothe this distinct worry that Ezio could be right. He and Altaїr had never been alone for long. There was always life and chaos in their home. The kids had brought friends over and there had been parties in the garden behind the house. It had been always noisy and the two of them were always needed. Suddenly he felt old and just like he was about to retire from his job. He was so used to being a father now that he couldn't imagine a life without all the noise and turmoil.

"Oh! Now that you're mentioning it: I'm pregnant – with triplets." Altaїr grinned, but Ezio only moaned, threw his hands in defeated gesture in the air and just escaped towards the bathroom. He was way too old to watch his big brother flirting with his husband so early in the morning. Other couples (normal couples) would whisper sweet nothings into their ears, but they would annoy and nag each other.

"Wow now I'm relieved, hon. I though you was just getting fat." Malik replied when he gently pinched his side. Maybe they really did neglect their morning jogging rounds a little those last weeks, but after all they needed to do it wasn’t really that much of a surprise. They would start again as soon as the stress was gone. The two of them hadn’t much time to rest for now after Ezio excused himself to the bathroom. There was a loud noise from downstairs from the kitchen – probably Connor who again fell over a chair. In those last three days alone he managed to fell or stumble over the new chairs six times already. In addition to the noise from downstairs sounded suddenly bickering and arguing loudly from the bathroom – Kadar who fought with Ezio about the dominance of the bathroom and at last there was a loud and heart-wrenching _"Altaїr! I can't find my hat! Where is the hat?"_

"You know what? Never mind. Maybe we shouldn’t get kids." Malik laughed when he finally rolled back on the mattress to let Altaїr free to go and take care of his motherly duties so early in the morning. Altaїr only groaned grumpily but Malik already counted the seconds after again a loud _"Altaїr!"_ sounded across the hallway of the upper floor until the time the owner of the voice would enter the stage. _Three_ , Malik counted when he heard a door being ripped open. _Two_ , when the first stomping steps hurried over the hallway. _One -_ a soft bang on the wall next to the bedroom door as the owner of the voice stumbled over a pair of sneakers (over _his_ sneakers) and bumped against the wall. _Zero_ – Entry Desmond Miles, seventeen years old, 6 foot tall (they really did feed the boy well during the past nine years), the spitting image of his oldest brother, dressed only in his boxers and a pair of red socks.

"Oh come on! You're still in bed?!" Desmond moaned before he stepped closer to grab Altaїr by the ankle and pulled at him to get him to move. The adorable baby brother which Altaїr could carry on his arms (Malik knew that Altaїr missed this very much), was long gone and now it was _little_ Desmond who would drag his big brother around if necessary. Against his healthy appetite Desmond had grown into a fit and sporty young man and Malik was a little bit proud on what became of the little child that he once was. The baby was an adult now (well not exactly an adult, but on a good way) and today was his _big day_. "The hat, Altaїr, _the hat_! Where is my hat?"

"Did you search under Kadar's stuff already, smartass? I bet he has stolen it from you." Altaїr sighed before he finally got to his feet again to help the baby search.

"He has one himself!" Desmond stated indignant.

"But his is not yours." Sibling-logic, it worked every time and so it did now. First Desmond stared confused at his older brother, but then he accepted his statement, thought about it and put it down as comprehensible. When you grow up with siblings little crimes like theft of food or theft of clothes were easily accepted and forgiven, because they all simply knew that the stuff of your siblings is always better than your own. "Come on, Kadar fights with Ezio about the bathroom again. Let us use this chance to get your freakin' hat back."

Malik already rolled back onto his stomach and flung his arms around his pillow, before Altaїr poked his head through the door again. "And you _Mister_ get your ass out of the bed and-"

" _OUCH!_ "

"- save the _little one_."

Malik moaned from the depths of despair of his soul when he finally heaved himself up and crawled out of bed. He really did not care about his nude form, nor did he care about the still wide open bedroom-door or about the kids running around the house, who could be easily traumatized seeing him naked while he searched for his boxers (which he lost due to a tragic event during the last night). "What a loony bin." He smirked after he found his boxers (under the bed) and his T-Shirt and pulled them on again. Well he couldn’t help it, it seemed. If he wouldn’t confront the everyday chaos, Altaїr would throw a wet sponge at him next time. After all those years he developed a really good aim.

"Ezio get lost! I was here first!", sounded his brother's lovely voice still from the bathroom when Malik passed the bathroom-door to get to the stairs. He did not waste his time to stop and listen; their voices would haunt him nonetheless like they did every time.

"I'm not forcing you to leave, am I? I just need to piss!"

Where was the time? When did the sweet, adorable children which frolicked through the house evolved into these monsters? Malik felt incredibly old already – and rightly so like Altaїr would say to remind him that he would turn thirty-seven this year (at least if Allah would pleases to and if the children or his husband wouldn’t murder him first). Nine years was a long time but they flew by when there are children and teenager in the house. It was just yesterday when he taught Desmond how to swim at the community pool and today was the big day when Desmond Miles would graduate from High school – just like Kadar. It was crazy and when he thought about all this he wanted just to sit down for a minute and take a deep breath. It was very much likely that he was way more nervous than any of the little ones. Had it been like this four years ago with Connor too?

He missed the time when the little ones where still small and adorable and cute. The only one of those four that was still adorable and cute was Connor – but he wasn’t exactly small. Malik stopped at the kitchen-door and just watched the guy who towered over every one of them with his 6 feet and 3.63 inches. Of course he had his problems because of this in the house. Connor looked more like one of those big dogs which always tried to crawl into a small nest or tried to climb on their master's lap. He had grown fast during those last years of his time in school and even now he was still unable to cope with his own height and strength. If Connor would hug one of them today he needed to be careful so he wouldn’t bruise any ribs or break their spines. He felt pity for the poor guy because he hurt his head so often at the doorframes or at his own bedframe.

"Good morning little one. What are you doing?" Malik smirked before he entered the kitchen and patted Connor's shoulder. For Malik it had been a real life crisis to let Connor go four years ago when autumn came and the boy decided to live on the campus. And it had been even worse a year after that, because Connor was the only member of their family who did not just left Boston but even left the US to study. Malik would never admit it, but he certainly cried a little when they drove the boy to the airport for his flight to London and when the small giant three times nearly lost his new glasses and two times nearly sat on them. With whom should he now wander the forests and search for wood to build something? Well at least he visited his family as often as he could and he wasn’t alone in the UK. He had Edward and Haytham who helped him if necessary. A small comfort after Ezio really endured not longer than one semester living on the campus before he moved back home. By now Ezio lived alone, but very close by and he visited nearly every day. They would probably never get rid of Ezio, but as least Leonardo helped sometimes and took him under his wings.

Now that he watched Connor he did not even want to think about the reality of Kadar and Desmond leaving the house next autumn too. Well every fledgling had to leave the nest eventually one day.

Connor was slightly red around his nose because of this pet-name his whole family had the joy to use for him and his little freckles on the bridge of his nose and under his eyes looked all the more prominent like this. Connor war probably the only one of those four kids you did not really need to worry about. He could take care of himself, he was reasonable and calm, he wouldn’t let himself be involved in a stupid fight and he was still _the good kid_. Malik only worried because the boy was still adorable and kind and because Connor was still too good for the world and way too naïve.

"Altaїr ate all the tuna and bread" - Like _all_ the tuna and bread! - "So I thought I could make pancakes." Connor then replied finally and lifted the pan he held in his left hand after he had grabbed it from the cupboard before Malik had entered the kitchen. It was still an enigma to Malik how Altaїr managed to get to the kitchen first so he could make himself a sandwich (Altaїr was the only one who really liked tuna at all, but his brothers were like scavengers. They would eat Altaїr's tuna sandwich just because it was Altaїr's and because there was the slight possibility that they could starve otherwise). He even dared Altaїr to get up extra early so he could annoy Malik with the smell. They never had their romantic and lovey-dovey time or something that could be called honeymoon. They never used cute pet-names for each other or feed each other with strawberries and cream, but after nine years together they would breathe in each other's faces to annoy and disgust the other. Now _that_ was true love.

"Come on I'll help you." Malik laughed finally and directed the boy towards the stove. Connor arrived about a week ago already and he would stay the entire summer and work in _Creed's Café_ with Desmond and Kadar (of course Kadar wasn’t exactly thrilled). Malik never met Mr. Creed during those nine years, but there had been times when the poor guy nearly employed only members of Malik's family. Kadar really liked to mention that there was really no need for them to work since they were rich as fuck (because they were a family and you are not rich as an individual in a family, you have to share), but Altaїr and Malik still believed it would be good for them to _shape_ their characters and as long as those kids put their feet under their table they needed to do what they were told to do. Malik felt like he had waited an eternity to say those words. And Kadar hated nothing more like his brother behaving like a father.

"You know your brother is an annoying ass?" Ezio suddenly moaned from the kitchen-door and when Malik looked at him he just wiped his chin clean from the shaving-cream (Malik's shaving-cream) with a towel.

"I **do** know that. It runs in our family." Malik laughed and he knew it wouldn’t take long after Ezio appeared in the kitchen (still half naked) for the doorbell to ring so Leonardo could invite himself for breakfast. In the beginning they used the dining room just rarely or to special occasions, but nowadays they needed the room nearly every time they were all gathered in the house for breakfast.

In fact it took not even five minutes after Ezio shoved his head into the fridge, until the doorbell rang and ten minutes after that the kitchen was nearly bursting at the seams. There were times when Malik just wanted to cover his ears so he could drown all that blabbering in the kitchen when the whole family was in the small room, because it was only natural that Ezio would have stories to tell and of course Desmond had things to criticize, but on the other hand Malik did not want to imagine how silent it would be in their home when they all moved out.

At some point Malik found himself at the door to the dining room and he caught himself watching the pack. Conner still looked sometimes like a cow when he ate and tried to concentrate or listen to a story on the same time, Desmond still had no manners whatsoever and ate like it was a matter of survival, Kadar still examined his food before he began eating (unless he wasn’t fast enough and Desmond would steal it from him) and Ezio still let his food grow cold because he was too engaged in speaking. The only normal person at the table appeared to be Leonardo and Malik knew no one who was more _not_ normal than Leonardo.

A chaste kiss on his right cheek startled Malik from his thoughts again when Altaїr suddenly flung his arms from behind around him and leant his forehead against Malik's shoulder, before he took a deep, deep breath. Altaїr actually managed to grow a little in those past years and towered over him now (not much really, just a few inches, but the Half-Syrian prided himself on this few inches) and there was really not much left from that seventeen year old boy he met nine years ago.

"Your breakfast will grow cold, stop smooching!" Ezio called from the table just when Desmond's hand already crept slowly and stealthily to Malik's plate. He still had no clue where the boy left all the food he shoved into his face.

"Altaїr ate already, he deserved no pancakes or he'll get fat." A small bite into his shoulder was the punishment for those words, before Altaїr let go of him to hurry and protect his food from his greedy brother. The times when Desmond fell asleep on Altaїr's arms and let himself get carried like a little monkey were long gone by now. It was a pity, really, but even today sometimes they would caught them sleeping together on the couch in the living-room after falling asleep while watching a movie and 'til this day they still fell back into old habits. It still looked incredibly cute when Malik would find them arm in arm sleeping on the sofa. As much as Desmond would like it to be different, he would always be the baby.

But today was the baby's big day and because of this there was chaos in the house. The whole morning only consisted in someone yelling something across the hallway or someone needed help with binding a cravat (and because Malik still was the only one who knew how to tie a tie he really had the hands full). The morning was full with stupid people which had the wrong pants or clothes that needed last minute washing or ironing after a long flight. Until late morning the bathroom on the first floor was constantly occupied and sometimes you would find a lost and confused family member standing in the middle of the hallway, holding two mismatched socks in hand unable to understand the phenomenon.

Malik had nine years to get used to the chaos that was inevitable when six men lived under the same roof, but still he felt unprepared – even though he already wrote a book about all this with Altaїr's help ( _"Yeah right as if you weren't already rich enough. No, no! The fine gentleman needs to write a fucking bestseller!"_ – to quote Kadar Al-Sayf). Malik always dreamt about writing a book someday in his life and Altaїr helped him with realizing this dream, just like Malik helped Altaїr with realizing his dreams. By now Altaїr's photos not only decorated their home anymore, they hung in galleries and were bought for huge amount of money.

It really was a miracle how they all managed to get ready in time and leave the house to split up and get into the two cars. In the past it had been especially humiliating to Desmond when the whole family would appear at some event of his school, because it was only natural that he would get puzzled looks when he announced his family and then there was a whole army of men, but on days like this he was glad to have them all by his side. Of course he would never say such things, but it was quite obvious just by looking at his face, even though Desmond lost much of his younger cheerful and carefree self in the cause of nine years.

Malik couldn’t deny (and you could probably see it from the orbit) how proud he was, when he sat in the crowd surrounded by all those other families to see how first Kadar stepped on the stage to get his certificate and when it was much later Desmond's turn. He had finished school with straight A's as one of the honored students of his school and it was really a little miracle in consideration of how often Altaїr despaired when studying with the kid. Just to get this straight: of course Malik was proud of Kadar too, but maybe he was a little more proud of Desmond, now that he saw him standing on that stage with this silly hat and his robes and that stoic, serious face while the boy desperately tried not to look to his family so that he wouldn’t turn bright red again (stage-fright, the guy could only be pitied) and finally got his straight-A-certificate for which he worked so hard.

Those past years hadn’t been easy for Desmond. His whole life hadn’t been easy actually, but during the last few years the boy finally understood what went wrong in his life and after Bill was released from prison last summer he had changed even more. He started engaging himself in sport, he started a thorough and strict training and he even visited martial-art classes. Of course he did not give reasonable answers when asked why he did this and in fact they all knew why he did it. Altaїr could’ve forbid it, but instead he joined his little brother.

They tried their best so the three children could grow up as sheltered and loved as possible, but it did not work always like that, nonetheless they were all rewarded today when the ceremony was over and when Desmond finally came back to them. Of course Malik noticed from the corner of his eyes how Altaїr tried to hide his tears when he brushed them without ostentation from his cheeks during the event, while Ezio was in fact so manly that his cheeks were still wet when Desmond hurried towards them with pride swollen chest.

Malik was certain they made an impressive picture when they all hugged each other and congratulated the graduates like it was more than just a High-School-Graduation. But in fact that was exactly it. It was more than just a High-School-Graduation and a certificate; it was about all the effort they made those last years and what they achieved together. It wasn’t just Kadar's or Desmond's success, it was the success of them as a family and the proof how much you could achieve as a family when you just work together and sometimes when you're ready to involve new people into the inner circle. Of course it hadn’t been always sunshine and rainbows in those nine years. There had been times when Connor caused them many sleepless nights because he simply couldn’t control his anger and rage and there had been times when Desmond had felt ashamed for his family and times in which they did not get along at all, but they survived those bad times and they did it right from the start. No matter how much they sometimes hated each other, they always knew how much they loved each other on the same time.

"We're proud of you little moth" Malik grinned when it was finally his turn to hug the boy even though Desmond felt uncomfortable getting hugged and kissed and smooched by his family like this in front of all those other people. His face already left the normal shades of red behind and now stood in direct rivalry with cherries, especially in the moment when Ezio decided it was about time to give the boy a fat kiss to the temple. The boy looked ready to be swallowed by the earth but he got no mercy.

There were photos to be made just like all the other families and like they did already four years ago with a highly ashamed Connor in their middle and years before that with a proud Ezio. Of course those photos would later hang in the hallway of their home.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me."  It was Connor who finally disrupted the idyll and his deep voice was nothing more than a low growl which sounded pretty much like an approaching thunder-storm. It only took them a second for the family to follow the students look and when Malik finally laid eyes on the sorry form of Bill Miles he did not just feel how something in him snapped, he was also quite sure that everyone around him could hear it.

It seemed like Bill Miles hadn’t enjoyed his stay at the prison at all although he was free for a year now. But what meant freedom when you only drink away your days to ruin your health and hopefully feel shame for all the things you did? There had never been a single apologetic word from this man. Not during the court hearing and no letter from the prison, but at least Malik knew that Bill had no job he could go back to. He had still the house he lived in with the kids, this dumpster of a house, he knew that only because he found Desmond three years ago exactly in this place. Bill's son had a hard time back then, not only because of the new school, but because all those things he slowly understood for the first time. The little one had run away often during that time and most times it had been Malik who found the boy.

He could already see from afar how unkempt Bill looked. His now grey hair needed a cut desperately and his beard needed a shave. His clothes weren't scuffed but they sure weren't okay either. Normally Malik would simply ignore him, would he see him on the streets, but not here and not today. Not when he noticed Desmond's look when the boy looked at his father. The sheepish red on his cheeks had vanished in this brink second and changed to a sickly white color. There was still fear inside his mind, the fear of a little boy who was beaten by his father and who had to watch his brothers getting beaten bloody. Suddenly Desmond's fingers cramped so hard around his certificate that his knuckles turned white. Maybe Desmond prepared himself exactly for this day with his sports and training, but now that the day had come he stood there frozen.

Malik saw already how Ezio tried to move, his face just a furious grimace, but he was held back by Altaїr. There was nobody who even tried to hold Malik back when he walked towards the man across the lawn. It was a bright and beautiful sunny day and Malik strolled towards Bill Mile's like he was about to greet an old friend, but then Bill flinched and took a step back and now Malik _ran_. He really was no violent man and he really learned his lesson years ago when he got shot two times and nearly lost function of his left arm and he really would never harm an older person (or anyone at all), but now he did. He felt exactly like he felt that day when he found Robert de Sable with Ezio. Malik was faster than the old Miles, he was able to grab him by the shoulder and before anyone could even try to stop him, he flung the man around and punched him right in the face with his balled left fist.

This one short moment when his fist collided with Bill's meaty face was a moment of utter and pure satisfaction. There were blood on his hand and blood dripped down Bill's face from his nose when the man stumbled back and felt for his probably broken nose confused and drowsy and Malik could already hear the approaching steps of his husband behind him. "Don’t ever come near my family again, Miles. If you dare to approach any of the boys again I will break more than just your ugly nose." Malik growled his eyes mere slits before he turned around in order to meet Altaїr halfway. He did not fear any back-stabbing move from Bill, even though it was probably naïve. He just couldn’t take the responsibility for Altaїr getting in contact with this man every again. It was just because of this that he turned away from Bill and walked towards his husband to catch him before he could get near Bill.

Altaїr looked pale when Malik reached him and wiped his bloody face with a wide grin on the tissue he had stored in his suit pocket in case of tears during the ceremony. "You can't even imagine how long I've waited for this opportunity." Malik grinned when he flung his arm around Altaїr's hip and pulled the younger man with him. This punch into that swollen ugly face of this man was the final stroke he needed for nine years now.

It was late this day and the house was silent for once. Ezio excused himself an hour ago to go home ( _finally_ ) after he already stayed on night on the couch in the living-room after his trip. The two teenagers and Connor had gone out to spent the night in town and celebrate (Connor was mostly with them not to celebrate but to watch them and later drive them home) after the big family dinner which Malik demanded to have. Altaїr went upstairs half an hour ago to retreat to the bedroom. He did not say it, but Malik knew that he still thought about seeing Bill today and Malik just spent the last minutes to print and frame the best photos that were taken today.

And now here he stood in the hallway of his home and hung the last photography to the others before he took a step back and watched his work. There was a framed picture in the middle of the hallway between kitchen and dining-room painted by a twelve year old boy and later extended by a thirteen year old boy, which showed a little conglomerate family. There were two adults with a heart over their heads, one teenage boy and three children laughing from the picture under the word _family_ and around this one painted picture there hung many photos on the wall. There was a picture of Kadar's first day of school which Malik found in his parents stuff and a photo of their first Christmas as a family of six, pictures of birthdays, pictures of Ezio's and Connor's graduations and of course now of Desmond's and Kadar's. There was also a picture of Altaїr's graduation from university a few years ago, right next to the one of Ezio's university-graduation and a photo which Edward sent many years ago during Connor's first visit to London when the boy stood with big eyes for the first time in front of Big Ben. And there was a wedding photo which showed two men who looked very much like they were ready to strangle each other. There were photos of parents and loved friends. The entirety of the hallway between kitchen and dining-room was full with those photos and sometimes Malik Al-Sayf caught himself how he sat down on the stairs and got lost while he looked at those pictures.

And then there were moments of shock when he thought back to one night nine years ago, a night on a snow covered street when he stood near a bus-stop. He had had a choice back then. He could’ve gone home without wasting any second thought on Altaїr, but he decided to turn to Altaїr and every time he thought about how lonely and boring his life would be if he had not done it, he couldn’t help but thank all gods he knew, that in this moment his heart won over his brain and that he again stepped out of his daily, boring routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's it. this is the end of the secon part of the story. There will be a third much smaller part to this and then this series is finished.
> 
> BUT! Since I love writing this AU so much I am now ready to take prompts or 'comissions' for shortstories regarding this AU. If you have anything you would love to read in the setting of Paper Hearts and the end is where we begin, please just write me a note on tumblr following this link:  
> http://niishiki.tumblr.com/


End file.
